Chapter 5 .

Zanders POV

I walked into Dr. Hotties' office after working with Dad. I was surprised that I had a lot of fun. My dad works harder than I thought but we had a good day.

He's filming a new drama action movie with The Rock. It was cool to meet one of my idols and Dad even let me work the camera for a few scenes. The Rock and I talked about fitness and wrestling, and it was cool because he was one of my favorite wrestlers as a teen. He gave me a lot of tips on acting too. I might sign up for some acting classes after talking with him. Hate to admit it, but my dad was right.

I'm sitting in the waiting room and all I can hear is a group of women giggling in Oliva's office. That group session must wrap up soon because I have wedding planning to do. I wonder what's going on in there.

I text my mom to tell her my day went well. I know I've been stressing her out. My mom doesn't deserve all the grief I cause her. I might have to bring her home some flowers tonight to show her how much I appreciate her.

The old grouchy secretary yells to me, "Mr. Vain. You can go in."

"Is Doc Hottie in there with someone?"

"She just said to send you in."

I walk in and Olivia is smirking at me from her chair. That damn smirk means trouble. It takes a second to register who else is in the room.

I'm doomed.

"No. No No! Hell, no!"

I try to walk back out, but two women are blocking the exit. She said her methods were untraditional, but this?

I may be a womanizing asshole, but I don't touch women. Even though I want to shove them out of my way and run for my life, I have respect.

Olivia's snarky voice comes through the crowd of ladies. "Sit Zander."

This crazy woman has brought the witches of dating past to my therapy session. I think I have died, and this is my penance. I knew I shouldn't have told her the names on my top five crazy woman's list.

There are Jamie and Jessica, the Sweet Valley High twins. I call them that because they look like the girls on the front of those books. Not that I've read them. My cousin used to read them all the time when we were kids.

The twins found out I was sleeping with them at the same time. When I suggested a threesome, they flipped out on me. They slashed the tires on my BMW and spray-painted a dick on my car hood. I count them as one combined crazy because they are a duo threat.

Then there is Misty from Montana, who blocked my quick exit from this hell. I've known her since high school. She's a plus size girl and tall, so I don't think I could take her. I love big girls. Misty is beautiful too and a professional model. Guys who can't handle a big girl are just compensating for their insecurities. Besides, big girls are more fun in bed and aren't afraid to eat. I hate to take a girl on a date and she just eats a salad.

Misty is a sweet girl, but she is a few bricks shy of a load. I never met someone so gullible. I convinced her if we didn't have sex by the spring equinox, the world would end, and told her I was a time traveler. It worked perfectly because there was a big storm that night. The storm was over by the time we finished, so it timed perfectly with the rain stopping.

Oh, no. That's scary, Kelly. The gothic queen of evil. I did nothing to this girl but sleep with her. It was a mutual thing. I convinced her we were soulmates after one hot night because she had her first orgasm from a guy. She's bisexual, and I thought it would be great because she's so open to new things. Turns out, she scares the shit out of me.

She is into witchcraft and I believed she put a hex on my junk. I couldn't have sex for a month without getting physically ill. I even saw a doctor, and they said I was fine. She says it was just from my own guilt eating at me from being afraid to commit. I don't think so. I think she cursed me.

I give this cute one over here a little wink. Sweet Sarah. Cute little blonde with dimples. She's cute as a bunny rabbit. I hate to break her heart, but we just have little in common but sex. We still hook up occasionally, just for kicks. She wants to have my babies, but I told her I had a vasectomy. I didn't, but she needn't know that. She has major baby fever and I think she wants me to marry her. Not happening.

Awe, she waved. That's right, baby. You know who your daddy is. Give her a little wink to get that cute blush and... yep. I still got it.

The other chick, who had the door blocked, is the notorious Vivian. The cougar and my beautiful ebony temptress. I hope Mom doesn't see her here. Viv is funny and great to talk to. She's highly intelligent too. I think she's a scientist or something. We had more of a friendship than lovers and Viv's a great support. She gets me.

It was just a short fling, but we're still cool. She is best friends with my mom, so we agreed to stop hooking up. I don't want to hurt their friendship. She is the only loyal friend Mom has. Except for the small fact of sleeping with me, of course.

I feel ill seeing them all here, but I guess it's time to face the music.

"What's going on here, Doc? Why are the hotties from date night's past here?"

Doc is just smirking at me again. "Have a seat, Zander. I thought it would be good for you to chat with some ladies you've had relationships with to deal with some of your commitment issues. You agreed to this therapy."

"All due respect, Doc. You didn't tell me what it was about."

"It's called confrontation therapy for a reason, Zander. You must learn to deal with confrontation to move on to dealing with commitment. You're the biggest hurdle is your avoidance of conflict by making light of everything.'

"But why"? It was casual dating, and it's no big deal. We weren't in a relationship."

Scary Kelly snarls at me. "Just casual dating? That's all we were to you?"

"Calm down, Elvira. I wasn't talking to you. Don't curse me for talking to my therapist."

Jessica frowns. "More like..."

"... booty calls." Jamie agreed.

The twins finish each other's sentences. I'm glad I didn't have the Hugh Hefner twins thing with them. That gets annoying. I don't see how the Heff did it.

"Okay, ladies. Let's keep this civil. We're here for Zander to get some insight into why he has commitment issues."

Viv chuckled. "Easy answer."

Most of the group repeated the same answer. "Ivy."

Sarah looks confused. "Who's Ivy?"

Vivian gives me an understanding smile. "The one who got away. His one true love."

Sarah sighed. "Oh."

Sarah looks disappointed, but we've had this conversation before. What do I say to a girl who won't catch the hint?

"Sorry, Sarah. You're sweet, but we will never be together. You know this."

"I know, Zander. I just like you. It's okay. You told me before, but I just wanted you to like me too."

I feel bad. Sarah is probably the most innocent one in this room.

I glance over to a nightmare. What's Scary Kelly doing with that voodoo doll with her? Do witches use those things? I really need to pray more. I think this girl will be the death of me. Man, she's scary.

Oliva is taking notes and doesn't even notice. "I want the girls to tell you why they think you didn't commit to them."

Kelly looks at me with her creepy grin. "Easy one for me. He's scared shitless of me. He thinks I cursed his dick."

Everyone is laughing, and it's not funny. She's a real witch, damn it. Why doesn't anyone believe me?

Sarah pouted. "For me, I think he isn't ready for a family. I want kids and to marry him."

"You're correct. Both of you."

Oliva is now laughing to herself because I look terrified of the witch. I'm sure she can tell that I keep trying to look for an easy exit to get away from Sarah too. This ambush is not fair. I'm outnumbered here.

Misty is giggling, but you can tell it's out of nervous tension. "He tricked me. It was just sex, though. We dated as teens but were just friends then. Nothing sexual happened until after we were older. He could stand to learn to think about other people's feelings. The pranks are a bit much sometimes."

She's trying to not make eye contact. I can't be near her for long before I want to have my way with her, and she knows it.

"Misty, I have to admit, what I did the night we hooked up... it was messed up the first time. I never apologized, but now you mention it, I realize it was wrong. Telling you I was a time traveler was a mean prank. But you're still one sexy bitch." I said with a playful wink.

"Thanks, asshole. You are too."

Twin's pipe in. "For us..."

"... He's a man whore."

"No girl wants a threesome with their..."

"... sister. It's gross."

I chuckled at that. I had to give it a go, right? I'm a still a guy.

Just great. They're all glaring at me. Relax, ladies. Don't get your panties in a bunch.

"Give me a break. Every guy fantasizes about twins. It's not new news. I had to try."

Vivian and Scary Kelly are laughing.

"He's not wrong." Viv chimed in.

They're all laughing now. Thanks, Viv. She helped me dodge that bullet.

"All right, Vivian. What about you?"

"Honestly, we were just there to comfort each other. It was not long after Ivy broke up with him, and I had my second divorce. He was helping me move into my new house and one thing led to another. For me, it wasn't commitment issues. It was just two depressed people that were there for one another. There is no ill will between us. Our main issue was not hurting his family, so we called it off."

"Thanks, Viv. You have been my mom's best friend. She means the world to me and I'd never want to hurt her."

"Zander, sweetie, you're not a bad guy. Just very misdirected."

All the women agreed. I wasn't expecting that.

Oliva smiled a real smile. "Seems the ladies see more in you than you see in yourself."

After talking for almost an hour, I am feeling surprisingly good about this. I'm still scared as hell of the witch. Maybe she needs some sessions with Dr. Hottie to deal with her own dark issues. They can discuss how many goats she sacrificed. (shiver) Creepy.

"This was a productive session. I think we are good here. Ladies, thank you for joining us. Zander, spend the weekend reflecting and we will pick back up on Monday."

"Doc, I'm still marrying myself."

"You're still an idiot," she laughs.

I'm starting to like Dr. Hottie. She's not so bad after all, even though she likes to tease me.

***

Oliva's POV

I must get my notes down before my next client. I grab my cellphone to take dictation.

Doctors Note: I must admit, Zander's not so bad once you get beneath the surface. He has a huge ego, and a bit of a prankster, but he means well. I think this Ivy thing is more of an issue than he realizes. I believe he may truly still love this girl. He's hiding from the fact that he hasn't had closure. He does everything he can in our sessions to avoid eye contact when the topic comes up. This may be something I need to dig into deeper.

His parents want me to talk to him about the pranks he pulls on his father. I think he does these schemes because he's a grown man with no direction for the future and needs a creative outlet. He's agreed for me to consult with them in hopes his father will approve the wedding. As much as he protests, I think he still seeks their approval.

I'll work with the parents on how to meet this Ivy to push the confrontation therapy further. It's an unorthodox method but seems to work for him. Also, I need to appoint someone to watch over him for a bit. I want to be sure he doesn't try anything irrational. If he does this self-marriage thing, it could hurt any chance of the career he seeks. The boy needs a babysitter.

Humm... that's not a bad idea.