Chapter 2 APPLICATION

She gives me an odd look but accepts. She reads, "Congratulations." "We have approved your Growing Generations Program application. You can now move on to step two. She finishes reading it and then raises her gaze to mine. What is this not?

Slowly, I nod. "I have no idea what to do. This is absurd, to be sure. I've never given birth. I have never even engaged in sexual activity.

She puts her hands on her desk and replies, "All right." It is clear that this is a very important choice.

My coffee is sipped slowly. "You know, it could be advantageous. The money is necessary for my parents. I truly, really need it.

Ciara, you need to be certain that you are prepared to accomplish this. When I overheard two females in my class discussing how college students are usually penniless, one of them brought up stripping for cash as a possible source of income, the idea of being a surrogate first came to me. Surrogacy was mentioned by the other. Of course I knew what a surrogate was, someone who carries a child for someone else, but that wasn't what interested me. How much money surrogate mothers make is what got my attention. $40k to $50k without difficulty. A life-changing sum of money. The amount of money in question could be the difference between my dad's life and death.

I made the choice to use. I was in a vulnerable situation at the time and genuinely considered what I was doing because I was simply desperate. But it seems like I'm now prepared to proceed to the next phase.

I tell myself, "My dad needs the money," once again.

Yes, but you'll need to be emotionally and physically ready for this. It will be difficult. Following conception, you'll need to undergo testing and checkups. After that, you'll have the child and lose contact with them forever.

I tilt my head. In any case, I don't want a child.

"You should consider this. Ciara, give this some serious thought.

We remain silent until the server brings our dinner, waiting for her to go before starting our talk. It's timed perfectly as well, I add. When the kid is delivered, I'll have finished my education . By graduation, you'll be expecting." Flora makes a pause. Commencement, Ciara. Your graduation photos would be permanently damaged. There must be another option because I am aware of your financial necessity.

"No, there's not. I have to prioritize my studies, thus I can't work any more.

Do you realize how difficult it will be for you to become pregnant?

Not as difficult as losing my father, I murmur. She turns to face me and her eyes mellow. "I apologize."

You're not at fault. I know..." I sigh. Although I know it won't be simple, I must take action to support my family. I cannot be this useless.

After a brief pause, Flora announces, "This is what we're going to do." "You're going to move on to step two, but while we wait for more details, we'll look for another way to make quick money."

I nod, well aware that there isn't an alternative. I considered getting a student loan, but it wouldn't be enough; I considered getting a different job, but I'll fall behind in my studies. I don't have anyone to lend me that much money; it's just my family and I. No one who can assist us.

The only thing I can do is become a surrogate. My hand instinctively reaches for my flat stomach as my cheeks begin to flush. Without ever having intercourse, I will become pregnant. Am I really ready to be a virgin surrogate?