Chapter 2

Nicole followed me outside, her anger radiating off her even in the cold night air.

"What the hell was that, Ethan?"

"What was what?" I asked, pulling out a cigarette. I didn't even smoke. I just needed something to do with my hands.

"Your little 'encore' comment! You were trying to embarrass me!"

"Embarrass you?" I took a long drag, the smoke burning my lungs. "You kissed your ex-boyfriend in front of a room full of our friends. I think you handled the embarrassment part all on your own."

Ryan came out then, putting a protective arm around Nicole. "Hey, man, it was just a joke. Everyone was drunk. You're being way too sensitive."

This was the script. This was the part where I was supposed to lose my mind, to start yelling, to get hysterical. We' d have a massive fight that would last for days, a cold war of silence, and then, eventually, I would apologize just to make it stop. I would be the one to crawl back, begging for forgiveness for my "overreaction."

But the script was different tonight.

I looked at them, standing there together under the porch light. They looked like a couple.

"You know what? You're right," I said, my voice flat. "You two should get a room, make a night of it."

Nicole' s jaw dropped. She was completely thrown. This wasn't in the script.

I flicked the cigarette into a puddle. "I'm going home."

I left them standing there, a perfect picture of indignation and confusion. I walked to my car, got in, and drove away. I didn't look back. The whole way home, the only thing I felt was a profound sense of exhaustion. It was a bone-deep tiredness that had been building for six years.

And in the quiet of my car, on the empty city streets, I realized something with absolute clarity. The desperate, anxious, all-consuming love I had for her, the love that had defined my entire adult life, was gone. It hadn't just faded. It had died, right there in that silent, crowded room. The tank was finally, completely empty.