Chapter 2 Tamsin's POV

"Elara, stop-seriously!" I try to snatch the cleaning cloth out of her hand, but she's twirling with it like it's a flag and she's just won the Luna Olympics.

Yesterday, we both found out I was Alpha Nox's long awaited fated mate. I've had this gut feeling in my chest since then, especially as he didn't react in an encouraging way.

I also haven't been able to rest knowing that Zara is going to be heartbroken now because it means he'd have to give her up for me.

Would she want to be given up? Would he want to give her up?

I don't know and I'm very bothered.

But Elara?

She's been over the moon like she's the one mated to him.

"No, you stop pretending like this isn't the biggest thing to ever happen in this pack!" she giggles, practically dancing across the hallway. "Tamsin, you-sweet, pretty little you-are mated to Alpha Nox. THE Alpha Nox. I mean, the man literally paused mid-scowl to stare at you like you were a goddess come to life."

I blush, heat rushing to my cheeks. "It wasn't like that."

"It was exactly like that. And don't think I haven't told Sara from the kitchen. And Lena from laundry duty. And maybe the butcher's boy."

"Elara!"

She grins sheepishly. "News this good isn't meant to be kept secret."

I don't want to admit it, but for the first time since yesterday, I let myself feel a flutter of hope.

People smile when they see me now. They whisper behind hands and nod at me with something close to approval. Some even bow slightly. It's terrifying and wonderful and overwhelming all at once.

I'm just me. The girl who dusts shelves and folds towels. Not Luna material. But still... the bond is real. I felt it. He felt it too.

Maybe this is the beginning of everything changing.

Then, just after noon when we've concluded our duties, a messenger approaches me with a stiff bow.

He looks timid, like he wouldn't have talked to a girl if he wasn't asked to.

"The Alpha would like to see you in his office." He tells me and stays only long enough to be sure I heard every word he said.

My breath catches.

He wants to see me?

Elara grabs my arm the moment the messenger leaves. "Go," she whispers urgently. "He's probably going to kiss you. Or claim you. Or both. Oh my goddess, wear lip balm!"

I roll my eyes, but my heart pounds all the way up the stairs to his office. I have never been in a closed space with him before, and now with the bond...I can't even think.

My hands tremble as I raise them to knock on the dark oak door.

"Come in," his voice calls.

I hesitate a little, feeling my hands shake with enthusiasm? Fear? Both?

But I try to shake the emotions off and push way through the door and into his office.

He's standing by the window, back to me. The room smells like citrus and leather and... him.

My wolf stirs instantly. "He sure smells nice, don't you think?" she asks smugly, and I ignore her.

Not because I want to, but because I have forgotten how to function temporarily.

"Alpha," I say awkwardly, unsure if that's the appropriate title to use now.

He turns ever so slowly and when his hazel eyes flick to mine for a moment-just a moment-they soften.

My heart jumps.

He walks toward me, unhurried, and his gaze never leaves mine. It's a fight to keep my eyes on his molten gaze, but even when I try to look away, something stops me from pulling through with it.

His eyes get closer and closer and I have to crane my neck up to follow them and...oh?

I didn't notice how close he'd gotten to me. There's only a single thread of distance between us.

His hand reaches up-barely grazing the bare skin of my arm. It's a gentle, almost reverent touch, and it sends shivers down my spine.

He traces a line from my shoulder down to my wrist, his fingers slow and deliberate. My breath catches.

His other hand rises, threading through a lock of my hair. He leans closer, breathing me in like he can't help himself.

My heart pounds so loud, I'm sure he can hear it. I tilt my head, eyes fluttering shut. His lips are just a breath away from mine.

His breath fans my face and our lips graze. The mild connections sends jolts through my body. Sweet, delicious jolts that curl my toes. However, just when I expect him to take it further, he pulls away from me.

The movement is so abrupt, that it takes out the warmth that had built between us.

When I open my eyes, he's already stepped back, and his face is set like stone.

"What-?" I whisper, confused.

He doesn't answer right away. He instead puts a mile of distance between us, like standing too close to me is dangerous.

"So this is what it feels like," he says finally, voice clipped. "Fated mating bonds."

Relief washes over me, hearing him acknowledging the bond. I take a step forward. "I-"

"But it changes nothing."

I stop short in my tracks, unsure I heard him correctly.

"What?"

When his eyes meet mine and they're emotionless, devoid of the softness from just seconds ago. "You and I cannot go through with the mating."

The words slam into me like a blow and my mind tries to process them even though I already know what it means.

"I-I don't understand. You said you felt it-"

Kira howls on the inside, desperately trying to claw her way out of me.

"I did," he says. "But feelings mean nothing in this world. Bonds aren't always right. They aren't always... convenient."

Convenient?

"You're rejecting me?" My voice comes out small, fragile.

His jaw tightens. "Yes."

The single syllable cracks something inside me.

"Why?" I whisper.

He looks at me like the answer should be obvious. "You're not Luna material."

What?

The silence that settles between us is suffocating.

I can't breathe. I can't move. I can't think. I'm just... hollow on the inside.

"You're just a house girl," he continues, as if he's already moved on from the pain he's just inflicted. "Sweet, obedient, invisible. The Luna must be strong. Commanding. Respected, and that's not you, Tamsin."

I stagger back like he's struck me. "But I-"

"This discussion is over." He growls. I can see something in his eyes. Pain, maybe?

Why is he hurting us? Why is he doing this if it's hurting us?

"I reject you as my mate." His voice isn't sharp, but it isn't soft either as the words leave his lips.

My world shatters with blind unearthly pain, and I gasp, clutching my chest.

But I'm in too much pain to even dwell on anything else. It feels like my wolf, Kira, is digging her way out of me.

The bond isn't completely severed, but I feel it slowly begin it's process of burning out. The pain...I can't breathe.

My entire body is on fire.

Tears blur my vision. My chest tightens as I turn and rush out, barely making it to the hallway before I collapse against the cold stone wall.

The sobs come hard and fast, each one tearing through me like a storm. My heart aches, a physical pain in my chest that won't stop.

He rejected me...I've been...I've been rejected?

I'm not Luna material, he said. I'm house maid material...omega. Is he ashamed of it? Or is it just his excuse for not wanting to drop Zara for me?

Did I really think he'd drop Zara for me?

I manage to pick myself up from the ground and make my way to my room in the omega quarters.

I don't run into anyone I know on the way, thankfully. It's better to keep this rejection to myself until he's ready to make public of it. For the meantime however, I'm just going to bury myself or whatever is left of me.

And that's what I do.

I don't leave my room for three days.

I can't.

Everything hurts.

Elara tries to coax me out, knocking on my door with food and gossip and gentle words, but I pretend I'm asleep until she gives up.

I know she assumes that whatever happened in Nox's office was too much for my body to take and I'm crashing out...in a good way.

What happened was too much for my body to take alright? I'm breaking apart from the inside.

On the fourth day, I force myself to rise. My limbs feel heavy. My heart feels worse. I move like a ghost through the corridors, and I'm sure I look like one.

When I make it down to the kitchens, Elara gasps and pulls me into a tight hug. "You're alive."

"Barely," I mumble.

She pulls back, grinning. "Well, you came back just in time. Alpha Nox is making an announcement tonight."

I freeze. "What kind of announcement?"

She winks. "Isn't it obvious? He's going to tell everyone you're his mate."

My stomach drops.

"Elara-"

"Don't even try to ruin this," she says, fluffing my hair. "You've been chosen by the goddess. He just needed time to wrap his thick Alpha brain around it."

I say nothing.

Because deep down, I know better.

He's announcing his rejection of me.

That evening, the entire pack gathers in the courtyard. The sun dips low, casting golden light over everyone.

It would have been a magical sight if it wasn't a nightmare of an evening for me.

I'm perched in a quiet corner, away from the evening sun and away from the eyes of everyone.

I spot Elara in the crowd, her eyes looking everywhere for me, I guess.

She's not the only one. I see Sarah, I see Lena...I see practically almost every one scanning the crowd for me and wondering why Zara is by Nox's side and not me.

Isn't it obvious already?

"Lunaris," Nox begins, voice strong. "Tonight, I make official what many have long suspected." He pauses briefly, looking around and his eyes meet mine even from the shadows where I am hidden.

"I will take Zara as my mate and Luna." He announces, his eyes still on mine. This draws the attention of the crowd to me, as they follow his gaze.

Gasps ripple through the crowd.

I don't feel anything save for the pain in the tug in my chest as a part of the bond breaks away.

I see the pain in his eyes too until he snaps them away from me.

He goes on, talking about strength and unity and tradition-but I don't hear a word of it. My ears are ringing. My vision blurs.

Zara smiles like she's already Luna and her hands nestle intimately on his chest.

I guess she practically is Luna now, right?

And me?

I slip away from the gathering and make my way back to my room to break silently.

Rejection hurts like a bitch, I guess.