Chapter 3 The feeling

Chapter 3

If he is true, I only ask him for one thing, that he protect my son and don't let him lose me because this is the only reason why I will continue.

"Cecelia! Bring me water to my room!" I heard the Seigneur's stern voice calling me.

I just closed my eyes and sincerely prayed that he would not hurt me...my son and I.

I was about to turn away when he suddenly grabbed my hand tightly.

"S-Seigneur..." I stammered because of his earnest eyes.

"I don't want to jerk, swallow my dick." He spoke so authoritatively that I bit my lip and tried not to cry. I shrunk myself, i was violated again by the man i love.

"B-but..." I protested, containing myself not to breakdown.

"You have no right to say no, this is what you want, right? You are good at this, show me what you got!" He grabbed my hair and touched my face.

"W-why are you doing this to me?" I don't wanna cry, if I cry he will only hurt me more so I stop myself.

My anxiety is attacking me again, this is the feeling I had when my own father was hurting and beating me. Feel like you're drowning in a deadly emotion that you can't resist.

"You don't deserve to be happy so now I'm going to make you feel what you should feel. You want hell, then I'll give it to you!" He spoke and crushed my face as he stood.

He was forcing me to do it so I had no choice, I had no other choice.

I don't want him to hurt me, my son... I have to do everything for him.

I followed what he told me, i give him what he wants and when he's satisfied he also let me out of the room. I just leaned against the back of the door after I closed it, disgusted with myself and full of pout in my heart.

I went to the bathroom to clean myself. There I poured out my tears that I had been holding back, shaking and cleaning myself.

I was molested and treated like trash again, but this time it's no longer my father it's the father of the baby inside my womb.

I spend the night anxious, I feel like my heart is being broken over and over again.

In the morning I still couldn't sleep, even though I was weak I chose to go to the market. There were only a few groceries at home, I also felt sorry for nana Loling so I just volunteered.

Even though he didn't want to agree, he didn't do anything because I insisted, I still didn't have the courage to see Seigneur after what happened. I don't know where I will find the courage to not be hurt by whatever hurtful words he throws at me or the things he makes me do that are against my heart. Yes, and we're married, it's my duty to fulfill his needs in bed but not in a way that's against me, especially what he did to me last night. I just shrink from myself when I remember that. I need to calm down so he doesn't hurt me because I have nowhere to go if he kicks me out for good.

"Ma'am Cecelia, where are you?" Manong Edo asked me.

I just smiled at him, I didn't want Seigneur to scold him.

"Don't drive me, I'll just take a jeep." I fixed my bag then waved at him.

He didn't do anything either, he knew Seigneur would scold him, he did it once and I don't want manong Edo to be fired from his job especially since he has a family to support. Just because he took me to the market, the man almost lost his job, Seigneur didn't want me to be struggling so he would be angry with the things that would make my life easier.

I arrived at the market safely. Wearing my favorite blue dress, I entered the grocery store that I always go to. I looked at the couple happily shopping together. I put that out of my mind and continued shopping.

"Isn't it? That's him? The Mayor's naughty son?" I heard whispers on my side so I bowed and left that section.

I just went to the canned goods and noodles stall. Everywhere their eyes are really warm to me.

"You're here..." I was shocked when someone spoke beside me. He's holding a bag of marshmallows.

Marshmallows again?

He was smiling at me as if I was so funny in his eyes that he couldn't take his eyes off.

"Come on, Acadia." He smiled showing his perfect set of teeth and handed me a bag of gummy worms.

"Shut up, Roltaier!" I just winced, De Guiea and his childish acts.

"Ice Cream? I'm free." He raised his eyebrows at me.

It was like there were so many stars around him and I quickly said yes. I just saw myself sitting while smiling and waiting for the fresh man.

I just stared at him in the distance, Crescent Roltaier De Guiea. The girl who will fall in love with this guy is very lucky, but because of politics, her world is also surrounded by violence and dirt.

"Oh you're stupid again Acadia, it's a good thing I know what's in your brain..." I bit my lip and seemed to be deaf to what he was saying.

"When did you come from Korea?" I asked him.

"Just last month, I had a condo near here. Do you come here often?" he asked back to me.

"Yes, when I go shopping here I'm lazy." I quickly scooped up and took a bite.

Hey, it's delicious!

"How are you and Seigneur?" He asked teasingly even though he was worried.

"It's fine..." I answered weakly and I just focused on taking a bite.

"Is it really okay?" He meaningfully asked me again before smiling. He must have felt that I didn't want to talk about it so he changed the subject and started talking.

This one feels good, right? I guess my hormones are playing gracefully because I feel like I'm going crazy if I don't taste the ice cream on the table so I didn't even pay attention to the Roltaier grass.

"That's Magnum classic, I know it's your favorite." He had no appetite and began to take a bite. I tearfully felt every bite of it as if I was being cradled in a cloud.

I just ate quietly and it was obvious that he was enjoying watching me. We also talked about his antics in Korea, as usual he will show me his expertise in the field of women after that he accompanied me to the counter and he was the one who lifted my heavy purchases while still babbling chattering as if never getting tired.

He offered to take me so I agreed. I don't want to commute because it will be difficult for me to carry all this and be crowded in the jeep.

I just drove a few feet to the mansion, he insisted but I refused. I don't want Seigneur to think anything bad about my youth, it's hard to have him involved in my chaotic life.

"Take care of yourself, you look like a stick Acadia. You can avoid it." He even laughed at me while waving with a teasing look.

I smiled as I watched his car leave, I missed him too except for his antics and his malfunctioning brain. We also didn't see each other for a long time after he migrated to another country.

I just took a deep breath and decided to go inside the house carrying my purchases, even though I was struggling I was able to carry everything. I keep stopping when I feel like my hands are shaking, I'm also a little short of air, I don't know, I'm not like this so I don't push anymore.

I was about to enter the house when someone slapped me hard so all my belongings fell.

"How dare you stay in this house?" She's in rage, her face also darkens.

"Madam M-Maurine..." I was holding my face because of that, it was painful because of his slap. I looked at him, I was in shock because of what he did.

"Stop it mom." I looked at Seigneur who was approaching us.

He grabbed both of Madam Maurine's arms who were now seething with anger.

"How dare you let your father's equipment live in your house?!" He spoke trembling and tears gradually fell.

I was shocked to hear, Madam Maurine pushed me so that I fell down, then she tweaked and slapped me.

My face was numb and bleeding from the scratches but the hatred in my heart prevailed and the fact that Seigneur was only looking at me while his mother insulted me.

He didn't even defend me, I smiled bitterly and wiped my bleeding lips.

It's okay, I know they wouldn't understand me though, even if I defend myself, they don't know what's really going on.

"M-Madam that's right!" I heard Nana Loling's scream, I just felt her scratches, kicks and punches but I was protecting my stomach. I don't care if my head hurts or anywhere else as long as he doesn't hit my stomach.

My vision is getting blurry, I feel like I'm spinning around. Rubbing my whole body, I felt Madam Maurine's step on my side which I did not expect.

"You bitch! Fight! You are a put@ and you never have the right to live! You are wrong! Snake! Butterfly!" All the words that I never wanted to hear he said to me like I was a dog.

I wailed, pleading and begging even in a low voice.

"You have no shame! You are such a pig!" He slapped me more and tweaked me.

I don't want to fight, Seigneur will be angry with me. I don't want her to get angry and hurt Madam Maurine, she won't be able to forgive me.

I heard Nana Loling's whining in the back and her running towards me. Madam Maurine was stunned and turned pale.

"Oh my God!" Nana shouted and attended me.

"N-Nana...my stomach hurts...." I stammered shakily, as if my heart was being crushed and my tears began to fall.

To Be Continued...