Chapter 3 Present II

Nervousness, fear, anxiety, worry, and remorse- that was I feel. As my walk lasted, it also got faster and faster.

After the incident at the Restaurant, I drove Chira to their house. And then, Weina called and said that Meira was rushed to the hospital.

I don't know what to do. I also don't know why she had that accident. I can't explain but I'm too worried about her. Yes, I hate her. Yes I want her to get out of Chira and I's path, but I don't want her to be ruined. I don't want to think that something bad will happen to her.

When I got to the opposite side of the emergency room, I immediately saw Weina. She sat up and bent down. I know she's worried about Meira too.

"W-weina...."

She turned to me and smiled slightly before nodding. Her face was full of tears because of her puffy eyes.

"Ser Eserlon..." (Sir Acerlon)

"H-how is she?" I asked her.

"The ductor is still treating hir," Weina replied weakly. (The doctor is still treating her,)

"W-what happened to her?"

"The bus that Ma'am Mira was raydeng in crased, Ser." (The bus that Ma'am Meira was riding in crashed, Sir.)

I nodded to her in responce and sat in the chair, outside the emergency room.

"She did it again..."

I frowned at her. "What?" I confusely asked her.

"She did it... twice,"

"What are you talking about?"

I can't understand her. She keeps on saying- she did it. Is this woman crazy again?

"I want to think that this is an accident but... everytime I remember that... everytime I remember how she hurt herself when she's hurt, I can't avoid to think that... this is also her wants.. that maybe this is also her plans..."

My body stiffened. Not because he speaks straight now but because of how I feel and the things that come into my mind. My mouth opened but closed again because I didn't know what to say. I wanted to speak but no voice came out.

Is she hurting herself?

That's my thought. That's the words I wanted to ask and confirm to her.

Weina smiled sadly at me. Of the two of us, I'm sure she already knew Meira better than I did. Even though they have only been together for a few weeks, I can see that Weina knows and cares about Meira.

"I think she want to kill herself. I don't know what happened to her. In my own perspective.... I don't understand her. She's like, ah! I can't explain..."

I was constantly stuck in my seat. I don't know what to do. I'm fainting. My body was shaking especially my knees.

"In short she's a risk taker..."

That's the words it hits me.

I wanted to speak but I can't. I wanted to hurt myself because I knew, I was hurting Meira but I kept going. She doesn't deserve me. I love someone else. I don't want to hurt her but the three of us are equally hurt.

"I don't know but everytime I talk to her... everything's alright. She even smiled infront of me. But I know... it's a fake one. It's hurt to see her like that. I know she loves you so much but please... Sir Acerlon, if you cannot learn to love her... just let her go. Push her away so that she would never turn her back to you again. Push her away, don't be good to her. I believe, she can move on, not now but I know that time would comes...."

I tightly close my eyes. My hands trembled numb. I nodded at her.

I know, it must have been before. I shouldn't have put it off. I need to let her go now.... it's not just me and Chira who are hurting, even Meira is hurting even more.

I'm sorry, Meira.....

My eyes twinkled as I opened it. My head hurts a bit, but I can still do it. I was stunned when I realized someone was looking at me. my lips parted as Acerlon's gaze met mine.

"A-ace..."

I forced myself to sit on the bed and lean on its headboard but the pain hissed in my head. When I recovered, I looked at Acerlon who couldn't even help me.

There was no expression on his face. He was staring at me, seriously. I sighed.

"W-why?"

"How are you, Meira?"

"I-I'm fine now..." I said softly.

He nodded at me. I don't know but, why do I feel like there's something about the way he stared at me.

He started to walk towards me. I got nervous. My body started to tremble.

"Here..." He said while handing a brown envelope to me.

From my stare into his eyes, my gaze dropped to the brown envelope he was holding.

It's only now that I notice that he's holding it.

In my trembling hands, I accept the envelope he was giving me.

I don't know was it all about but- I swallowed, I don't want to open it. I don't feel good about what's in it.

"W-what is this?"

"Just open it and you'll see,"

With a trembling hands, I opened the envelope. I was nervous- I didn't want to open it but I had to.

As I opened it and slowly came out of the papers in the envelope, it was as if my heart stopped beating when the writing on the top of the paper opened up to me. It is bolded and placed in the very center of the paper. This is the largest letter more than the others so it is the first one you will read than the others.

"W-what is the meaning of this?"

I shook my head to him. I drop the envelope together with the papers and held his right hand. My tears immediately rolled down in my cheeks.

He clenched his jaws. "Let's stop this useless marriage, Meira. Let's divorce...."

I sobs, I don't want!

"I don't want, please l-let's fixed this..."

Acerlon sighed and softly stared at me.

"Please... Meira? Let me go now... let's have our freedom.... No matter what you do, I can't love you back because the only girl I want to love and spend my life with... is your sister, to be with Chira. And if you really love me, please... let me be with the girl I love."

I held his hand tightly and repeatedly shook my head to him. I burst into tears.

I don't want to let him go. I want him to love me back.

This is the last time,

"Please don't leave me...."

I begged him to look at me but he didn't. He tiredly shook his head to me.

"P-please, don't leave....."

He slowly removed my hands holding his hand. I was so weak, I couldn't tighten my grip on him.

"I'm sorry... and thank you for loving me." He turned his back to me. He slowly walked to the door. When he touched the door knob, he stops. "I expect that documents tommorow morning. I also expect that you have already signed it." He said before leaving me.

I cried so hard. My eyes are already swollen with tears but it seems like the tears will never run out in my eyes. Tears kept dripping down my cheeks.

He hurt me. He hurt me a lot. But I know myself, I am more than hurt because of I, myself- did that.

Why do I need to suffer this much?

In the end, I'm always be alone.