Chapter 4 4 - Jude

I was quiet, simply grunting at her advice. It wasn't at all a negative grunt or one that would say that I wouldn't be doing it, but it was typically just how I dealt with topics like this one. Ones that were a bit awkward or uncomfortable to talk about but she was right and I knew she was. I wanted to tell her that but I couldn't find the words, still caught up in my own thoughts a bit. She didn't even realize just how much her touch helped though.

Her presence alone was enough to calm me in a strange way.

As soon as she leaned forward though, asking me if I wanted anything to eat or drink all I could do was stare at her full lips. They were just mere inches away from my own, I could just kiss her. Just once. Just to see what she tasted like, what her lips felt like.

"A burger would be nice..." I muttered and looked up towards her eyes. I wasn't going to give into my basic instincts even if they were screaming for me to just ravish her right here, all night long. With her so close, I was practically wrapped in her scent. She smelled divine. It was taking everything in me not to do exactly what I'd been thinking about.

She smiled at me though and slowly pulled away and I frowned when her hand finally left mine. "Another beer too?" She asked and I nodded my head. "Promise I'll be in and out as quick as I possibly can! Honestly, I can't say I want to get caught by any angry regulars."

She winked at me and walked away, my eyes staring straight at her ass as she moved and stepped behind the curtain. F*ck. Running my fingers through my hair, almost nervously I sat there alone with my own thoughts. This woman was going to be my end. I wasn't even sure if she realized just what kind of an effect she had on me or how damn much I wanted her. There was a reason I spent almost every night at this place and it wasn't the strippers.

She made me feel like I was a teenager all over again, though that wasn't exactly a great feeling to relive. It also wasn't a totally bad thing though, either. I just didn't want to screw this up with her, I didn't want Dahlia to think I was just throwing out sob stories to her to get laid either. I hadn't actually thought about dating anyone seriously in years now.

Not since Ashlyn had left.

Now, with her at least, I was definitely starting to consider it. Sometimes it felt like in another lifetime we had been a couple already. She was just easy to talk to and easy to be around and honestly? I was tired of being miserable, I just wanted to be happy for once. I was tired of feeling like I f*cked up my life or that I wasn't allowed to have any form of happiness.

I was left alone for a while to sit there and gather my thoughts. It was hard, all I could really focus on was the fact I was for one alone in a room with Dahlia. Two, Isa was alive. And three, Dahlia saw a side of me that wasn't exactly great. I didn't know what was going to happen or what to think about any of it but I was trying to just accept it as it was.

I really wasn't at all sure just how long it had been since I got lost in my own thoughts. Dahlia was the thing that was on my mind the most. From her luscious lips to the curves of her body. When I wasn't thinking about how damn good, she looked though I was thinking about how incredibly hot she was when she was angry and how I wanted nothing more than to leave here with her.

I saw the curtain move and felt myself being pulled completely out of my thoughts, glancing over to it I watched as Dahlia popped back into the room. Sheer thoughts of her did no justice to seeing her in front of me, especially with the way she looked at me even for a split moment, "Sorry it took a second!" She grinned brightly at me. "People are everywhere per usual!"

I took a look at the burger she'd brought back and the two beers, giving her a smile as she sat herself back down beside me. My eyes lingered on her legs for a moment longer than they should have before I reached for the burger and broke it in half, holding half of it out towards her. "Want some?"

"Oh! No thank you, I appreciate it though!" She smiled at me.

I nodded my head as I opened up one of the beers and took a long drink from it. Apparently, I had been far thirstier than I thought I was, and it quenched that thirst. Now I was left hungry, but I knew that beef patty in front of me was not the meal I was I was wanting, but it would have to do for now. Dahlia really had not even the slightest idea of what she was doing to me. What she always did to me, and I was almost glad she didn't because I wasn't sure how to approach that topic yet.

But another part of me wanted her to know. It wanted her to know how very much I wanted her and exactly what I wanted to do to her. It wanted me to let her know how curious I was to see her without that little black dress on, to know if her breasts were nearly as soft as they looked. That I was desperate to hear her moan my name and find out how it felt when she was at her peak about to fall apart from me filling her up.

Sh*t. Focus Jude.