Chapter 3 What News

"Bakit po doc, anong problema sa 'kin?" I asked.

Tumingin siya sa 'kin and it felt like something wrong is happening. Inayos niya ang kanyang upo at binaliktad niya ang kanyang laptop at patuloy itong hinarap sa 'kin.

Napatitig ako sa imahe. Hindi ko siya maiintindihan pero..

It showed a picture of a brain.

"Ano po yan?"tanong ko.

I've learned a lot of things from our science class but this.. I've never seen it before. And even if I did, may pagka-lutang ako ngayon. Kasi kinakabahan ako sa sasabihin ng doctor.

I mean, who wouldn't right? Nasa hospital ako, hinihintay ko 'yong results ko, may pinakitang imahe sa 'kin. If you're going to hear some news, expect the best .....and expect the worst.

"I'm sorry, but you're diagnosed with glioblastoma, a rare cancer disease," sagot niya at itinuro ang kakaibang bilog sa bandang ka nang-itaas ng aking utak sa test results.

Beads of sweat rolled down my cheek ng sabihin niya ito. Hinawakan ko ng mahigpit ang aking bag at ginalaw-galaw ang aking mga paa.

Napakunot ang aking mga kilay at tinitigan lang ang laptop image na pinakita sa 'kin. My brain isn't processing anything and I'm getting anxious. I'm to shocked to even respond. Tininignan ko na lang ang mga ng doctor at napalayo siya ng tingin sa 'kin.

She feels guilty.

I want to make the atmosphere go away.. But I can't.. Pra-prankahin ko na lang si doc.

"I'm sorry po, can you please explain i-it. I mean 'yong disease ko?"

"Wait lang nak.. ok ka kang ba? Should we call for someone like your relat-" aniya.

"Ok lang po ako.. Please answer my question," diretsong sinabi ko. It's not like I don't have any relatives It's just that the question is, may pake ba sila? Would they even mind comforting me? Would they even have the interest to go here? Would they even answer my calls?

No

Napabuntong hininga siya at na rinig kong buksan niya ang kanyang lamesa .Naglabas siya ng isang white folder at binuksan ito. Inabot niya sa 'king ang isang test result.

Nakalagay ang pangalan ko sa ibabaw ng papel at hindi ko na nabasa ang ibang teksto ng maagaw ang aking pansin sa mga imahe.

It's just the same sapinakita sa unang picture pero sa iba't ibang anggulo.

"Glioblastoma is an aggressive type of cancer that begins in cells called astrocytes. 'Yong astrocytes na ito ay support nerve cells. It can occur in the brain or spinal cord. So vital ito..."

"Pero doc, pwede pa naman 'to magamot 'di ba?" tanong ko.

"I'm sorry but, doctors have done researches about this but for now, there is no cure for glioblastoma. Kaya it's known as a rare disease."

Every glimmer of happiness washed off my face ng sinabi niya ito. Walang cure? Paano naman ako? Anong mangyayari sa 'kin. My heart's beating really fast right now. I don't know what emotions would I feel and show right now. Dapat ba akong maging malungkot? Magulat? Iiyak ba ako?

"So.. ibig sabihin niyo po hindi na ako gagaling?" tanong ko. Ok lang sa 'kin na walang gamot dito pero.. The question is..

Would I survive?

Sa totoo lang, gusto ko nang umalis. I don't want to hear bad news already. Magulo na nga ang buhay ko tapos may da-dag-dag pa.

"I regret to inform you that only 25% percent of people who are diagnosed with this disease survive more than a year. And most of them only lives for 12-18 months. It's possible, that you may die over a year," sabi niya.

'It's possible that you may die over a year,'

I felt like my heart shattering into a million pieces. Mas masakit pa 'to kaysa sa palo ni tita.

I'm still young.

Senior highschool pa lang nga ako eh.

Just like other people may pangarap rin ako.

Pero ng dahil dito parang nawalan na ako ng motivation.

Ever since I was young, I wanted to be an author.

Pero ano nang nangyari?

How can I possibly achieve my dreams if I'm gonna die early?

"W-what?" bulong ko habang nakatitig sa lapag. Napahawak ako sa making ulo at napakapit ng mahigpit sa aking buhok.

"I'm sorry iha, I know you're young pero ito and dinadanas mo. I'm not telling you to enjoy your life while it lasts. I want to tell you na wag kang mawalan ng pag-asa. It's a fact that you may die because of the disease but there are reports that people who are diagnosed with the disease, live for a maximum of 5 years. And before then, live," wika niya.

Ni walang isang patak ng luha ang tumulo galing sa aking mga mata. Am I really this numb? Or I just don't want other people to see me in that weakened state?

But the sad truth is, even if I cry may mag-babago ba?

No, nothing will change.

In this world, emotions should be hidden. Dahil kung hindi, sasabihin nila

'Bakit ka umiiyak? Luh OA'

'Yan nanaman papansin'

'Ang arte-arte'

Or minsan, wala na lang talaga silang pake sayo. Popularity is basis to attention and sympathy. Pag sikat ka at kilala, lahat mag-mamahal sayo.

And that's what I failed to accomplish. Minsan nga naiisip ko I'm a complete failure. Dahil na-sa 'kin na ang mga awards and trophies. Matalino ako, maganda daw ako, mabait daw ako. But I never had a big circle of friends. Why? Kasi lagi kong naiisip an walang tatanggap sa 'kin.

Many people want to be friends with me. But I pushed them away. That was my mistake. So ngayong kailangan ko ng comfort wala an akong kasama.

I only have Kyle and Namy (Natasha). I'm thankful for them both dahil kahit ganito ako, they never left my side since elementary.

How would I survive without them?

. . . . . . . . .. . . . . . . . . . . . . .

I said my goodbyes to the doctor and now, I found myself standing near the waiting shed outside. I was sitting alone in this cold place. Medyo late na rin kasi. Malayo pa uuwiin ko baka mamaya tangayin pa ako ng kidnapper dito.

Pag-tingin ko sa taas ay nagsimula nang nagsihulugan ang mga patak ng ulan. Tumgin ako sa gilid-gilid habang pinapanood ang mga taong naglalakad palayo. I opened my bag at kinuha ang earphones ko. I put my Spotify on and played some sad songs.

Alangan dapat match as theme.

'I'm going under and this time I fear there's no one to save me.'

'This all or nothing really got a way of driving me crazy.'

'I need somebody to heal'

'Somebody to know'

'Somebody to have

'Somebody to hold'

Ngi-ngiti ngiti lang ako dito pero sa totoo, my heart is breaking already.

Just because I'm living, it doesn't mean that I'm happy.

Now the day bleeds

Into nightfall

And you're not here

To get me through it all

~

And then you pulled the rug

I was getting kinda used to being someone you loved

I let my guard down

And then you pulled the rug

I was getting kinda used to being someone you loved

I didn't even realize that I was crying already. Tears were streaming down my face as I try to wipe it off. Tinigilan kong umiyak pero ang hirap. Ansakit.

I had someone I considered home before.

But if the home is really where love is? I'm certain that I won't make it home.

I don't know where he is now. In short, he left me for no reason. I guess he found happiness in someone else's comfort.

And now I needed someone to comfort me in my sadness.

I mean sino bang hindi malulungkot ng malamang mamatay ka na anytime. I mean, suicidal people maybe. Pero ako, I have dreams and goals. I'm a very emotional person and I just don't show it. But once, never once did I think of committing suicide.

Pero ngayon, I'm re-thinking my decisions. Gutso ko pa ba talagang mabuhay ngayong nalaman kong I might die over a year? I don't know anymore. I don't have anyone to live for. So why keep living if I'm going to die someday?

Hihintayin ko munang tumigil and ulan bago ako umalis dito. May bubong naman 'yong shed kaya dito muna ako. I checked my watch for the time.

5:46 pm

One and a half hours have passed. Antagal ko pala doon sa loob. Nasobrahan ko ata ng titig sa lalaking 'yon. Nope. Kalimutan mo na nga 'yon self!

I shook my head and tried to forget him. To bad wala akong payong. Pero at least, may emergency jacket ako. I wore it warm myself naka dress pa naman ako. Some might say na pang-girly and dress and I don't really mind dahil 'yon ang gusto ko.

Minutes and an hour have passed and the rain didn't show any signs of stopping. Halos lahat ng nakita kong tao dito nag-si alisan na. It's quarter to seven and nandito parin ako. Pinatay ko ang music ko at tinanggal ang earphones. Kinuha ko ang aking bag at tumayo na mula sa bench.

I opened my phone and dialed a certain number.

✨♥♥BeshyCakesss ♥♥✨

(KYLE)

DIALING....

"Sorry, the number you have dialed is now unattended please try your call later"

💋Natashaaa🩱

(NAMY)

DIALING...

"Sorry, the number you have dialed is now unattended please try your call later."

I sighed and turned off my phone. Nasaan na ba 'yon? Siguro nasa club nanaman 'yon. Sila pa ba? I kept my phone inside my bag and removed my jacket. Gagamitin ko na lang payong itong jacket.

Ready na akong lumusong sa ulan ng may na rinig akong bata na umiiyak. Agad ako napalingonsa gilid ko at nakita ang isang maliit na batang babae. Umiiyak ito habang may dala-dalang hello kitty na bag.

Agad akong lumapit at napaluhod sa harap niya. Hinwakan ko ang kanyang balikat at at inayos ang kanyang buhok.

"Shh, shh why are you crying?" tanong ko habang tinititigan siya. She tried to calm down herself and I helped her by rubbing circles behind her back.

I have a soft spot for kids I know because kids deserve the world. They don't deserve to experience the childhood I did.

"What's your name?" I asked again.

"A-Allissa po," she answered. I nodded at her and continued asking questions. Hayy, kids.

"Why are you crying, Allissa?"

"P-po?" she asked looking confused. May mali ba sa tanong ko?

"I asked, why are you crying po?" I answered.

"A-ano po? Di ako m-marunong mag-english."

Ay shuta. Dapat kanina mo pa sinabi nagmukha tuloy akong ewan. Patience self, patience. It's just a child.

"Ah, tanong ko po, bakit ka umiiyak?" I asked again while smiling at her. Good impression and acting kindly. That's an important aspect when talking to kids. That's why madali silang ma-kidnap. Konting tukso lang na-uuto agad.

"Nagtratrabaho 'yong m-mommy ko dito sabi niya si kuya susundo sa 'kin pero wala naman siya..uwahhh!" She answered started crying again. Luh, patay tayo niyan baka mag-mukha akong kidnapper.

"No, no shh stop crying na ha? Don't worry I'll help find your mom or brother," I said and she just looks at me dumbfoundedly. Ay! Nakalimutan ko di pala makaintindi ng english.

"Tigil na iyak ha? Hanapin na natin si mommy mo," sabi ko at tumayo. Hay kung sino mang kuya into ansarap batukan. Iniwan ba naman tong bata.

"Ok po ate," she answered.

"Anong pangalan ni mommy mo??" I asked again.

" Rose J-Javier," mahinang sagot niya habang inaayos ang buhok niya. Ah! Doctor ko 'yon ah. I get it now. Siguro 'yong brother niyang 'yon nakakainis na lalaking 'yon. Hindi na ako magtataka kung bakit umiiiyak 'yong bata eh. Irresponsible.

"Paano ka naman nakapuntan dito?"

"Naglakad po," she answered..

Ay pilosopo. Be happy that I'm kind kung hindi iniwan na kita dito. Sige na nga. I took my jacket and placed it on her. Hinawakan ko ang kanyang palapulsuhan at sandali siyang sinama papunta sa guard ng hospital. Napatakbo kami dahil sa lakas ng ulan.

Basa na tuloy ako, but the important thing is the girl is good condition. Ang sama naman kung ako 'yong naka-jacket tapos siya 'yong basang-basa. Nang makarating kami, kinalabit ko ang gurad at kinausaup siya.

"Manong, anak po siya ni Doc Javier. Hindi yata nasundo galing school," I said. The guard nodded and took a plastic chair for the little girl to seat on. I let the girl seat and the guard started talking to her.

I just stood at the side while rubbing my palms. Nilalamig ako dito, gusto ko na sanang mag-taxi pauwi at humiga na lang sa kama. From all the things that have been happening these days I just want to sleep.

Gusto nang magpahinga.

Napatigil ang aking pag-iisip ng lumapit sa 'kin and guard.

"Sige maari ka nang umuwi iha, hihintayin na lang namin si doc." I nodded my head and walked near the girl. I kneeled down to reach her level. Bibiksan ko ang aking bag at naglabas ng bar ng Cloud-9.

"Allisa gusto mo kumain?" tanong ko habang inabot sa kanya ang bar ng chocolate. She bobbed her head and took the chocolate right away. Binuksan niya ito at simulang kumain.

"Allissa, I'm going na ha? Hintayin mo na lang si mommy or kuya mo," bulong ko sa kanya. She faced me while still having chocolate marks on her cheek. Ang cute! I was about to leave nang may naalala ako.

"Ah wait! Ano nga pala pangalan ng brother mo?"

"Si kuya??" tanong niya habang ngumungaya ng chocolate as bunganga. I nodded at her.

"Mhmm," I answered. Mukha akong tanga dito alam ko. It's not like I'm interested or something. Just for future purposes alangan.

"His name is Callisto!" she answered cheerfully.

"Thank you Allisa, I'll go now goodbye," sabi ko habang naglakad paalis. Napatigil ako ng may humatak sa laylayan ng bistida ko. Lumingon ako sa likod at nakita si Allissa hatak-hatak and admit ko.

"Ate ano pangalan niyo?" tanong niya. I flashed a bright smile at her and answered.

"My name's Krystella."

"Ok! Bye ate Stella Thank you!" she said. I just nodded and walked away. Ti-next ko si Natasha na i-pick up ako dito and she said yes. Papunta pala daw sila ng club at isasama nila ako. Well, a club is not a bad idea. Maybe a little drink wouldn't hurt, right?

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Male Main Lead's P.O.V next hehe.

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