Chapter 7 Don't hurt Mom

Lorien's voice broke through the chaos, small but piercing. "Stop yelling!"

We both turned to see him standing in the doorway, tears streaming down his face. Azra peeked out from behind him, her little hands clutching his shirt.

Kael glared at me one last time before storming out of the house, and slamming the door behind him.

That night, as I tucked Lorien and Azra into bed, the weight of the day pressed down on me like never before. Lorien clung to me as I smoothed his hair back, his tears soaking into my shirt.

"I'm sorry, Mommy," he whispered.

"You don't have to be sorry," I said softly. "None of this is your fault."

"But I made Daddy mad," he said, his voice trembling.

"No," I said firmly, pulling back to look him in the eye. "Daddy's anger is not your responsibility, Lorien. We are not the ones who are supposed to protect you. Do you understand me?"

He nodded slowly, but I could see the doubt in his eyes.

When I finally crawled into bed, Kael was already asleep, or at least pretending to be. I lay there in the dark, my mind racing.

The events of today played over in my mind

"God Lorien is becoming an abuser. I don't want that"

"Do I really want my children growing up believing that being abused or being an abuser is normal?

That it's something to tolerate, or worse, to inflict?" I thought as I lay beside Kael.

I had always dreamed of a happy home. A dream of raising them in a complete family filled with love and stability.

But this... this was not the life I envisioned. And the thought of my children carrying these scars into their future, of one day becoming abusers themselves, sent a chill through me.

I can't let that happen.

I need help.

I thought of Jarek's message, his offer of help. I thought of Lorien's words, the fear in his voice. And I thought of Azra, so small and innocent, caught in the middle of a life she didn't deserve.

I need to do something quickly

But the question was, did I have the strength to make it happen?

What will the world say if I leave?

******

The silence that settled over the house after the last incident was suffocating. I couldn't escape the tension, no matter where I went.

It had been two days since the meeting at school, and the tension between Kael and me had only grown. His words echoed in my head, accusing me of poisoning our son's mind, of turning him against him.

I didn't know what hurt more, the fact that he could say those things or that part of me had always known they were true because I made him witness and grow up in an unhealthy environment.

I hovered between anger and fear. Anger for Kael who still hasn't seen any reason why he's the one making Lorien become an unrepentant abuser.

Fear for myself, fear for my children. The same fear that had kept me quiet for so long, that had kept me from leaving.

Lorien hadn't spoken since the incident at school. He was suspended from school for two weeks. He'd kept to himself, more distant than usual. I caught him staring out of the window, his gaze distant, haunted.

Azra, on the other hand, seemed to have no idea what was happening. She clung to me, always asking questions, always wanting reassurance.

But how could I reassure her when I wasn't even sure of my own safety?

*****

It was late one evening when the storm hit again. Kael came home from work already simmering, his anger an invisible cloud that followed him through the door.

I knew something was coming. The signs were always the same, his clenched fists, the way his eyes narrowed when he looked at me, the low growl in his voice.

I tried to stay out of his way. Lorien and Azra were in the living room, their laughter echoing in the house, a stark contrast to the tension in the air. But that didn't last long.

"Nyra!" Kael's voice sliced through the house.

I turned slowly, dread coiling in my stomach. "What now?"

"What now?' he replied surprised.

"What did you tell your friend?"

"I didn't say anything to anyone"

'You want me to believe that?" he asked fiercely.

'Kael please, I......"

"Your friend has the nerve to challenge me, asking what I'm doing to you?" he snapped, his voice sharp as a whip.

"I didn't say anything" I pleaded

But before I could finish, Kael was already advancing on me, his face twisted with rage. He raised his hand, ready to strike, but this time, Lorien was standing between us before I could even react.

"Daddy, stop!" Lorien cried, his voice shaking with fear and defiance.

Kael froze for a moment, his eyes locking with Lorien's. There was something dark in his gaze, something I hadn't seen in him before.

"Lorien, move," Kael growled, his fists clenched at his sides.

"No!" Lorien stood firm, his small body shaking but resolute. "Don't hurt Mom!"

"Get out of the way, Lorien," Kael spat, his voice low and menacing.

But Lorien wouldn't budge. I saw it then, the raw, desperate love in his eyes, the need to protect me, even if it meant putting himself in danger.

"Please, Dad," Lorien's voice trembled, but there was no turning back now. "Please stop."

Kael's face contorted in fury. "You see what you have caused?"

Before I could react, Kael shoved Lorien aside, hard. My heart stopped as I watched Lorien stumble backward, his feet slipping on the floor. He crashed into the table nearby, his head hitting the edge with a sickening thud.

The room seemed to freeze. Lorien lay motionless, his body sprawled across the floor, a pool of blood slowly forming around his head.

"Lorien!" I screamed, rushing to his side, my hands trembling as I touched his face.

Kael stood there, with an empty stare.

"Get up, Lorien," I pleaded, shaking him gently. "Please, baby, get up."

But he didn't move.