Chapter 5 How Does It Feel

The warmth spreading to her ears, Johanna held the phone at arm's length. Her voice tinged with a mix of surprise and discomfort as she said, "I didn't realize the hospital would charge your account. I'll reimburse you."

Carson's laughter traveled through the line, light yet carrying an edge. "I don't lend money to people."

Johanna's response was softer, almost pleading. "I can't cover it all right now. Just give me a few days."

His reply came with a clarity that brooked no misunderstanding. "What? Wasn't I clear? I don't lend money, Johanna."

How could Johanna not understand what he had meant?

Perhaps, Carson had never intended to let her leave his life completely.

With a mix of defiance and resignation, she bit her lip. "I'll find a way to pay you back within a month."

"That's too long. I'm not interested in waiting." Carson countered swiftly.

Hesitantly, Johanna started to bargain. "Then... two weeks?"

"Four hundred thousand in two weeks? How do you plan to achieve that?" His voice, cold and unyielding, suggested a disdainful solution. "You could try Robert if you're desperate enough. Should you decide, I can make the arrangements."

Johanna found herself at a loss for words, struck by the malice in his suggestion.

It was an insult, a deliberate jab designed to demean her, to push her to her limits and see if she would bend under the pressure.

Deep down, Johanna recognized that Carson played on her vulnerabilities with precision.

The sting of humiliation was sharp, yet, hidden by the anonymity of their phone conversation, her tears remained unseen. With a forceful swipe, she wiped away the tears, her voice rough with emotion as she asked, "Where are you now?"

His response came with a chuckle.

"The same old place."

Gathering herself, Johanna made her way to her mother's bedside before she would confront Carson.

The sight of her mother, peacefully resting after a successful operation, was a small comfort.

The best treatments, the timely surgery-all made possible by money.

When Johanna arrived, she noticed the apartment door slightly open, casting a warm glow from inside.

Their reunion was silent, marked by an unspoken understanding.

She took off her clothes.

He kissed her...

As they reconnected, it felt reminiscent of times past.

Judging by his action, it seemed as though Carson had harbored a lingering resentment towards her since their separation.

Johanna felt like she was run over by a truck.

Feeling powerless, she was unable to express her distress or even cry out. With her eyes closed, silent tears streamed down her face.

Yet, in the midst of this, Carson's demeanor softened, and he kissed her gently.

"Johanna." His voice a blend of roughness and contentment.

Caught off guard, Johanna opened her eyes to meet his gaze.

There was an undeniable intensity, a longing that seemed to engulf her.

In a moment of intense vulnerability, Johanna experienced a profound sense of being overwhelmed, a poignant reminder of their complicated history.

Yet, as she looked into his eyes, she sensed a distance, a disconnection from the present moment that suggested his thoughts were elsewhere, perhaps with someone he held dear.

It couldn't have been her.

Carson was most likely thinking about the woman he was in love with.

She couldn't help but respond with a silent, knowing sneer.

Realizing he was emotionally attached to someone else during their entire time together, Johanna felt like a mere replacement.

This thought filled her with rage, leading her to impulsively bite him on the neck.

"Hey..."

Instead of reacting with anger, Carson became rougher.

He was so deep inside her, she could almost feel him in her stomach.

Feeling a mix of fear and guilt, she gently pushed him away, saying, "Carson, I... I have a stomachache."

Carson whispered softly, "Stop this little trick. You're just feeling too good, as always."

"Carson, I mean it." Tears began to fall from Johanna's eyes, driven by the fear of harm to her unborn child. "You're hurting me!"

Faced with her evident distress, Carson's expression shifted to one of concern.

Carson noticed her discomfort and saw the distress on her pale face, prompting him to stop and reassess the situation.

He placed his hand gently over her abdomen, asking with concern, "Where exactly does it hurt?"

Johanna found it hard to articulate the pain, which seemed to amplify with her growing anxiety.

Recognizing her genuine distress, Carson swiftly contacted a private physician for assistance.

In the interim, he assisted her with a shower, during which he noticed something alarming.

"Why is there blood?" he observed, his voice tight with concern.

Johanna, struck by fear and uncertainty, echoed, "There's blood?"

The thought of losing the baby overwhelmed her with worry.

Unaware of her pregnancy, Carson mistakenly believed her injury resulted from his harshness.

His irritation was palpable when he questioned her resilience. "Just half a month in, and already you're this fragile?"

Johanna remained silent, too stunned to respond, while Carson, observing her silent tears and the sorrow etched deeply on her face, felt a wave of remorse wash over him.

He softly wiped her tears away. "Alright, stop crying. It's my fault. It's all my fault. I should have been more careful."