Chapter 4 I'm Sorry For Failing

Chapter 4

Kira's

I grab the bag tighter, praying he doesn't push any further. My heart pounds in my chest like a drum. Come on, Kira. Think!

"What's in the bag, Ms. Ellington?" Gavin's sharp voice repeats, his eyes locked on me.

"Oh, uh..." I stammer, my hands trembling. "My, um, clothes."

Gavin raises an eyebrow, "Clothes?"

"Y-yes, my clothes. The ones I keep here, they're old. I thought, maybe I should buy new ones. In case something happens at work, like, coffee spilling on me... or something..." My voice trails off. Good one Kira, it seems believable.

His eyes narrow, and he steps closer. Too close. My breath hitches, my I look down, not wanting to look at his body. Especially as his top buttons are undone, showing his muscled chest. Heat rises to my cheeks.

"Why do you look like you didn't sleep last night?" He questions, staring at me like he's trying to figure something out, find out what I'm hiding.

"I-I slept. I mean, not really. I had an emergency last night. I didn't get much rest." I stutter, planting my gaze on the couch in his office.

He watches me for a moment longer, his gaze not wavering even for a second. Then, surprisingly, he steps back. "It's fine. You can go home."

My eyes widen. "Really? I can?"

"Don't make me change my mind, Ms. Ellington." He says, annoyance etched in his tone.

"Thank you. Thank you so much." I grab the bag and hurry out of the office, my footsteps light. Relief rushes through me, but only for a second. My smile disappears when I realize going home means I have to face Malcolm.

As I step outside, the cool air hits me, making me shiver. I climb into a cab and it drives me home in silence. I stare into the traffic the whole time, watching as people are succeeding in plans for their future, while I am a total failure.

Just as the cab drops me off, my phone buzzes.

Malcolm.

I stare at the screen for a moment, debating whether to answer. My thumb hovers over the phone, and then I drop it into my bag. It buzzes again-another message. This time I read it.

Hey baby, how are you? Did you get it? I hope you're with it now. Can't wait to see you later.

My stomach clenches. I don't respond. I can't. What can I even say? That I failed? That instead of getting the document, I slept with my boss?

A third message comes in just as I enter the house.

You must be busy at work. That's okay, just keep going. I'll pick you up later, or should I just meet you at home?

I set my phone down, flopping on the couch after dumping the bag on the table. I bury my head in my hands, trying to block out the guilt I feel. God why did I lose control?

Hours pass, but it feels like only minutes. I pick up my phone, my thumb hovering over his name for a few seconds. Finally, I type something and hit send.

I'm home. Left work early.

Malcolm responds almost instantly.

You should've told me. Be there soon.

I stand up, but my legs feel weak and I sit down immediately. I cross my legs, then seperate them. Standing up, I bite my nails, my eyes darting to the door every minute in fear of Malcolm walking in.

The door opens, and Malcolm steps in. His familiar smile lights up his face as he walks toward me, wrapping his arms around my waist. His lips brush against my neck, sending a shiver down my spine, but not in the way it used to. Now, it feels so wrong, and only I know why.

He kisses my skin softly. "Babe, are you okay? You seem off."

I quickly pull away. "I'm fine, Malcolm. Just tired."

He looks at me, his brow furrowing. "Come on, let's relax. I've missed you." He leans in closer, trying to capture my lips.

"No, Malcolm." I step back, putting space between us. "I told you... I'm not ready."

He sighs, frustration flashing in his eyes. "I'm sorry. It keeps slipping my mind."

But it's not about that anymore. It's not about waiting. It's about the fact that if we do anything now, he'll know. He'll know I'm not the virgin Kira anymore. He'll know that I cheated.

Malcolm notices my hesitation and sighs, pulling my hands in his. "I said I'm sorry. It's just hard, you know? But I'll wait. I promise."

I nod, my eyes staring at anything else except him.

"So..." he changes the subject, clearly trying to ease the tension. "Where is it? I need to take it in tomorrow."

Shit. The document.

I open my mouth, but no words come out. Malcolm's eyes furrow, sensing something's wrong. "Kira?"

"I... I don't have it."

"What do you mean you don't have it?" His voice rises, causing me to jump slightly. I focus my gaze on the floor.

"I tried, but Gavin was there... I couldn't get it. I'm sorry, Malcolm."

His expression darkens. "You were supposed to get it by any means. How could you fail something so important?"

"I... I don't know. I'm sorry."

He moves toward me, his face cold. "Do you have any idea what you've done? How many people were counting on this?" He raises his hand, and I flinch.

But then he stops, his hand dropping to his side. He takes a deep breath, closing his eyes. "I'm sorry. I just... I got carried away."

I can barely look at him, my heart pounding in my ears. "Were you going to hit me?"

"No," he says softly, placing his hands on my cheek. "No, I would never hit you."

Silence fills the room. The tension so thick it can be cut with a saw.

"You've really let me down, Kira. After everything... I can't believe you'd fail us like this."

I nod, too ashamed to speak. He grabs his jacket, walking toward the door. "I need to clear my head."

The door slams shut, and tears fill my eyes. I failed Malcolm and all those innocent people. Dang it.

Just as I'm about to collapse onto the couch, my phone rings again. Gavin's name flashes across the screen.

I answer, trying to steady my trembling voice. "Yes, sir?"

"Ms. Ellington, I'm going away for three weeks, so you'll be off duty. I expect you to rest and prepare for the upcoming business trip. We'll be traveling to Vegas for a month, and I don't need any screw-ups. If you mess up during this trip, I'll make you regret it."

I freeze. A month with Gavin? God no. My mouth goes dry, and I manage to whisper, "Yes, sir."

The line clicks off, leaving me in stunned silence.

How will I survive a month with him after what I've done?