Chapter 9 KISS AND RUN

HU:

Last night was literally one of the worst for me. I could barely sleep after I opened my big mouth. How can I sleep when Ginger is walking around with the thought that I have feelings for her? Yes, I do, but she isn't supposed to know-not like this. In fact, never. Caspian would end my life if he knew, and I'm not ready to lose years of friendship.

The entire night, I watched her window like a police guard on patrol. She doesn't want me around, and I know it's wrong to even think about sneaking in at midnight, but a part of me wants to.

**

The buzz of my alarm pulls me awake, letting me know I finally got some sleep. The first thing I do as I stand is look out the window. Hers is still shut-she is really standing on business. I let out a sigh, then quickly dress for school, rushing downstairs to have my breakfast before the entire family makes it to the dining room.

"Leaving so early?" Mother asks, and I roll my eyes, planting her 'compulsory good morning kiss' on her cheek as I make my way out of the room.

"Do not forget to take your medications!" she yells like I'm some kid.

Well, I need to be reminded sometimes because I hate it. I hate my life in general, but the good thing is I have been clean for a couple of months - no drugs or weed. That way, I remain on the hockey team, with my grades at an average level.

As soon as I roll my car out of the gates, I spot Ginger sitting on the stairs outside the house with her phone in hand. My mind itches to know why she is so engrossed in it. Could she possibly be texting him?

As soon as she looks in my direction, I speed off, making my way to school with a thousand thoughts attacking my mind. I have to confront her, no matter how much I hate to.

For minutes, I hang around in the hallway, waiting for Ginger, and as soon as I see her walking through the door, I step into the janitor's closet, holding the door slightly open. I watch as she makes her way toward me, and once she is within my reach, I pull her in. I put a hand across her mouth, watching her eyes widen in shock as I press her back against the wall. Slowly, I slide my hand away from her.

"What the hell?" she asks, and I pull back, taking a deep breath as I run a hand through my hair.

"Look, I'm just going to go straight to the point."

She raises a brow as I say this.

"Yesterday, my conversation with Ruby..."

"Was a lie," she cuts me off, and I press my lips into a hard line with a nod.

"I get it, Hu. You said it to get her to leave you alone. You are not capable of love, and I know that."

As she speaks, my eyes are drawn down to her juicy lips, and all I can think of is claiming them to wipe away whatever effect Caspian has on her, but I try to ground myself.

"Cool, cool, cool," I say, and she rolls her eyes, adjusting her shirt, which hugs her body perfectly, accentuating her fully rounded bosoms-ones I would give anything to feel once more.

Focus, Hu.

"What now?" she asks, and I realize I must have spoken out loud.

"Nothing. I'm glad we have come to a common understanding."

She scoffs, crossing her arms. "Right. So, are we done here?"

She moves to step past me, and something inside me snaps. Maybe it's the way she looks at me like I don't matter, or maybe it's the way she assumes I can't feel, and that I'm incapable of love. I act without thinking, gripping her wrist and pulling her back before she can escape. Her body slams into mine, and before she can protest, my lips crash against hers. She stiffens at first, but for a second, her warm lips move against mine before reality kicks in, and she presses her hands to my chest, pushing me away.

My heart hammers against my chest as I look into her eyes, unsure of what they hold-regret, anger, or disgust?

"What the hell, Hu?" she breathes, wiping her lips like she's trying to erase me.

"Shit," I curse, and she turns on her heel, opening the door and rushing out before I can speak.

For a moment, I lean my back against the door, wondering what I have become. I slap my forehead, repeating the words, "She is just a girl," but it barely sinks in as my mind keeps replaying every intimate moment.

I want her. Fuck.

For a minute, I try to collect myself in order to face the happy crowd of students with their ear-bugging chatter while silently dying with the fact that I love a girl who is out of reach.

"Why are you so stupid!" I scream at myself for choosing her out of all the girls in school.

Maybe I should get back to Ruby and actually have sex with her. I am probably too attached because Ginger is my first. No one knows this, and I let everyone assume I fuck around with girls. When I hear the rumors of how I fucked a girl and dumped her, I let it be because I have way too many life problems than to debunk rumours. I said those things to Ginger that night because I assumed she was Ruby, and the last time we tried sex, I ended up using my fingers on her.

After a while of contemplating, I finally step out of the closet. The first thing I spot is a crowd of students up ahead.

"Oh my gosh, we can finally play hockey," a girl among a group of girls says, and I pause for a moment, unsure if I heard right.

Girls playing hockey in Shadow Pelt High?

Just when I think things couldn't get worse, I spot Caspian with his arms snaked around Ginger's waist.

"So, will you come for the tryouts today?" he questions, and she nods sheepishly, pressing her lips against his, sending a jabbing sensation to my chest.

Ginger playing hockey? Exactly what I need to be the death of me at the moment.