Chapter 4 Shitfaced

"You're not just an a-hole, but an arrogant shit too... always thought so," Blair slurred, her tongue feeling too heavy in her mouth. She knew she shouldn't be saying this to her boss, but she couldn't stop herself.

Roman chuckled, leaning back. "I think I should get you some coffee."

"Don't want it." Blair waved a hand dismissively, nearly hitting herself in the face. "I want... a man that ain't a cheatin' rat." Her eyes drifted over him, and despite her best efforts, she noticed-really noticed-how attractive he was. "Did you... Did you ever cheat on your ex-wife?"

She'd met Jessica once. It hadn't been a pleasant experience.

Roman's expression didn't change, but his voice softened. "Not all men cheat, Blair."

"W-why'd she leave you then?" Her head tilted as if she were trying to piece together a puzzle.

"There are a lot of reasons marriages fall apart," Roman said, dragging a hand down his face. "Not all of them have to do with cheating on the man's part."

It took Blair a moment to process that. Then her eyes widened. "She cheated on you?" she whispered, as if it were some great secret. "Was she an idiot?"

Her boss was gorgeous, with his thick dark hair, intense eyes, and chiseled cheekbones. And his body... well, from what she could see, it was fine. Not that she'd ever been interested. She'd always been with Dan... Had been with Dan.

Roman reached over, gently lifting her chin with two fingers when her mouth fell open. "I worked a lot. Some would say I drove her to it."

Blair blinked at him, then shook her head, making herself dizzy. "Thass not an excuse... nope... no, no, no." She dropped her head back onto the couch, exhaling loudly. "Should get a divorce before that... cheaters... all of 'em..."

Roman studied her with an amused expression. "You know, this is the most I've ever seen you relax around me. Don't know if it's a compliment that you needed to get drunk first."

Blair lifted a hand lazily before waving what he said off. "Thass 'cause you're... you're normally soooo difficult to deal wit'," she muttered, barely able to get the words out.

"I won't apologize for that." His lips twitched. "I expect the best. That's why this company is where it is today."

Blair made a sound that was half a grunt, half a laugh. "Suppose so..." Her head felt heavy, her thoughts sluggish.

Roman let her sit in silence for a moment before asking, "What happened, Blair?"

She turned her head to look at him, her vision slightly unfocused. "I was an idiot."

"Why? Because you trusted the wrong person?"

Blair let out a shaky breath. "Dan an' I grew up together, y'know?"

"No, I didn't."

She nodded. "I... I was always going home... back home, all the time, when I moved to the city for this job. He... he got a job at Kingston's, and I was happy 'bout it. Now I wish he wasn't here." Her voice wobbled, but she refused to cry. Not again. Not for him... Dan.

"So, the wedding's off?" Roman gestured to her bare finger.

Blair lifted her hand, staring at it for a second before letting it flop back onto her lap. "Yep. We didn't even have a date set."

"Who was holding it up?"

She blinked at him. Why was he askin' so many questions? Why was he bein' so... nice? "Me. He wanted to get married last year. I wasn't ready."

Roman's eyes narrowed slightly. "Why? If you loved him, why did you want to wait?"

Blair shrugged, though it was a little sloppy. "If what I saw today was anythin' to go by..." She trailed off, frowning. Maybe... maybe she'd always known somethin' was off. There was no passion. No fire. She'd loved Dan, but maybe not the way she was supposed to love the man she was gonna marry.

Right now, she wasn't even sad. Just... Blair thought for a moment about how she felt... angry. Yes, she was angry.

"What happened?" Roman pressed, his voice gentler now.

Blair's face scrunched up as she remembered. "Saw him," she slurred. "W-with her. My cousin."

Roman's jaw tensed. "I see."

Blair stared at him for a long moment, her head swimming with thoughts she couldn't quite hold on to. Then, suddenly, she reached out, grabbing his tie between her fingers.

Roman froze.

Blair stared at the fabric, tracing the pattern with unfocused eyes. She didn't know why she did it. Maybe 'cause she needed to know. Needed to feel something different.

Without another thought, she pulled at the tie, closing the space between them, and pressed her lips to his.

For a heartbeat, he went still. Then... he responded, and when his mouth claimed hers, she felt heat that made her inhale sharply.

Blair gasped into his mouth, the shock of it searing through her. Her hands flew to his shoulders, gripping the fabric of his shirt, desperate to hold on to something solid.

This was different. So different. She had never...

Roman pulled back, breathing hard, his gray eyes dark with something unreadable. "Blair," he murmured, voice rough. "We shouldn't-"

She cut him off with another kiss, moving closer, leaning into him.

"Please," she whispered, her voice trembling.

She needed to forget.

And she wanted... to feel something that didn't hurt.