Chapter 2 Loud and Deaf

Lucy's POV

The next day, it's time for our weekly group therapy session. At least, I think that's what it is. Every kid in the building is gathered up in this one room on benches to sit and watch a 3 hour long movie about how you should take your meds, listen to your doctors and be docile little sheep. It's really annoying, because it's the same thing every week, and then you have to take all of your pills at once, and it makes you feel all funky and basically act like a lunatic for the rest of the day. Or well, that's what happens to me.

"Come on Lucy, it's time to go..." Blake says, as he enters my room. I'm sitting on my bed, as always, staring up at the little rectangular window at the top part of my room. At night it lets in the moonlight, and in the morning it lets in some sunlight.

Turning my head when he walks in, I stand up and walk over, absently running my fingers through my hair. I'd noticed another syringe in his pocket. Wondering what that one contains, I walk along behind him and his sons, staring down at my feet.

When I finally realize that we're in front of the door, I step around the 3 guys and walk in, taking a seat at the back, right next to the door. Trying to be invisible, I shrink down a bit. They don't let people sit in the back. They HAVE to sit at the front. It's like a rule.

But, someone just had to notice and they walk over to me. Before they reach me, I stand up and take a seat near the front, sending a glare their way. The doctor just smirks and walks back to where he was leaning against the wall with the other doctors.

"Ok everyone, today we've changed the video up a bit, so just watch..." the head person says, then starts the movie and goes to the back of the room. Leaning back against my chair, I look towards the screen on the wall. They never change the video. I wonder what this is about...

The movie starts and I watch for not even 3 minutes, before looking at the wall next to the screen. That movie... it's so wrong. When I moved my eyes, I caught a glimpse of something... turning my head a bit, I stare towards the other kids in the room, realizing they all look well... doped up.

What the hell is going on here? Now blatantly staring, I watch as the doctors come around with cups of pills, handing them to the kids. I know what everyone's pills look like, and those AREN'T their pills. Then it comes to be my turn.

Blake, Cole and Leonard walk over together to give me my pills. I've actually got 3 small cups full. I wonder if the doctors think that we're all so crazy that we have no idea what our medicine looks like.

THESE AREN'T MY MEDS!........

I wish that I could scream that out, but I don't talk. Giving Blake a look, I nod slightly towards my pills, pleading with my eyes. He looks confused as he hands them to me, and a little shocked that I'm even trying to communicate.

As Cole hands the pills in his hand over to me, he bends close to me, and as he places the cup in my hand he whispers, "What is it?" in my ear. When he leans back a little, I dart my eyes towards the movie, then to the pills then give all 3 of them a desperate look.

It takes them a minute, but they finally realize what I'm trying to say. When Leonard hands me mine, he too whispers in my ear.

"Pretend to eat them, or just dump them down your shirt or something, or into your pocket." Then they all walk away, and no one suspects a thing.

Looking back towards the screen, I can sense a lot of people watching me. From the corner of my eye, I see almost all of the doctors watching me, since I haven't swallowed my pills yet. Taking a few out of each cup, I grab the water bottle someone handed to me, and pretend to drink them down, really I'm dropping them down my shirt.

That process repeats over and over again. When the last cup is empty, one of the doctors comes over to collect the empty water bottle and the cups, examining me. I pretend to get really loopy, making it look like my eyes are glazed over while I stare at the screen. The doctor walks away smirking. When I'm sure everyone isn't watching, I take all the pills that I dropped down my shirt and shove them into the pockets on the inside of my robe, glad that I had thought to wear it.

Staring back towards the video playing, I listen as the guy talks about new procedures that are being introduced.

"It is very important that you listen to your doctors and take all of your pills, they will make you... better. Much better. It may seem odd, but it's all with your well being in mind, always remember that. No matter what happens, it's good for you."

That's just one of the crazy things this guy on the vid is saying. He's also talked about how there are going to be punishments for anyone who doesn't obey, and if they don't get better well... the guy never finished that sentence. Keeping the dazed look on my face, I pretend to watch the video, but really I'm tuning all the horrible words out, and staring at a point next to the screen.

Blake, Cole, and Leonard come to collect me and take me back to my room, and I notice how I'm getting odd looks from the doctors. All the doctors, except for my specific psychiatrists, which are Blake, Cole and Leonard. It's really, really freaking me out, because I have no idea why the hell they're looking at me like that. Rushing out of the room with the 3 of them, we all speed up the stairs and to the office room thing that I was in when I was first introduced to them.

"This is really odd, really. Do you still have the pills?" Blake is walking back and forth in front of me, looking stressed.

"In all my years of being around this place and other institutions, I've never seen that video, or seen any of these procedures. Never even heard of them." He stops moving when I hold out all of the pills I'd put in my pockets. He smiles at me, but doesn't look discouraged when I don't smile back.

He's probably getting used to the fact that I don't talk to anyone. Letting the pills fall out of his hands and onto his desk, he calls Cole over to help him organize them, while telling Leonard to get on the internet or something to find out what type of pills those are.

When he politely asks me to leave, I do it quickly, walking down the hall at a fast pace, and swinging onto the stairs, running up them. I keep a look out for any doctors, not wanting to be caught.

Once I'm on my floor, on my way to my room, I'm home free.

Or so I thought.

When I pulled open the heavy door that leads to the hallway my room is on, I notice that my cell door is cracked open slightly. That's not good... Walking VERRY slow, I scoot my feet along the ground going at an angle so I can see if anything is in there. But when I get to the door, I see no one in there.

Breathing a sigh of relief, I realize that Blake must have not closed it completely when we left earlier. Stepping into the room, I skip over to my bed, wanting to lie down and forget this all happened.

Behind me, the door slowly creaks shut. Freezing in my spot, I don't look behind me, afraid of what I might see. But when I don't hear anything, I whirl around, only to come face to face with the head doctor person. Reading his nametag, I see that his name's Luke. Dr. Luke. Geeky much?

"You think you could fool me?" He says, walking closer. The door opens behind him and two burly guy doctor people walk in, standing like guards next to the now re-shut door.

"I know you didn't take your pills." I watch as he reaches in his pocket and leisurely pulls out a syringe filled with a murky gray liquid.

Dr. Luke smirks at me as he flicks the glass syringe, then presses down on the little handle thing, causing a little stream of whatever medicine that is to squirt out into the air, like in all the doctor movies. Trying not to be afraid, I keep my eyes locked with his.

"You probably think everyone should pity you because of what happened." Here he takes a step forwards,

" The truth is, most people are afraid of you. They think you're such a lunatic, that you've been like this for so long that you've lost your sense of humanity. I just think that you'd be a good... play toy I guess you could say." The next time he takes a step forwards, I have to take a step back, because he's almost close enough to touch me.

He makes some miniscule movement with one of his hands, and the two doctors come forwards next to him.

"Now are you going to be a good girl? I don't want to have to use force." When he says 'force' he glances at the two doctor people.

Taking more steps back when he comes close again, he sighs and shakes his head.

"Force it is..." is all he says, and then the 2 doctors come forwards, hands reaching.

NO!

Trying to dart around Dr. Luke, they lunge for me, grabbing my arms and holding me still. My heart starts pounding two times faster, and my vision starts going blurry.

Physical contact...

The room starts spinning, and I catch flashes of the action going on around me.

Dr. Luke coming close to me with the syringe. Him pressing the cold needle into the vein on my arm, then the stinging sensation of whatever it is as it rushes through my veins.

I can barely ask myself why it hurts in my head before I faint, or the medicine takes effect and knocks me out. Either one, something happens and everything goes black.

The first thing I realize when I wake up, is that I'm tied to a chair. Great, another one of my fears... Merinthophobia – fear of being bound or tied up. I start struggling blindly, trying to get free. I feel it when the rope around my wrists breaks the skin, and warm drops of blood drip down my hands. Eventually I get worn out, but I got the rope loose enough to actually pull my hands out, because I was struggling so much.

You can do a lot of damage if you're afraid of being tied up. Finally able to pay attention to what's around me, I see that I'm in the group therapy room, and the screen is on and playing in front of me. All the benches were taken out, so the room is empty.

Letting my eyes flicker to the screen for a minute, I watch as just a few of these words flash across the screen: pain, fear, discipline, enemy, fight. Along with pictures, gory pictures, painful pictures.

This. Isn't. Happening.

I remember what one of my counselors told me one time, when I had just had a violent mental therapy session, and I had been locked in just one of my many nightmares.

Flashback 6 months ago

"You mustn't let your nightmares control you, you are your own person, nothing can change that." The doctor tells to the 12 and a half-year old girl sitting in front of him.

"They're your dreams, you can change them into whatever you want. Even if it's not a nightmare, if it's real life, don't let your fears take control. Keep calm in tough situations, think out your reaction, don't let your emotions show. And no matter what, imagine it as something you can take control of."

I look up at him and blink a couple times, still breathing heavily from my nightmare.

"if your surroundings are scary, take that fear and use it to fuel your strength. This is your life, no one but yourself can help you."

* Flashback over *

After that session, the doctor quit and moved away. As soon as I remember that, I stand up and go over to the projector behind me, along with my chair. Without a word, I pick the chair up and smash it over the projector, breaking it into pieces. Over and over, the chair comes down, annihilating that stupid machine. Keeping a straight face, I use the light of the EMERGENCY EXIT signs to examine the room.Seeing glints of light from all four corners of the room, I recognize it as cameras. Recording my actions. Slowly, I turn from corner to corner, flicking each camera, and the person watching the screen that's got this recording on it, off.

Taking control of myself, I calculate everything. The possibilities of getting out of this room and to Griffin and the rest of them. Whether or not I'm going to live. Everything.

Letting my eyes roam around the room, I notice the double doors, see the glinting metal of the handles. Smirking, I walk over and pull on them, but I hear the rattle of a pad lock and chain on the other side, and I almost let out a scream of frustration.

Taking another course of action, I go to the emergency doors, and try shoving one open. The same thing happens, but surprisingly, I remember something I learned in my first weeks of being here.

If you pull the fire alarm, all doors will open automatically, no matter what. Deciding to try it, I punch the glass on the covering of the fire alarm next to the door, until it breaks, and I can pull the lever.

Immediately after, the alarm sounds and the door slides sideways to open. Grinning triumphantly, I sprint out the door and down the hallways, dodging doped up kids in the hallways, and scaring any doctors I can. Reaching the main hall, I see Blake, Cole and Leonard rushing down the main stairs. Relieved, I kick up the speed, hurtling towards them.

Almost knocking Blake down, I stop right before I hit him. He stumbles back a step from surprise, then he heads towards a side door.

The 2 guys follow him and I follow them. When outside, we hide behind a low wall, and keep quiet.

But then, a doctor finds us and ushers us out into the large yard. The fire alarm cut off some time ago, and now everyone's staring at me.

How the hell do they know it was me?

Before Blake, Cole and Leonard can do anything, a doctor closest to me takes out a syringe in their pocket and shoves the needle in my arm. What is obviously morphine gets shot into my bloodstream, and I fall limp.

Now isn't this just fantastic.