Chapter 7 I DON'T DESERVE HIM

HU:

I should've never come to this stupid get-together after what happened between Ginger and me. But what excuse could I possibly give Caspian? Oh, I had sex with your girlfriend, so I won't make it. Fuck. I'm screwed, and I knew it the second Ginger walked through that door.

It's unlike me to think about a girl twice. I've got enough life problems without adding her to the list. But she's everywhere in my mind. For the past twenty-four hours, I've barely thought about my father-just Ginger. Her beautiful face. Her perfect body.

"Fuck," I sigh, running a hand through my hair as I pull open the back door and step onto the soft grass, the cool night air hitting my skin.

I thought maybe I'd get over this weird feeling twisting in my chest, but every time I see her, it flares up like wildfire. Watching Caspian's arm slung around her like she belongs to him... Wait, she does belong to him. But that only makes the strange energy coursing through my veins worse, urging me to rip his fucking hands off for touching her. Every time she laughs at something he says, every time he kisses her, I clench my jaw until my teeth ache.

She's doing something to me, and I have no idea how to control it.

It shouldn't bother me. She's just a girl. Casp is my best friend, and it's bros before hoes. But Ginger's no hoe.

She's mine.

I'm not insane. I try to convince myself, but I'm literally losing it.

"Should've brought a drink," I huff.

"Good thing I brought one."

I turn to see Ruby leaning on the sliding doors, a bottle of beer in her hand. She pushes off the frame and walks toward me.

"Here."

I take the bottle from her, holding her gaze for a moment before muttering, "Thanks."

I try to drown myself in the beer, but how could I when I'm in this mess partially because of Ruby? I should forgive her for what she did, but her presence just makes it worse.

"You seem off," she says quietly, like she's trying to sound innocent. It only pisses me off more. She disgraced me, but what was I thinking? That Ginger would kiss me in front of Casp after I've been a jerk to her?

"I'm fine," I mutter, bringing the bottle to my lips again and draining it.

We stand in silence for a moment before she closes the space between us.

"I know we may never be a thing, but I care about you, Hu." She cups my face, looking into my eyes, and her stare does nothing but disgust me. "This is literally the only thing that feels right, and I'd do anything to keep it."

She rises on her tiptoes and leans in to kiss me, but my reflexes kick in, and I turn my face away. She lowers back down, and I step back.

"I think we should head in," I say, but then she starts sniffling, and in no time, tears are streaming down her face.

"What? Are you fucking crying?" I ask, exasperated. She glares at me, and I run my hands through my hair, unsure of what to do.

"You'll never love me," she blurts out.

My brows crease. I can sense she's about to manipulate me. We never put a label on whatever this is. I made it clear I don't do girlfriends, so I don't know why she's making a fuss now.

"We had a deal, Ruby, and-"

"No. You more than hate me because you'll never have sex with me." My mouth snaps shut. "I've heard the rumors about you. I know you fuck around with girls, but you must feel something to be able to do that. But you-" her voice breaks-"you never want anything to do with me. When we kiss, it's cold, and..."

She pauses, swallowing hard.

"I've seen the way you look at her."

"Who?" I ask quickly, my heart racing.

"Ginger. You love her, don't you?"

GINGER:

I notice Hu walk out of the room, but I pretend not to care as Caspian grabs my hand, leading me out of the living room and up the stairs. My heart pounds, and before I can process what's happening, he scoops me into his arms, my hands flying around his neck.

"Put me down," I protest, but he doesn't budge. Instead, he tightens his grip and presses a kiss to my cheek as he climbs the stairs.

"Pretty ladies with strong boyfriends shouldn't use their feet," he teases, and I let out a soft chuckle to ease the awkwardness.

He stops in front of a door, opens it, and reveals a large bed in the center of the room. His walls are plastered with posters of hockey stars, which is expected.

He kicks the door shut with his foot, then gently places me on the bed, leaning in to capture my lips with a raw, rough hunger that has me tugging at his back as I wrap my legs around his waist. He nibbles on my lower lip, and I open up for him, our tongues intertwining. For a moment, everything else disappears. I feel my wolf howling, purring, wanting him.

A moan escapes my mouth into his, and he pulls back just enough to rest his forehead against mine. His hands glide up my waist, and he smiles against my lips. I'm a bit shy, but I tug at his shirt, and he pulls back to strip it off, revealing his perfectly toned body. My breath hitches as he closes the distance, and I run my hands over his hard chest. My body tingles, and I know my panties are a mess.

He smirks as he leans in, mashing his lips against mine again, and I clutch his shoulders like my life depends on it.

"You wore a skirt, huh?" His deep voice rumbles in my ear as he plants kisses along my neck, his hands sliding under my skirt to my inner thigh. My heart races with excitement as his fingers slip into my panties. When they meet my wetness, I grasp hard at his back as he rubs slow circles.

"Do you like it?" he whispers.

I nod shyly, burying my face in his neck. His thumb finds my clit, stroking it until my feet curl and my nails dig into his skin. He's slow and gentle, but it drives me crazy.

"Fuck," he growls, increasing his pace. His other hand slips under my shirt, cupping my breast, massaging it, and pinching my nipple just enough to make me gasp.

"I think I'm close," I whisper in his ear, guiding his fingers exactly where I need them. In no time, every nerve in my body tightens, and my orgasm crashes over me. I melt into his touch, my legs trembling.

Caspian keeps rubbing until he slides a finger inside me. It stings a bit, but my body adjusts enough, and my walls clench around his middle finger.

I'm getting into it until he whispers, "You're so tight and warm."

And just like that, Hu invades my mind. The barriers I'd put up between us shatter, and Caspian's kisses on my body feel numb as flashbacks from that night with Hu attack me.

"Tell me if it hurts," Caspian murmurs, sliding a second finger in. A sharp wince escapes my lips, and he immediately pulls back, cupping my face.

"I'm sorry," he whispers, and I feel guilt crawl back into my chest.

I press my hands to his chest, pushing him back as I sit up.

"It hurt... and I don't think I'm ready," I say. It's not a total lie, because I'm still sore from the night with Hu, but Caspian thinks it's because I've never had sex.

"Okay, okay," he repeats, stroking my the back of my palm as he sits beside me, pulling me close. "We don't have to rush into anything."

I look into his eyes, and it makes me feel worse.

"What if I'm never ready?" I whisper.

"Then that's fine by me. I love you, Ginger, and this is just an addition."

I force a smile and lay my head on his lap, my eyes shut tight.

I don't deserve him.