Chapter 4 A kiss is just a kiss

Chapter 3

Myra's pov

One month later

It's been a month since some monster took my best friend from me. I moved out of the apartment we were going to share together because I just couldn't live there without her. Gabe, Noah, and I got a house together off campus. Noah and I have become inseparable lately. We have kept each other going. He was my rock. I was angry with Gabe for a while since he promised me everything was going to be okay, and it wasn't. I also blamed myself. Noah helped me to realize it wasn't my fault at all.

Noah found a really good grief group that we started to go to. I missed Briel and I was not handling it very well. I took a semester off but now it was time to get back to life. Briel would want us to go on. At least the monster that drugged her was finally behind bars. Sadly, two other girls died before he was finally caught. He would be spending the rest of his life behind bars.

Gabe and I have become pretty distant. He just doesn't get why I'm still not coping. He loved Briel like a sister, yet he so easily moved on. I can't just file my feelings away as easy as he can. I'm really struggling. My parents wanted me to come back home, but I think it'll be even worse there because everywhere I went there would be memories of Briel. I was going to stay here and try to put all my focus on my classes.

Classes started today so I've been busy. I didn't have time to stop and think about Briel or my grief. I came home and no one was here. I took a shower and decided to just lay down. I was exhausted from running from class to class all day. Right now, all I wanted to do was sleep.

I woke up to what sounded like a loud crashing noise. I jumped out of bed and ran out to see what it could be. Stupid move on my part I know. I was pissed when I saw what all the commotion was about. It was a very drunk Noah and Gabe. We're they serious right now. Drinking is what caused me to lose my best friend. I was so angry at them both.

"What the hell were you two thinking?" I screamed.

"We weren't thinking we were drinking duh damn have some fun for once." Gabe said.

Did he seriously just say that to me? How dare he. I was not dealing with his drunk ass tonight. I loved him but if this kept up, I don't know if we will be together much longer. He's changed and I just can't deal with the guy he's becoming. I just turned around and went back up to my room.

Did he seriously just say that to me? How dare he. I was not dealing with his drunk ass tonight. I loved him but if this kept up, I don't know if we will be together much longer. He's changed and I just can't deal with the guy he's becoming. I just turned around and went back up to my room.

I was so angry and hurt. What was going on with Gabe? He's changed so much lately. I get that I haven't been the best girlfriend lately, but I have been going through a lot. I'm trying to get my life back but it's hard to move on when someone your so close to died way too soon. I'm struggling and I need him, but he just doesn't get that. There was a knock on my door, but I didn't get up to open it because I didn't want to fight with Gabe anymore.

"Myra it's just me Noah are you ok?"

"No, I'm not ok. What were you guys thinking? Briel died because of alcohol laced with drugs. Do I have to start worrying about losing you two as well?"

He sat down on my bed and pulled me into his arms as I cried. I wasn't mad as much as I was worried. I can't lose anyone else. I thought I was getting better and getting back to normal but all it took was this to set me back. I feel like I also died that night. I'll never be the same again.

"I'm so sorry Myra I wasn't thinking. I just wanted to forget even if only for a night."

"I get that trust me I do. I miss her so much. I don't know how I'm ever going to get past this."

"Hey, you take your time no one can tell you how long to grieve."

"Can you tell Gabe that?"

"Of course, I will. I don't know what's going on with him lately. Maybe this is his way of coping with the pain he's feeling over Briel."

I don't know if what he's saying is true or not all I know is he's not the same guy I fell in love with. I need to talk to him when he sobers up. I wanted to talk to him now, but he was just too out of it. I hated going to bed angry that was just something we didn't do. I felt like we were drifting apart and I'm not sure we can get back to what we once were.

"Thanks, Noah, for everything."

"Anytime you're my best friend I'll always be here for you."

He pulled me into his arms and hugged me. He pulled back and just looked at me. He wiped away my tears then did something totally unexpected. He kissed me. We pulled away from each other in shock. He didn't say anything he just got up and practically ran out of my room. I touched my lips and wondered what the hell just happened. Did Noah really just kiss me? How the hell was I going to explain this to Gabe? Should I even tell him? Then I'd also have to tell the guy I loved that I had kissed his lifelong best friend back.

Gabe's pov

Man, I really messed up last night. So much so that my girl and my best friend aren't talking to me. I needed a night out away from everything. I get that Briel was like a sister to Myra and her dying suddenly like that was horrific. I missed her as well, but I didn't sit around wallowing in my grief. Myra doesn't want to do anything but go to classes then come home and stay in bed. I feel like my girl died along with our friend. I don't know what to do anymore.

I'm not happy and I can tell she isn't either. Things can't keep going on like this. I wish she'd just snap out of it already. Briel has been gone for a while now yet Myra still can barely function. I need to get back to our lives. We're in college I want to have some fun not always be burdened with this sadness. I just can't do this anymore, but I love Myra so much I don't want this to end us.

"Myra can we talk now that your calm and I sobered up?"

"I am running late and need to hurry and get to class. Can we talk when I get back home?"

"Yea sure that's fine."

She seemed kind of distant, so I guess she was still mad. I don't know what the big deal is. I didn't do anything wrong. I went out with my friends playing darts and drinking some beers. I didn't intend to get drunk, but shit happens. I feel like Myra acts more like my mom then my girlfriend. She needs to get out and have some fun.

Myra has always been fun and outgoing. She was so full of life. That's what attracted me to her. So, to see her now being a shell of who she used to be just destroys me. Noah got her going to this grief group, but it doesn't seem to be helping. Maybe she needs to see a shrink and possibly get on some meds. I just don't know how to help her anymore. I don't know what to say without setting her off. I miss the fun girl I fell in love with. I want her back.

Noah's pov

I can't believe I kissed Myra. I kissed my best friends' girl. I made a huge mistake. I need to tell him, but I was worried what would happen. I started to avoid him and Myra. I thought she would tell him, but she hasn't. I need to talk to Myra and figure out how to handle this.

I ran into Myra on campus. We literally ran into each other. She was looking down and I was on my phone. When she saw it was me, she jumped back? Seeing her do that really bothered me. She was one of my closest friends. Briel's death has brought us even closer. Now she looked scared of me. Man, what have I done? I never meant for this to happen.

"Myra I'm so sorry for what happened. I was drunk but that's no excuse."

"I just want to forget that ever happened and just move past it."

"What about Gabe? Shouldn't we tell him about this?"

"I am not losing my boyfriend over some stupid mistake. He would hate us both. Do you want to lose everyone you love?"

"Ok we just let this go and say nothing."

"I got to get to class I'll see you later." She said.

Seeing her after that kiss made me feel things I shouldn't be feeling. I've always liked Myra. I saw her in school and wanted to ask her out, but Gabe had asked her first. I stepped to the sideline and was just her friend. Now after that kiss I don't know if we could go back to that.

Maybe I should just move out. I just don't know if I can handle being around her every day. Seeing them together. I can't look at Gabe knowing what I've done. Hell, I can't look at him when I think I'm falling in love with his girl. I don't know how or when I just know that it's happened. I'm in love with Myra.