Chapter 5 Give me a chance

CHAPTER 5

The other day I went to my first three classes.

Then I met up with Rajan and Shantai in the cafeteria. We sat at the usual table.

- So," Rajan began. - You are alive. Good to know. Thank you for answering our messages.

There were no cell phones in the Pantheon. A mail service sent our messages on paper. It only cost a few bronze coins.

Yesterday, I received several messages from both of them. They were not allowed in my dorm. So I was incommunicado.

I put my tray on the table.

- Sorry, guys. I wasn't feeling well.

- Oh, tell me about it - Shantai twiddled her fingers nervously. - How did it go with the captain? Did he devour your soul?

- Actually, he was not in the Pantheon. - I lied. - I couldn't find him.

Shantai and Rajan were my only friends in this life. I was not proud to lie to them - but how would I tell them the truth?

It was insane and embarrassing.

So, did I tell you the news? The creepy professor-psychopath is formally courting me. I think he has given up on killing me and now wants to date me. We plan to get married and have beautiful soul-eating babies. Yay.

- It's better this way. You need to think better. Confronting the soul eater face to face was stupid. You would have lost anyway.

I opened my bottle of juice despondently.

- Yes, it could be.

At that moment, the door to the hall opened violently.

Since my back was turned, I could see nothing. Rajan looked over my head and exhaled.

- Oh, no. We mentioned the demon's offspring and it manifested itself.

I looked over my shoulder and saw Aryan. He was entering the hall, determined. Quick steps and eyes scrutinizing the place.

- What is he doing here? - Shantai asked. - Teachers do not enter the student cafeteria.

- Looking for someone. - Rajan deduced. - Look at his murderous expression. I wouldn't want to be in the poor guy's shoes.

I couldn't say anything. I had a bad feeling. Don't look at me, don't look at me...

But he looked.

Seeing me, he started walking towards me.

Shantai swallowed dryly.

- By the gods. He's coming this way. Don't make any sudden movements.

Aryan finally arrived. He stood right next to me. I thought he would say something, but he did not. He just stared at me with piercing eyes.

Trembling, I tried to hold his gaze. It was black, powerful, and icy.

He put a hand inside his jacket - and everyone tensed up. What would he get out of there? A gun?

However, what came out of his pocket was a flower. A lush, red rose.

My friends' eyes widened. The act was unmistakable. A courting rose.

Aryan placed it on my tray.

- Now it's official. - he announced, voice deep. - I will wait for your answer.

Then he turned and walked away.

The students began to speak at the same time, shocked and mortified.

Everyone understood the gesture. The professor was officially wooing me!

I stared at the rose in horror.

- Fuck... - Rajan could barely speak. - Did that really just happen?

I swallowed dry.

- It seems so.

- We got it all wrong. The soul eater doesn't want to kill you, he wants to date you! That was an official request!

However, Shantai knew me very well. He noticed that there was no surprise on my face - only embarrassment and dread.

Of course I did. The act only confirmed what I already knew.

Shantai crossed her arms, serious.

- What are you not telling us, Kali?

***

BY ARYAN'S VISION

- You did what? - the principal shouted.

Aryan remained serious. Hands behind his back.

- What you heard. I announced my official procession.

After the scene in the cafeteria, Aryan was immediately called to the principal's office. Some student told the episode to a teacher, who told the principal.

Nothing unexpected. Aryan prepared for it.

The director was a little purplish. He was certainly suppressing some screams.

Wise decision. It was not smart to yell at a soldier who scared the worst devils.

- Captain, this is very inappropriate! She is a student!

- I know it is, I'm not stupid. I thought carefully about what I was doing before making the decision. I went through all the Pantheon rule books, looked for precedents, and sought guidance from the Guardian Council. There is no explicit rule that prohibits a teacher from dating a student. Is it not customary and might shock? Of course it is. But it is not forbidden. We are both of legal age.

- Even so, the other teachers will not feel comfortable with the situation.

Aryan just raised an eyebrow, cold. His expression said it all.

- With all due respect... I don't give a shit about the other teachers.

Defeated, the director sat back in his chair. He massaged his temples.

- Captain, you have a commitment to celibacy. Do you know what this will mean for you?

Aryan felt his throat closing up.

- Yes, I know.

- Have you weighed this decision carefully? The consequences for your life will be very serious.

- I've given it a lot of thought, and I've made up my mind. - He sniffed, feeling a warm spark in his heart. - For her, it will be worth it.

Captains of the Hidden Guard did not have girlfriends. If Aryan flouted celibacy, he would lose his position as captain. He could still be in the Hidden Guard, of course, but it would be a giant step backwards in his career. Years and years of celibacy thrown away.

Holy crap. That girl really changed the course of his life.

- Let me say, Captain, but I cannot endorse such a decision. It would be insanity to lose your entire brilliant career for a fledgling. You, of all people... Such a responsible and committed man. It would be a huge loss for the Guard. No one will be able to lead them like you. Is she worth all this?

It was difficult to answer. Aryan didn't usually talk about feelings.

- Yes, it is. By the way, I am not asking for your endorsement. I have had twenty years of glory, director. I have known evil and war up close. I have given up all my desires for the sake of that position. Now, I want to experience this... this love.

The word made him shudder. It was so unfamiliar.

It started as a spark, a puzzling interest. But day by day it grew and took other forms.

Aryan didn't know exactly when it happened. When he came to his senses, he was already following the girl everywhere. Until it became clear that it was passion.

The director was uncomfortable. Two bosses guided by reason, talking about feelings?

No. Embarrassing.

- I can't stop it. There really are no rules that forbid this relationship. I don't support the decision, but you know what you're doing. If that's what you want...

- There is nothing definite. The girl has not yet... - Aryan looked away, somber. - He didn't give an answer. I don't know how she feels about me.

Aryan couldn't even speak her name out loud.

He was so embarrassed with himself. How did he manage to fall in love with a girl he barely knew?

It was inappropriate. Mortifying. Embarrassing.

And that wasn't even the worst of it. Aryan was still waiting for her answer. He had already been tortured, abused, and stabbed several times. But that agony...

Damn, it was unbearable.

Not knowing how the girl felt about him was frustrating. It made him terribly vulnerable. He felt his heart in tatters. Exposed, invaded, disconcerted. As if his damn soul was bare in public.

The truth was ridiculous. He was in the hands of a 22-year-old girl. Beaten by a child.

The director replied:

- Regardless of the outcome, start looking for a replacement. If your, uh, love is consummated, you will need to step down. I am sure that many of your soldiers will be interested in the position.

- Yes. If that's all, I'm withdrawing. I have obligations.

- That's all. - The director looked at him with pity, as if advising a lunatic.

Aryan nodded and left.

As he walked to his dormitory, a hand ran through his hair. His head was exploding.

Yes, courting a female student was an insane decision - but his heart spoke louder than reason.

Aryan was always rational. She never let herself be affected by feelings. As a student, his relationships were always vicarious. One-night stands. He did this on purpose, because he always knew where he wanted to go. His goal was the leadership of the Hidden Guard - the highest honor among the Guardians.

Captains of the Guard could not afford to fall in love. A woman would only hinder their goals.

Could he give up sex? Yes. But "love" was made of a more intricate raw material. Unpredictable and dangerous.

At least, that's what they said.

In his student days, Aryan had as much sex as he could. He knew that soon he would have to follow celibacy. So he kept well away from anything that could hinder him...

Inclusive of love.

That is, until now.

That passion was disconcerting. He found himself rolling over in bed at night, unable to shut his eyes. He wanted to know every detail of her life. The obsession started when she beat him in the fight. And he admitted the passion to himself when she came to his room.

His priorities were shuffling. He could not approach her directly, so he tried to reach her through the edges of his life. His friends, enemies, and family.

Aryan developed stupid feelings. For example, he could not look at the face of Kamala - Kali's ex-girlfriend. A corrosive jealousy burned in his chest. It was irrational. He could not explain it. He simply could not bear to teach that overbearing girl.

And to know that another mouth has kissed the sacred lips of Kali.

Argh. It infuriated him.

In his friends, he saw a channel to learn more about her. He even thought about mentoring the brats - just to have more information about the girl.

Yes. He had come down to that level.

When humans were interested in each other, they stalked each other on social networks. But the Pantheon had no internet. The stupid human habit was missing now. With no way out, he had to appeal to his friends. Of course, they were both suspicious.

Not satisfied, Aryan also searched Kali's family archives. It was not a violation, for they were public.

Separated and careless parents. Terminally ill grandmother. Poor childhood. It was not a happy story.

He followed all of Kali's efforts to send blessings to his grandmother. She did volunteer work and he watched her from afar. Aryan himself pulled some strings to get jobs for her.

But in the end, the income was negligible.

So he decided to make the donation. Aryan knew that this would expose him, but what was the alternative? Watch the girl suffer from afar?

No. Unbearable. They were like a thousand knives in the chest.

He didn't worry about money. In his position as captain, he had managed to become rich. He could live like a soldier for the rest of his life, and he would still be fine. The Hidden Guard paid a lot. Not for nothing was it the most coveted job among guardians.

Aryan arrived at his room. He opened a bottle of rum and drank through the neck. The liquid went down his throat.

Lately, drinking was his balm. The anesthesia that made him endure inhabiting his own skin.

An unrequited passion was endless anguish. The obsessive thoughts... The uncontrollable boner...

Fuck. Just thinking about the girl made him hard.

Aryan refused to masturbate. The practice would make him addicted, and a captain had to hold total control over himself. No addiction - just focus on the job.

He sat down in an armchair carrying another full glass. He leaned back and closed his eyes. He took a deep breath to calm himself.

Meanwhile, his damn cock was throbbing inside his pants.

Don't think about sex, he repeated to himself. Don't think about her delicious body.

Then, he thought of something that immediately blew him away....

The terror of being rejected.

Aryan had no idea what the girl thought about him. Did she suppose he was plotting some kind of revenge?

Silly girl.

Aryan would rather cut off an arm than harm her. He couldn't believe he had already threatened her with death. He wanted to cut out his own tongue for uttering such words.

In the midst of the chaos, Aryan had three certainties.

First: Kali felt fear in his presence.

He had no idea how to reverse his status as a "soul eater." How would he show her that he was not a threat? That he didn't want to hurt her? Just love her and protect her?

Second: His father would be furious. A son of Shikram in love with a daughter of Dakti?

No. Nonsense, treason. There would surely be consequences. But Aryan was willing to pay the price.

Third: at some point Kali would have to respond to his wooing. And insecurity plagued him.

If she said "yes", he would lose his career, but gain what he never had...

One love.

But what if she said "no"? Her heart would be broken into a thousand pieces. Aryan had no idea how to deal with that pain.

Honestly, he had a secret fear. What if rejection led him to a dark place of hatred and hurt? What if he became self-destructive? A danger to himself and others?

Kali had no idea of the consequences of her decision. The girl held the fate of a beast in her hands. She had the power to tame it, or to open the bars of its cage.

And no one would want to pay to see the worst side of the soul eater.