Chapter 9 CONTAINING A DIFFICULTY.

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It is a common belief among those who are more religious than wise, that a man never catches a cold going to church of a wet Sunday, or being baptized in midwinter. I am myself of opinion, the belief of such good people to the contrary notwithstanding, that many devout persons, by wading to church in the slush, or washing out their sins in snow-water, have gone to heaven much sooner than they expected. In the same way, and on the same principle of distrusting all miraculous interposition of Heaven in cases where human reason is sufficient for our protection, I have my doubts in the truth of another maxim of great acceptation in the world,-namely, "that a man never grows poor by giving." I believe, indeed, that the charity of a discreet and truly conscientious man never injures his fortune, but may, in many instances, actually tend to its increase; since the love of benevolence may stimulate him to new labours of acquisition, that he may have the greater means of doing good. But I am also of opinion, and I think it may be demonstrated by a good accountant, that a man who has a revenue of a thousand a year, and bestows fifteen hundred in charity, will, in due course of time, find himself as poor as his pensioners. When a man hath a goose with golden eggs, whatever he may do with the eggs, he should take great care of the goose.

The reader may infer from these remarks, that my philanthropy was as little profitable to my pocket as it proved to my person; and such indeed was the truth. I am of opinion I should myself, in a very few years, have consumed the whole estate of Zachariah Longstraw, ample as it was, in works of charity. How much faster it went with my nephew and my friend Abel to assist me, may be imagined. My nephew became a very dragon of charity, and dispensed my money upon such objects of pity as he could find (for he soon began to practise the profession upon what Abel called his own hook), with a zeal little short of fury; so that, to supply his demands, I was sometimes obliged even to stint myself. Had Abel Snipe been equally profuse, there is no saying how soon I might have found myself at the end of my estate. But Abel Snipe was a jewel; his charity was great, but his conscientiousness was greater; he had ever a watchful eye to my good; and his solicitude to husband and improve my means kept his benevolence within the bounds of discretion.

But, notwithstanding all his care, Abel perceived that our philanthropy was beginning to eat holes into my possessions; and coming to me one day with a long face, he assured me, that, unless some means were devised to increase my income, we should soon find ourselves driven to resort to the capital.

"Verily, and of a truth," said I, not a whit frighted at this communication, "and why should that chill us in the good work, Abel Snipe? Of a surety, all that I possess, is it not the property of the poor?"

"Verily," said Abel, "verily and yea; but if we betake us to the capital, verily, it will happen that sooner or later it shall be consumed, and nothing left to us wherewithal to befriend the afflicted. I say to thee, Zachariah, thy wealth is, as thou sayest, the property of the poor; and it becomes thee, as a true and faithful servant thereof, to see that it be not wasted, but, on the contrary, husbanded with care and foresight, and put out to profit, so that the single talent may become two, and peradventure three; whereby the poor, as aforesaid, shall be twice, and, it may be, thrice benefited."

"Thou speakest the words of sense and seriousness," said I, struck by the new view of the case. "But how shall this happy object be effected? What shall we do, Abel Snipe, to make the one talent three, and thereby increase our means of doing good?"

"Thee nephew Jonathan," said Abel Snipe, with a look of devout joy, "is now a changed man, a man of seriousness and virtue, a scorner of vain things, and a giver of alms-a man whom we can trust. I say to thee, Zachariah, thee shall establish thee nephew in a gainful business, and he shall make money; thee shall give him what is thee property for his capital, remaining theeself but as a sleeping partner: and thus it shall happen that thee capital shall be turned over three times a year, producing, on each occasion, dividends three times as great as now accrue from thy investments: and thus, Zachariah (and verily it is pleasant to think upon), where thee now has a thousand dollars of revenue, thee shall then have nine; and where thee now relieves nine afflicted persons, thee shall there-upon relieve nine times nine, which is eighty-one."

I need not assure the reader that this proposition of Abel's fastened mightily upon my imagination, and that I was eager to embrace it; and Jonathan coming in at the moment, I repeated the conversation to him, assuring him that, if he thought himself able, with Abel's assistance, to undertake such a business, he should have my money to begin upon instanter, and marry the maiden Ellen into the bargain.

"Nay, verily," said Jonathan, "I will not marry, and I will not do this thing whereof thee speaks. Uncle Zachariah, thee may think me light of mind thus to speak of Ellen Wild, who is much lighter; but, of a surety, I find the spirit moves me to regard her as one not to be regarded any longer. In the matter of the money-making, I say, let Abel Snipe be thy merchant, or whatsoever it may be thee has determined on; for Abel Snipe is a good business man, and he knows how to make money. He shall have my advice and assistance, as far as may be in my power. But, truly, my thoughts now run in the paths of the unfortunate; and thither let my footsteps follow also."

To this proposal the faithful Abel, with tears in his eyes (for he was moved that Jonathan should express such confidence in him at last), demurred, averring that it would be better, and more seemly, for Jonathan himself to undertake the affair, he, Abel Snipe, giving help and counsel, according to his humble ability. Jonathan objected as before, and again declared that Abel, and Abel alone, was, as he expressed it, "the man for my money." In short, the two young men, now the best friends in the world, contested the matter, each arguing so warmly in favour of the other, that it was plain the thing could never be determined without my casting vote, which I, seeing that Jonathan was positive, and bent upon a life of virtue, gave in Abel's favour, and it was resolved accordingly that Abel should be made the money-maker.

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