Chapter 4 4

That's not enough. Not nearly enough. "You're missing $15,000." My hands shook as I clutched my hoodie, aware that this may be the last time I get to enjoy it. Well, that is, if they don't dump me in the Atlantic Ocean with it on.

"Are you still saving up for college?" I snapped my head up and met his pleading gaze again. Jimmy's stuttering was much worse when we were kids, so bad that he didn't even bother speaking. Papà paid for someone to teach us all sign language, just to make it easier on his perfect boy.

If only he was that considerate when it came to my sister and me.

Call me bitter and jealous, but my brother would never understand what Vanessa and I went through. What I went through when they took her from me, leaving me all alone

"Yes." My words were tight, and it practically hurt to speak. The rock lodged in my throat made me swallow hard, and I blinked away the tears stinging my eyes. "But it's not enough to help you."

"How much do you have?" He signed.

"It's only $5,000." I whispered.

"That'll help." He rubbed his jaw furiously.

I wanted to cry. I wanted to scream. I wanted to hurt him. It had never been a secret that I wanted to go to college. When I was little, happy, and naïve, I mentioned it once or twice (or maybe a thousand times) to my mamma. I was always told no, that I couldn't go, and that only increased my curiosity.

Even after I was attacked and broken beyond repair, my education was the only thing I had going for me. So yes, I worked my ass off for every penny, and I've been saving up to go to college-which was stupid-only to give it up now. I don't even know why I tried, because I knew deep down it wasn't ever going to happen. My imagination was in such a sad place.

My brother nudged me, trying to get my attention. I withdrew my gaze away from the ground and looked at his hands. I couldn't look at his face without picturing me wrapping a toaster cord around his throat and strangling him with it.

"After this, you won't have to live in fear anymore. I'll protect you."

"I don't live in fear." I snapped, scowling. "And I sure as shit don't need you to protect me. I got it." I was seething at this point, but he acted like such an oblivious dipshit. When I needed him, he wasn't there. When I wanted my brother to protect me like he was supposed to, he cowardly walked away.

I didn't fucking need him or anyone else. I could protect myself, and I'd never stoop so low and let someone make me so vulnerable ever again.

Jimmy released a loud breath. "I'm sorry?" He offered half-assed.

How was I going to get $10,000 in two days?

There was no way. It wasn't as if my father had left a hefty amount of money for us after he died. He hadn't left me, shit. At the time when he was killed, he had more debt in his account than he had an actual inheritance that would do anyone any good. The money I had was money I worked my ass off for, but it was nowhere near $10,000.

I couldn't go scrape that up out of nowhere. It'd take me at least a few months, much less two days.

The only thing I could do was look for the capo myself.

I knew that most of the corrupted casinos, clubs, and businesses in New York belonged to him, so I just needed to figure out exactly which ones. What was I going to say when I found him, though? I had no clue.

But I'd rather die trying.