Chapter 6 Echoes of Desire-6

Shaking off the memories and restless, I rose from the floor and began to pace about the room. The low throb of a bike reached my ears, and I groaned. "Oh, God-not, now." I was still too raw-my defense's down.

"Hell," I grumbled to myself. I couldn't even lock the damn door and hide behind it, as it stood wide open, splintered. Drawing a breath, I stood motionless, listening. All too soon, I heard the thump of Nathan's boots as he stepped up on the porch, each step drawing him closer.

Finally, raising my head, I squared my shoulders, and drew another deep breath, before turning.

My eyes collided with Nathan's as he stood in the busted doorframe. He gazed in my direction, eyes inscrutable. Finally, he looked away from what had become a staring contest between us.

His gaze taking in his handy work, the lopsided, shattered, remains of the door, he shook his head. Turning, he made his way off the porch and headed toward his pickup.

As I watched, he went to the rear of the truck and lowered the tailgate before climbing into the bed. Picking up a ramp, he positioned it from the bed, down the tailgate until it reached the ground. Jumping back out, he made his way to his bike.

Kicking it to life, he drove it up the ramp, securing it in place once its front tire rested against the rear of the cab. Afterward, jumping out of the pickup's bed again, he shoved the ramp in beside the bike before shutting the tailgate. From there, and without glancing in my direction, he climbed into the cab of his pickup.

He sat for several minutes, gripping the steering wheel, his head resting on his hands. Finally, raising his head, he reached out and started the engine. Slowly, backing out, he turned the pickup to where the nose was pointed down my drive, and giving it gas, he headed down the drive's length.

~~

Sniffling, I wiped at the moisture in my eyes before jerking my head around at the sound of a motor, and peered toward Nathan's truck as it pulled back up my drive and came to a stop in front of the cabin again.

Climbing to my feet, I dusted off my knees and walked in his direction. I might as well meet him halfway, I decided, and see why he'd returned. As I approached, he didn't exit the truck, instead, he sat gazing in my direction, his eyes hidden behind his sunglasses. Finally, he hissed out the open window, "Dammit, you can't stay here without a door."

I shook my head. "I'll be fine-"

I began, only to have him interrupt my words. "Goddammit, stop being so fucking stubborn and let me help you. Hell, I'm the one who broke the fucker, so I need to be the person who replaces it!"

~~

Two hours later, my emotions were tested to their limits. Being around Nathan and not being able to express what I was feeling had killed me. The name, Brianna, in any dictionary right now, would mean idiot. Yet, I'd been unable to do anything but soak up every precious moment I'd received.

After we'd first entered the store we'd shopped for the door, then Nathan had suggested I pick out a living room suit while we were there.

In the end, I'd picked out a deep blue couch, love seat, and chair. From there, he'd steered me toward a dining room suite. Where, with a little arm-twisting, he'd talked me into a small oak kitchen table and chairs. Next, had come, a bedroom suite. We'd argued over the merits of king-size, versus queen-size mattresses, and of course, he'd won. A king-size mattress, complete with headboard and matching dresser, would now be stuffed into my bedroom.

At one point, a cherry wood rocking chair had caught my attention. The rocker had been of elegant design, breathtaking in its simplicity, and I'd gazed at it, my imagination running wild. I'd pictured myself rocking a black-haired, green-eyed baby to sleep in it each evening. However, at the image, a shiver of sadness had washed over me. It was a wish I now knew would never be fulfilled.

Finally, after dragging my gaze away from the rocker, I'd made my way toward the front desk to arrange for the delivery of the furniture.

Before I'd been able to make it out of the shopping center, though, I'd remembered I needed to stop at Bed, Bath & Beyond. There, I'd picked out sheets and pillowcases for my new bed, and a suede comforter that begged a person to climb beneath its downy softness. I'd also chosen a set of towels and washcloths, a shower curtain and liner, plus matching accessories.

When I'd thought I couldn't shop anymore, Nathan had pushed me toward another store. While we'd been in there, he'd helped me choose cookware, utensils, plates, glasses, and silverware. Now, my feet ached, my mind was weary, and the bed of Nathan's truck was full.

Finally, leaving the shopping center, we headed toward the cabin. Before we reached it though, we made one more stop, along the way to pick up Chinese takeout for supper.

We'd no more arrived home than the delivery trucks showed up. Carrying the plastic containers of food into the kitchen, I set them on the counter. Afterward, making my way back into the living room, I made decisions of where to cram everything.

Once the trucks were empty and pulling out of the drive, I stood staring around at the new furniture. I'd not had the funds to cover everything he'd insisted I'd needed, and he'd paid for what I couldn't, though only after a few hushed and heated words flying between us. I was still staring at everything when he brought in the first armload of purchases from the bed of his truck.

Glancing in his direction, I could see that something was on his mind. He was avoiding looking in my direction, busying himself setting the bags on the floor next to the couch, before turning he made his way back out the door.

Following, I grabbed an armload out of the pickup's bed myself, observing him as we made several more trips. I tried to draw him into a conversation, only to receive grunts or haphazard answers for my trouble.

Finally, I shrugged and gave up, falling silent.

After the last armload was in, Nathan hung the new door and put his tools away.

"Are you ready to eat something now?" I questioned.

He stilled, hesitating, finally when he glanced in my direction, I saw everything I needed to know on his face. With a woman's intuition, I knew he was going home, making it no surprise, when he shook his head. "No. I, uh...in fact, need to leave. I have something I need to take care of." Turning, he headed out the door without another word.

The next couple of hours passed as I put away items in the kitchen and bathroom, occupying myself, and refusing to let my mind wander.

Hunger pains finally drove me back into the kitchen, and placing a few of the takeout boxes in the microwave I heated them through. Sitting down at my new table, I began to eat my solitary meal.

A few minutes later, I was preparing to toss the almost untouched meal in the trash, when my cat, Thurston, came in through the open back door.

Instead of scraping my plate in the trash as I'd intended, I scraped the food into his food bowl.

Afterward, I moped around the cabin for another twenty minutes, before deciding I'd had enough, I made my way outside. I knew what I would see, but I had to settle the argument in my head. So, climbing in the pickup, I headed toward town.