Chapter 3 THE SUFFOCATING SILENCE

Within months, Edward had turned into a full-blown, tenacious and obstinate womanizer. Fortunately for him, his father's stored-up wealth was backing his almost drowned finances. He no longer lived with his soon-to-be ex-wife, so this gave him the liberty to drink as he wanted to, party and sleep around like a Casanova without having to worry about coming home to Jennifer's boring talks about his sudden change in behavior.

He paid attention to his digital and tech business in the day but toured countries with exclusive bars and clubs at night, meeting a class of sexy and appealing ladies with bodies like goddesses. For all he cared, this was what life was all about, being able to deal with his financial responsibilities and satisfying himself as he pleased without caution.

Jennifer, on the other hand, was never officially fired from working at Edward's company, but she knew deep down that her presence was no longer needed. The young female clerks and workers at the office who had been envious of her marriage to their boss, Edward, now had the liberty to make open mockery of her.

She was also not recognized at board meetings, no special project was given to her to manage either. No sponsored business trips and vacations anymore. Edward wasn't paying any attention to her and still kept her in the dark about whether their divorce was going to affect their partnership at work. She was locked up emotionally.

She was going crazy trying to think of what to do with her life. Since her graduation from college, her life has been built on Edward's own foundation. It never occurred to her that her marriage to Edward would come to an end. It never occurred to her that all her life was tied to Edward's promises and achievements.

Jennifer felt more than drained. Every day she would wake up from sleep and struggle to get out of bed to find some motivation for her current ghost life. Sleep was a myth to her now. There was no kind of pill she had taken to enable her to fall asleep and make her forget this thing called life.

Unlike Edward and her late mom, she didn't give in to heavy drinking. She lived on pills... pills for migraines, antidepressants, sleeping pills, antianxiety medications and many more.

"I'll just keep taking these pills until my liver and kidneys give in to their side effects", she said aloud, and gave a weak chuckle at the thought of this. She looked at herself in the mirror and laughed out even more. She had always had the body of a model. Her dark skin glowed under the sun with her jet-black natural afro that she always wore with pride. Many young ladies admired her body, her skin, her simplicity and her bold and beautiful face, who wore no makeup except on very rare occasions. These were the things Edward loved her for.

Staring at herself in the mirror now, she even wondered what Edward saw in her. She looked like a typical destitute. Her hair was so ruffled, and she had not felt the surface of a comb next to it for months now. She hadn't taken a proper shower except for the days when she filled her tub with some supposed healing ointment that a yoga instructor had prescribed for her. The joggers which she wore now were once her favorite because they brought out every curve her hips and kegs carried. But now she looked emaciated, like an HIV patient who was not receiving care.

"Ughhhhh" she heaved a sigh of one who had lost a fight. She was just a pictorial version of the ghosts she watched on TV as a child. Oh! Her childhood! The sweet memories she had growing up. They were her hiding place in the midst of all these waves of emotional crisis.

Never had she imagined that love could go sour. Growing up, her parents had lived in peace and togetherness before her father chose not to return one day. Even though he was often away on business trips, he would always spend time with her once he came back to South Africa where they lived. Her home was a peaceful place she loved to be in. There was never a day she came home to see her parents exchange blows or bark like dogs to the hearing of the whole neighborhood. But now she was experiencing this in her own marriage.

Her parents were not extravagant in wealth, but they were very satisfied and content. She, in particular, had everything she wanted growing up as an only child.

"Could it be that this is what the wealthy couples she knew growing up and the ones she saw in the movies went through too and only covered it up with their money so that people wouldn't see through?" she thought within herself and scoffed while walking back to her bed from the mirror that she had stood before for hours.

"For how long would I continue to drown in misery? "Edward had definitely played on me, but should that be the reason for my downfall?" she thought to herself quietly as tears flowed down her eyes.

"My marriage is definitely not the first to fail. "I'm not the first woman to be blinded by lust in the form of love, so why should I be punished for my innocence?"

The remaining weeks before the divorce papers were to be signed, Jennifer made up her mind to be rejuvenated. She read books, went for counseling and resorted to healthy activities to keep her from thinking about her unhappy state, including therapy.

Edward had not completely seized all her bank cards, so she still had access to some money and decided to treat herself to the best restaurants, visit spas and the exquisite hotels that some of their business partners lodged in that she had always admired but never got to have a taste of their top-tier room services and food.

"At least I'll get to enjoy life one last time"...