Chapter 4 Chapter 4

Kit stared at her mother, her mouth agape, for almost as long as it had taken Rona to speak in the first place. It wasn't until Zora cleared her throat that Kit was able to look away. Trying to determine what sort of problem it might be, and what sort of remedy they might provide, made her even nervous. She'd already been anxious at the idea that the elderly physician would be performing her Proem in less than two days. Now, that didn't seem to be the case.

Zora's tone was more empathetic. "It seems the physician's age prevents him from performing the ceremony, child." She tipped her head to the side and gave Kit a moment to ponder how that could be. "As you may remember, he had difficulties at the last Proem Ceremony, that of your cousin, Isla."

Of course, Isla had told her how she'd felt next to nothing during the ceremony and how it had been during her Exploration that the true discomfort she'd been expecting had come to pass. Kit nodded her head.

"We have discussed the possibilities of having the physician perform the ceremony using something else, some other device, but the law clearly states that the Proem must be completed by a male's member. It cannot be a substitute device." Rona seemed exasperated.

Not wanting to let her naïveté embarrass her, Kit pondered exactly what her mother was saying, though she wasn't exactly clear. She kept her lips closed and her ears wide open.

"We thought perhaps another man could be chosen to perform it, some sort of a lottery," Zora continued.

"But I know my daughter well enough to understand that solution would not be a wise decision. You would become fascinated with that man, and that is not what the Proem is about. Remember, this is a medical procedure. It is a ceremonial removing of the barrier inside a woman's body, that which separates her childhood from adulthood, and symbolizes a passing into a phase when she deserves to be completely pleasured in whatever ways she desires."

That much Kit understood in its entirety. She nodded again.

"We have thought of a possible solution, but it is an involved process, and it may not be wholly lawful." It was the first time Nill had spoken, and her gentle voice was a comfort to Kit in her overwhelmed state.

"We propose that it be a member of your guard, chosen in secret such that no one will know precisely who he is. He shall perform the Proem Ceremony under the direction of Mikali, and then you shall never be aware of who served you in such a capacity, thus preventing you from developing any unnecessary emotional attachment to him." Her mother presented her with the solution as if she were stating a medical diagnosis, and Kit raised both eyebrows, trying to determine exactly how what she described might be done.

Zora spread her long white gown around her knees and took a deep breath. "We would ask any members of your guard who may be interested to present themselves to the physician to ensure they are disease free and clear of any ailments that might prevent them from performing the ceremony."

"Since they are all inspected regularly, Mikali would know if any were of questionable health," Nill continued.

"Then, the physician would randomly choose twenty of those who volunteered, assuming there maybe more than that. Those twenty would all be blindfolded and covered so that no one may know who they are, not even the physician. He would then arbitrarily select one of them to perform the ceremony while the rest wait within an area where it would be impossible to tell who had been selected. Once the procedure was over, the only person who would know who performed the Proem would be the man himself. We will ensure that he understands, should he speak a word to anyone, he will lose his head." The queen seemed satisfied with her explanation, but Kit still had several questions.

She reflected on what the council members and her mother had stated for a moment before drawing in a deep breath and asking, "May I make inquiry?"

"Of course," Zora said at the same time her mother said, "That's not necessary."

"Rona, dear, allow the child to speak," Zora pressed, gently. "She is frightened, can't you see?"

"There's simply nothing to be frightened of," the queen protested. "It's easy enough. You shall lie there while he enters you, and then the ceremony is over. Once your Clearing is complete, you may lay with whomever you choose for the next three years before your Choosing begins. What is there to fear?"

"Forgive me, Mother," Kit replied, clearing her throat and running her hands down the length of her skirt again. "I was only going to ask how Mikali would assist. Would the guard be blindfolded during the ceremony? Wouldn't he need to see?"

The ladies considered the second question quietly before Rona shrugged her perfectly straight shoulders beneath her dark gown and said, "I suppose we could make it so that he could see if necessary, but his face would need to remain completely covered."

"And you do not think I know the members of my guard well enough to recognize who he is?" Kit's mind flickered through the familiar faces, the ones who accompanied her through the hall, watched over her while she was in the garden or the library. What would it be like to know that one of them had been inside of her, and he was the only one who knew? Would she constantly question who it might be? Would he slip up and give himself away?

"We will make sure he is unrecognizable." The queen seemed confident in her resolve. "And Mikali would simply ensure the ceremony is performed properly."

"Would the guard be exposed to the crowd? Or would he only reveal himself beneath the sheets?" Kit wondered

"What difference does it make?" Clearly the queen was growing exasperated with her daughter now.

"I should think a lesser number of guards would wish to take part if they were about to expose themselves to the entire Royal Court," she argued. "Also, would Mikali exclude those who are already wed?" She knew there were at least a few members of her guard who had wives, and she couldn't imagine having one of them perform the ceremony.

"Fine, he does not need to be exposed. That can happen beneath the sheets. And yes, of course, no married men will be involved." Rona answered quickly.

That would leave forty or so gentlemen who may be eligible. Would even half of them step forward? She had no idea. Since it was her understanding that most men did not receive the same sort of pleasure from sexual relations as women did, she feared none of them would want the duty. Of course, this was not a sexual act, she reminded herself. It was simply a medical procedure....

"We are settled then," Rona said, dismissively. "This is how it shall be done. I shall sign a decree. And then... we shall set about finding a healthier physician. After all, you do have younger cousins who will require the procedure someday. I hope that you will also have a daughter in the coming years. It shouldn't do for her to also be afflicted with this unconventional method."

The fact that her mother found their solution so distasteful made Kit wonder if this was the right answer or not, but there was nothing she could do to change it now. "Is there anything else you wish to discuss with me, Mother?"

"No, that is all," Rona replied and gave her daughter a dismissive nod.

Kit rose, a few questions lingering in her mind that she dared not ask now that her mother had given her leave. The rest of the council, even those who had not spoken, gave her reassuring smiles as the princess curtsied to her mother and then backed to the door. The guards beyond opened it so that she could make her way through without turning her back to her mother.

In the hall, Galter and the other guard waited for her. She knew the doors were thick, but she thought perhaps they had some idea what was discussed as they would not look directly at her, and their cheeks were slightly pinked. She looked at each of them again and then redirected her eyes to the long marble hall in front of her. Could she in good conscious walk alongside her guards knowing that one of them knew her so intimately? She had no idea how she might do such a thing, but she would have to discover a way to put it out of her mind as she had little control over any of it, like most aspects of her life. Once her mother had made up her mind, there was no going back. Kit wondered what would be worse-the guard or the physician--and decided that either choice was horrid.