Chapter 9 Guilt in Silk Sheets

That was the best sleep I'd ever had.

Maybe it was the bed the kind that cradled you in all the right places, like it had been made to erase the memory of hard mattresses and broken springs. Maybe it was the quiet the sort of quiet you only found in moneyed places where nobody shouted outside your window or honked their car at 5 a.m.

Or maybe it was the fact that for the first time in a very long time, I didn't feel like I was drowning.

I stretched, yawning as the silk sheets slid off my body, and turned to check my phone.

Six missed calls. All from Nana.

My heart dropped. I sat up straight and dialed immediately.

She answered on the first ring. "Ivy?"

"Nana, what happened? Is Ella okay? Are you okay?"

"I'm fine. She's fine, my baby," Nana's voice softened, but there was something underneath it worry laced with disbelief. "But Ivy... I know you promised, but putting yourself in debt to get us all this? It's not good either."

My brows pulled together. "What are you talking about?"

"Two men showed up this morning. Nice men. In black suits. They said they worked for your... company. Ivy, they brought a transfer letter for Ella-to Saint Eloise Academy. Do you know how much that school costs?"

I blinked, my throat dry.

"They brought her uniforms, school bags, lunch bags... brand-new books. Everything. And Ivy, they didn't stop there. They brought groceries. So many that I had to call the neighbors to help move them in. And then..." Her voice wavered. "Thirty vials of my insulin, Ivy. Thirty. I don't even know where to store it all."

Tears prickled the corners of my eyes. I swallowed them back and slipped into the lie like a second skin.

"I-uh-I got a new job," I said, voice calm but practiced. "As an assistant. My boss is really generous. He covered the school transfer. There's also some medical benefits, which helped with the insulin. The groceries were... from my upfront pay. I know it's not much, Nana. But please just manage it for now."

There was a pause on the other end. "Not much?" she scoffed, half-laughing. "There's barely enough room to keep all this! Ella is beside herself. She hasn't stopped jumping since morning. Ivy, we're... we're lucky to have you."

Lucky.

I ended the call soon after, with Nana praying blessings into the phone while I sat there, overwhelmed by a kind of guilt that luxury couldn't cushion.

I didn't even realize I was crying until I wiped under my chin and my hand came away damp.

I needed to find him.

I padded barefoot across the pristine floors, through high-ceilinged halls and cold marble. One of the maids pointed me upstairs.

He was in his office.

The door was slightly open.

He stood by the window, shirtless, a mug in hand and his back to me. His tattoos stretched over his toned muscles like artwork come to life. There was something still about him-like he was waiting for the world to bring him another reason to burn it down.

I knocked gently.

He turned, and his face softened instantly when he saw me. "Morning, princess. Sleep well?"

I walked in slowly. "I just got off the phone with Nana."

His eyes sharpened slightly.

"You did all that?" I asked. My voice cracked. "The school? The groceries? The insulin?"

Asher set down his mug and stepped toward me. "You're my girl. That's the least I can do."

I blinked back tears.

"You don't have to thank me," he added softly, cupping my face. "Your only job now is to wake up happy, be spoiled, and let us give you the world. You shouldn't have to worry about anything."

I wanted to argue. I wanted to remind him that nothing in this world came free. That I'd signed away my body for it. That I was still a mess inside. That guilt was gnawing at me like a rat in a dark attic.

But instead, I whispered, "Thank you."

His thumb brushed under my eye, catching the last tear. "You're worth it, Ivy."

And somehow, I believed him.

Even if I didn't think I deserved it.

As I turned to leave, his voice stopped me in the doorway.

"If you ever need more... just ask. I'll move mountains if I have to."

I nodded slowly and returned to my room.

I slipped back into my room and shut the door behind me with a soft click.

The silence pressed in immediately too thick, too pristine, too different from the chaos I'd always known.

I stood there for a moment, staring at the glossy floors, the elegant decor, the extravagant bed I'd just climbed out of feeling like I didn't belong, like I was a glitch in someone else's dream.

My heart was full... but also heavy.

I thought about Nana's voice on the phone soft and cracking, overwhelmed with gratitude. I remembered how excited Ella had sounded in the background, squealing over her new books, screaming about her uniforms and her "princess backpack." My little sister had always made do with so little, yet never complained. And now she'd be walking into the best private school in the city like she belonged there.

Because of me.

Because of him.

A lump formed in my throat. I sat slowly on the edge of the bed and stared at my hands these same hands that had scraped dishes, folded laundry, wiped blood from Grandma's lips during her worst nights.

Now they were manicured and trembling.

What have I done?

I'd let three men touch me in ways no one ever had. I'd let them claim me. Use me. Worship me like I was something sacred when all I'd ever known was the feeling of being disposable.

I felt... dirty.

But also... free.

I reached for my phone, half-thinking about calling Nana back-just to hear her laugh again, just to make sure none of this was a dream.

That's when the alert came in.

$100,000.00 credited to your account.

I stared at the screen.

Then blinked.

Then stared again.

One hundred thousand dollars.

Not a loan.

Not a promise.

Cash.

I scrambled into my banking app, heart pounding, breath shaking.

It was real.

The balance stared back at me, mockingly beautiful. My debts gone. All of them. The overdue bills, the loan sharks, the bounced checks. Everything that had kept me up at night.

Gone.

In one transaction, I wasn't just breathing-I was alive.

I could afford anything now. A better apartment. A car that didn't cough every morning. Real healthcare for Nana. A future for Ella.

My fingers trembled as I lowered the phone. I leaned back against the headboard and stared at the ceiling.

I should've been ashamed. I should've been scared. But all I felt was... relief.

I could finally stop pretending to be strong all the time. For the first time in my life, I wasn't surviving I was living.

And it was because I gave myself to the devils who offered salvation with sinful hands.

I pulled the blanket over my chest, still holding my phone, still staring at that balance.

Then I whispered to the ceiling with a half-smile that felt more dangerous than anything I'd ever said:

"I'm ready. Really ready... to accept this life."

No more guilt.

No more doubt.

If this was the price of freedom, then I'd wear the collar with diamonds.