Chapter 1 Should I Go

****Lily's POV****

"So I have this idea. Let's just go to the ceremony this weekend and see how it goes." Amelia said to me from the vanity while doing her make-up, almost as if she was barely paying attention to the topic. I huffed. "You know I really don't want to Melly. Matt is going to be there, it's his party." I responded, slightly defeated. "Just because it hurts doesn't mean we shouldn't go to support our new Alpha Lily. You're going to see him around even more now. You know how that goes. And you HAVE to get used to the idea of Kayla being your Luna. I know it sucks but you got to suck it up buttercup." Amelia spouted out while finishing her look with some lip gloss. "I gotta go but please think about it." She gave me a half hug and walked out the door. I laid in bed contemplating the idea of even going to the Alpha ceremony. Sure, I needed to support our Alpha as an Omega, it was the right thing to do. But everyone knew what had happened between Matt and I. Even if he was sympathetic towards me and still wanted to be on good terms, I couldn't do it. I thought for sure that when he turned 18 I would be his mate but the Moon Goddess had other plans I guess. I wasn't salty about the situation....well actually I was. I can't lie. "I guess I'll put on a happy face and go. Just act like nothing is wrong and...." And what? Act like the love of my life didn't rip my heart out and stomp on it? Act like I'm not miserable? I laid on the bed for a few minutes more before deciding to get up and go shopping. I needed a new dress. Something to say "Hey! I'm still here and I'm doing great!" Even if I'm not. I had already lost my parents, then I lost Matt. I wasn't going to lose myself too. A flashback of my parents' funeral flashed through my mind. I shook my head to get rid of the painful imagery, then grabbed my keys from the table and went to The Yellow Daisy to find a dress. I drove mindlessly to the store and didn't realize how much time had passed before I pulled into the parking lot. I got out of the car and made my way inside. The girl at the register greeted me with an enthusiastic "Hello! Welcome in! Can I help you find anything in particular?" I shook my head and said No thank you. I think I got it." and walked to the back left of the store where the dresses were. I shuffled through the rack and found a little black dress and a simple red dress. I looked at them both hard before deciding to try them on. I went back to the front of the store to where the girl at the register was and said "Hey, I want to try these on. Do you have to unlock the dressing room or do I just go in?" She said that she had to unlock the door for me and grabbed a key that was hanging on the wall behind her. As she walked me back to the dressing room, I had an argument with myself in my head over if I was actually doing this or not. Once we go to the door she unlocked the knob and said "Just let me know if you have any questions!" I nodded my head again and went into the room. I tried on the black dress first. It looked like I was trying to dress sexy for a funeral. I laughed to myself and said "Well at least at least it's appropriate for how I feel." out loud. I took it off and hung it back on the hanger. Next was the red dress. The color itself was a statement and I think it was a statement I liked. I put it on and looked at myself in the mirror. I looked good. It was floor length with a high slit and a cowl neckline. I laughed at myself. It hugged me in all the right places and the red really complimented my blonde, almost white hair and icy green eyes. "I'll have to get this hemmed." I mumbled to myself. 5'2 wasn't tall enough for this dress, even in heels I wouldn't be tall enough. There was no competition between the two dresses. The red dress was the one that was going to show people that I was alive after the break up and doing great. I left the dressing room and browsed around the jewelry for a moment before deciding to go to the register to pay. This was actually turning out to be a pretty decent day. I listened to my favorite song on the way home and that really got my mood elevated. I sang my heart out along with the band and started it over when it finished. Before I knew it, I was home again. While I was getting out of the car, I decided to try on the red dress again. Just to make sure I actually made the right choice. After I got inside, I put my bag down and undressed. I made my way to my bedroom to see how I looked in it again. "Damn I really did make the right choice." I said to myself aloud.