Chapter 8 Because I love You

"Get up, Lorien," I pleaded, shaking him gently. "Please, baby, get up."

But he didn't move.

Panic gripped me. I scooped Lorien into my arms, cradling him against my chest. "Call an ambulance!" I screamed at Kael, my voice frantic.

But Kael didn't move. He just stood there, his face unreadable.

"Kael, do something!" I yelled, the desperation in my voice raw and pleading.

Finally, he moved. He fumbled with his phone and did whatever.

---

The hospital smells of disinfectant. The sterile white walls, the quiet whispers of nurses and doctors, it all faded into the background as I sat in the waiting room, my mind consumed by the image of Lorien's lifeless body.

I couldn't breathe. The fear, the dread, it was suffocating. The weight of the years, of the abuse, of the lies, they all pressed down on me like a heavy blanket.

And to cap it all, I'm about to lose a son.

I wanted to scream. To run. To take my children and never look back.

But where would I go?

I had nothing. No job. No savings. No home.

I had been out of work since the day I married Kael. He told me to resign as my symbol of obedience and submission to him, and with every passing day, it felt more like a mistake.

I had put everything into this marriage. I had invested my all into this marriage, my hopes, my dreams, and my future.

And now, I was nothing but a shell of who I once was.

I looked up to see a doctor standing in the doorway, his expression unreadable.

"He's stable," the doctor said, his voice professional but gentle. "We've cleaned the wound, but we'll need to monitor him for a while. He's unconscious, but it doesn't appear to be life-threatening."

I let out a breath I hadn't realized I was holding, the relief flooding through me like a wave.

"Thank you," I whispered, my voice shaky.

'Thank you, Doctor, ' I heard Kael's voice, making me realize he had been there with me all along.

****

Lorien was moved to the hospital room from the ER, he was still unconscious, his head bandaged in ways that made my heart break every time I looked at him.

I hadn't left his side since we arrived. I couldn't. How could I? How could I go back to a life that had allowed this to happen? I blamed myself.

Every single second. Every bruise, every broken bone, this was my fault.

I had let Kael turn our home into a battleground because I wanted to save my marriage, and I had let my son get caught in the crossfire.

I sat beside Lorien's bed, my hand gripping his, praying that he would wake up, that he would be okay. The guilt weighed on me like a ton of bricks, suffocating me.

What kind of mother lets this happen? What kind of woman stays in a relationship that harms her children? The thought gnawed at my insides, gnashing at my every thought.

"Lorien," I whispered. "I'm so sorry, baby. I'm so sorry I let this happen. It was all because of me. I should've protected you. I swear, I'll never let anyone hurt you again. Not ever."

His face remained still, too still, but I kept holding on as if my presence would be enough to bring him back to me.

It felt like time had slowed down in the hospital, stretching every minute until it felt like hours.

I couldn't remember how many days had passed, how many nurses had come and gone. I just stayed, staying with Lorien because I had no place else to go, no safe space to crawl into. I couldn't even bring myself to face the thought of what was happening at home, of Kael and his unpredictable anger.

I didn't know if he would show up here if he'd try to find us. But I wasn't thinking about him anymore. I was thinking about Lorien. And Azra. They were all that mattered now.

The first day he woke up, he was groggy and disoriented. I watched him blink up at the ceiling, his eyes searching the room as if trying to make sense of everything. And then, when his gaze finally landed on me, it softened.

"Lorien?" I whispered, afraid to disturb him too much, afraid he might slip away again. "Can you hear me?"

His voice was barely a rasp. "Mom?" he croaked.

"Yes, baby, it's me," I replied, my throat thick with emotion. I gently stroked his cheek. "I'm here, Lorien. I'm right here. You're going to be okay."

He nodded slowly, but his eyes were dull, distant. The trauma, I could see, was still there, still holding him captive. And as much as I tried to reassure him, as much as I tried to smile through my own tears, the guilt gnawed at me.

"I'm sorry, Lorien. I'm so sorry," I whispered, barely able to get the words out.

"Don't let dad hurt you anymore" he said as his eyes fluttered closed again, but this time, I thought I saw a small, almost imperceptible smile on his lips.

For the next few days, I never left his side. I didn't eat much and didn't sleep much. I was too afraid to close my eyes, too afraid that something might happen while I wasn't watching, while I wasn't there to protect him.

Every time I heard the distant sound of footsteps in the hallway, I would stiffen, my come to take us back to that hell called home.

But nothing happened.

The rate of Lorien's recovery brought a sense of normalcy, a quiet kind of hope that felt fragile but real. I knew we weren't out of the woods yet. Kael could still come for us. He could still tear this all apart with one angry outburst. But I didn't care anymore.

I was done being afraid. I had to protect my children, and I would do whatever it took to make sure they were safe.

I had made my decision. No matter what happened, no matter how difficult it would be, I was ready to fight for us.

Ready to fight for a life that didn't involve fear and pain. Ready to break free from the chains Kael had bound me with.

I wasn't just protecting Lorien anymore. I was protecting myself too.

And maybe, just maybe, that was the only thing that mattered now.

But how would I survive?

The thought of leaving terrified me.

How could I raise two children on my own? How could I survive without a job, without anything to fall back on?

I didn't have the answers.

But something inside me, something deep within, told me that I had no other choice.

I had to leave.

Dead or alive, I couldn't stay in this prison any longer.

In the days after Lorien was discharged from the hospital, Kael was his usual self, distant, cold, pretending like nothing had happened.

He was sitting at the dining table, flipping through a newspaper, as if the world hadn't just shifted beneath us. But I couldn't pretend anymore.

I stood in the doorway of the kitchen, watching him. I needed to talk to him. My hands clenched into fists, my jaw tight.

"Kael," I said, my voice steady, but my heart was pounding in my chest.

He didn't look up. "What?"

"We need to talk."

His head snapped up, his eyes narrowing. "Talk about what?"

"You need to stop. Stop treating me like this. Stop hurting me. Stop hurting Lorien and Azra. We can't keep living like this. Yes, I want a home. Yes, I love you, Yes, I want my own family, but this is none of it"

He put the newspaper down, his lips curling into a sneer. "So now you're going to lecture me? Is that it?"

"I'm not lecturing you, Kael. Look at what happened to Lorien, we almost lost him. We don't need all of those. We could live happily without your anger, ego, and insecurity getting in the way. I chose you Kael, I choose you over every guy out there to be my husband. Because I love you. You can't treat me this way and expect me to still be happy. I....

Smack! Kael's slap landed on my cheek, cutting my words off abruptly