Chapter 2 .

I stand gazing around the luxurious house that is now my home.

Everything seems to be made from glass or something expensive. I have been here so many times but each time I come back, there is a new something that just pulls out all the air from my lungs and makes me stare in marvel.

I am still lost in the wonder when I feel a hand on my shoulder.

"Come on, you will have enough time to look around. Let me show you your room." Daddy says.

He climbs the stairs and I follow suit.

He opens the door and the view that meets me is just spectacular.

If this haven is my room, I won't ever leave it.

Everything is pink and completely different from where I slept when I spent a few days with him, and Ben.

On the dressing table is a pink laptop. All of these would have excited me on a different day, but not today. Now with all the grief I came with in my heart.

"Wow," I say flatly.

" Don't you like the color? I could have it changed." He says. I can see hope in his eyes. Hope that he did it right and I hope that I loved it.

"No, it's not the color, it's nice." I force a smile and run my hands over the laptop.

His face lights up. He just feels so fulfilled. I feel sorry for him, maybe we will be able to start to patch up our strained relationship from there.

"Okay then. I will be in my room if you need me" he says and leaves the room.

I sit at the table and look at the expensive gadgets in my hands. Any girl my age would have screamed out in joy, being happy to have this, but I don't know why I can't.

I feel like my mum will burst into the room and take them all from me, telling me that I don't need them, but that doesn't happen. It's never going to happen again, will it?

I curl up on the bed and hug onto my new phone and laptop.

"Oh, ma," I whisper to myself. " You would have totally objected to this if you were here."

I sigh and close my eyes.

*******

I close my door quietly. And tiptoe across the hall. I want to find the kitchen and see what fancy food would be in it. But here I am before this door right after mine. It's Ben's room. I breathe in and open the door.

The room is in order. Ben might have been an ass, but he was a tidy lad. His laptop is on the bed, his bed made, and all.

I look at the trophies on the shelf. He would never look at them again.

I sigh, like to drive off the ill thoughts in my head. I open his closet and a scent so much like his hit my nose.

His clothes are hanging there. I can't help but remove one of his hoodies. It's red and very attractive. Without thinking, I put it over my head, and on.

It's oversized but I can feel my brother holding me, so it's perfect. Next, I lay on his bed and look at the ceiling. Slowly, I drift to sleep.

The door to the room opens with a loud sound and that wakes me up.

I turn to see Dad with an anxious look on his face.

"Annabelle? Are you okay?" He asks.

"Yeah." I croak." I just slept off".

He walks to me and sits beside me.

"You haven't been crying, have you?" He is worried.

"What? No." I miss my brother and all, but all I do now is brood. I have no tears left to cry.

He joins me in the bed and looks around the room.

"Should we clear the place up?" He asks.

"No. I don't think it's necessary. This is Ben's room. Like his museum now." I said.

He nods in agreement. I know he didn't mean it. He just wanted to say something, anything.

"You know, that was his first trophy." Daddy points at a silver cup. "He won it when he was fourteen. We had just moved here. And since then, he just kept bringing them in, in their numbers."

I smile. "Yeah. Ben was a promising guy." I agree.

He just got accepted into college and all that.

He never wanted to go to college, but he suddenly changed his mind and got accepted to study marine engineering, then tragedy struck us. We can't really get over this, can we?

"He wouldn't let me into his room." I didn't know how loud I had said that until my dad turns to me.

"What?"

"He wouldn't let me in here without permission," I explain to Daddy with a laugh.

" He would ask me to knock and wait for his response before he allowed me in."

Daddy laughs. "Did he do that to you?" He asks.

"Many times" I answer.

"And here I was thinking that it was only I who suffered that."

He reaches out and cleans a tear from my eyes. I thought I was done crying.

"But hey, I've got you now, right? And you've got me?"

I nod.

"We will get over this together, I promise."

He hugs me and I clean my eyes with my brother's sweater.

I spent the rest of the weeks settling into my new environment. And coming to terms with the fact that I will never see my brother or my mother again.

I have been quietly grieving and coming to terms with it.

************

I'm in the dining room just going through my pictures. I'm zooming in on a picture of Ben and staring at his beautiful eyes.

I hear the now-familiar sound of my father's car and I don't bother to check because I know it's him.

The front door opens and he enters the kitchen.

"Hi, Dad," I say.

"Hi." He looks sweaty and his breathing is somehow over the edge.

"Are you okay?" I ask. " You look a bit worked out."

"Yeah." He nods. " Just had to get you some stuff."

He raises his hand and I see a big shopping bag in it.

"Wow? What's that?" I have gotten so many gifts from my dad over the past few months that I'm no longer surprised by them.

He quietly hands it to me and stands with his hands akimbo.

"What's this?" I try to figure it out by feeling its shape. I can't just place a finger on the exact thing that it is.

"Go ahead, open it." My father pushes.

"Okay...." I do as he has said and open the bag.

I'm not too drilled about what I see. Books, books, books. Textbooks, exercise books, and all kinds of shit to be used in school.

"It's one week until school resumes." He informs me. " You are going to start attending Ben's old high school. Lakeview High School."

Lakeview? What kind of dumb name is that?

"But you didn't tell me about anything," I say with annoyance.

"I'm sorry. I thought you already knew you were going to start school here since you are now staying here."

I stuff back everything into the bag it came in. This has just ruined my nice evening. I was having a very nice time with myself when he came with his bag of books and ruined my day.

"But I just lost my brother, I'm still grieving," I tell him. " I need time to mourn him properly."

"Okay, just how much more time do you need?"

I haven't thought of that, but since he asked.

"About a year or six months. " I say.

He bursts out laughing. Why is he laughing? He asked me a question and I gave him my desired answer.

"A year or six months, are you crazy?" He asks.

"Ben was the only brother I have and you don't get a mum twice in life." I defend my earlier statement.

"Look, Annabelle." He holds my shoulder. " I love you, and I love Ben, but the best way to mourn him is to move on."

Move on? How is going to school moving on?

"Going to school too early isn't moving on." I shake my head.

"It is, Anne. And Ben would have wanted to see you do that."

I'm getting frustrated here. Why can't he see that I'm not just ready to start attending high school again?

Going to a new school, especially high school, is a huge deal. I need to prepare very well for it, both mentally and otherwise. A week is not going to be enough time to do that.

"I'm not going to allow you to do that to yourself. You are going to school next Monday." He says with much finality.

I'm breathing heavily. Why is he trying to be so cruel to me?

"I didn't say I'm dropping out of school, I said I'm not just ready." I try to break it down for him. Maybe he just misunderstood me, that's all.

"And I'm your father and I'm telling you that you are ready. You are more than ready." He says with a smile.

"This isn't fair." I force a tear to roll down my cheek. " You never treated Ben this way."

My father frowns at my remark, but I don't care. I'm going to do anything in my power to stop this. And that includes emotional blackmail.

"And how was it that I treated Ben?" He asks me.

"You never forced him to go to school. He didn't go to college even though he finished high school years ago." I sniff.

"Oh, he didn't tell you?" My father smiles. " He has been working in my company, the manual section. He sorted out products and checked that nothing was wrong when they were shipped."

Did Ben work in the manual section of Dad's company? He didn't tell me anything about it, and I'm sure he didn't say anything to Mum about it either.

"That was until he chose to give college a try." My father adds.

I look at him. So what exactly is he trying to tell me?

"Can I do that too? Before I decide if I want to start high school?" The dumb offer falls out of my mouth.

I know he won't allow it, but I'm hoping he will allow me to sit back at home since I offered to at least try the workout.

"It's hard labor, Annabelle." He shakes his head. " I doubt if you will be able to handle the stress."

Good, and so is high school.

"Then you can't make me go," I tell him.

I'm behaving like a ten-year-old right now. I know I'm getting on his nerves and I don't care.

"Annabelle, let's just get one thing straight. You are going to high school and that's about it." He stabs his hand on her table.

"This is wrong." I stand up. " You are violating my rights."

"What rights?" He has this amusing look on his face.

"My right of freedom of rights." I gesture my hands. I have no idea what I'm talking about.

"Oh, Christ." He holds his head.

"You are just being difficult on me for no reason," I tell him.

"I'm doing this because I care about you and your future." He says.

I hiss and throw my face at him.

"I don't know what kind of school bag you like so you will have to send me a picture." He stands up. "okay?"

I pretend not to hear him and turn my face away.

When I do turn, he has gone upstairs leaving me to handle my attitude alone by myself.