Chapter 5 5.

This was Alara feeding herself to be used as a sacrifice. Already knew Bahtiar Gema was very ignorant. Still, her heart was on her side to reach out to the widower. Even though it's impossible. Never. Don't even think about it!

That kind of echo is also useless. It didn't work for her already ignorant heart. Indeed, once a fool remains a fool. And talking to stupid people, it's tired. Only listened to but not practiced.

Here's the explanation that we will peel in this chapter.

Out there, many women are willing and able to accept their man's past. Whereas men take it easy about their past and say no matter how bad they were, there will be no reduction for them. Very different from women, right?

Wanting to protest that this is unfair also feels useless. Because a woman... if her crown has fallen, then she is no longer a queen. Women are very special and very beautiful people in the eyes of men. So when she is tarnished, her beauty disappears.

No wonder many women can't say what their past was like. Because many men can't accept her condition. Regardless of any problems that have ever greeted the recesses of his heart until this kind of thing happens.

Speaking of the past and wounds, everyone has that. Everyone has their own share of dark pages. What they tear, they shred, eliminate or even throw away. But life goes on, no matter how bad people used to be, what matters is who they are now.

There is also advice circulating in society. It should work equally for women and men. A lot of advice says for women to keep their pride and virginity. Which is actually more applicable to men than it is damaging.

The percentage is this:

- 55% of men will use or abuse her

- 30% of men leave immediately

- Only 15% of men will accept, complete and perfect her.

Those are three possibilities that will happen if you share a secret.

So, there is no guarantee that you can trust who you hang out with to the point of revealing the truth about yourself. Understand the gestures, intentions and goals of the person asking. Get to know them about life before you tell them.

There are times when Alara wants to be quiet without being asked anything. She didn't want to be bothered by anyone. It's not that she doesn't want to share her story. But the most important teacher in this life is the lesson. And from there Alara knew, not everyone is really willing to understand or more painfully, not everyone is really willing to care.

Alara's silence doesn't mean she doesn't have problems. But each person's way of expressing themselves when facing their problems is different. And silence became Alara's choice to avoid the chaos that turned into complexity. The noise in her head was crowded and crowded. Grabbing Alara's defense in controlling her sanity. So silence, for Alara, was worthy of her entry into the list.

And it was at this point that she realized that Alara needed someone who was completely trustworthy in every way, who didn't ask 'what's wrong and why' but was able to soothe her soul. No matter how independent she is, no matter how strong she is to support the weight of her body, Alara cannot avoid if Alara needs the presence of a man. Who can hold her, take care of her, who can make her feel safe even if it's just with the words, 'as long as there is me, you will always be awake and fine'. That's very reassuring.

Alara is a different story from Bahtiar Gema.

The 33-year-old man also has his own dark story. Although not many people know how his heart condition was after the divorce that shook his soul. In fact, Gema tried to get up. He does a lot to heal and stay sane.

Gema is reluctant to dwell on his pain - disappointment to be more precise. Because his ex-wife did not meet his expectations during their relationship. She was rude and arrogant. And Gema found out after his love journey turned into a household.

In fact, it was true what people said. Dating only shows the outer side that is tightly masked. While marriage reveals what has never been seen in courtship. Everything is tightly and neatly covered.

It's done. So once Gema decided to close all her wounds. Gema diverted to activities that made her heart comfortable but did not give her excessive demands. Including finding his own pleasure, which although not good in the eyes of religion, Gema is right for his heart.

That's it. It doesn't mean that Gema forgets all of her pain. There was a time when Gema had to take it as a lesson for the future. Life, cannot be without a handle. Life, cannot be separated from the bondage to be used as a benchmark. In which direction the wind will take, there is a harbor that is ready to be used as a place to stop. A real stopover or just a quick stopover. Everything had been arranged by Gema once Alara Senja was present in front of him.

On the day when Alara Senja visited his room, offering a ridiculous agreement, especially bringing Gema's palm to enjoy her one breast. Gema's mind was a mess. All her efforts to heal her heart were in vain. Alara overturned all her stances. Turning her fixed mind that a relationship was not important.

This is funny. Is it okay for Gema to call Alara a child? It's really Gema's heart that's the problem. It's also his brain that's unhealthy.

"You're not eating?"

Alara's voice dragged Gema. And the young woman casually took a big bite of her fried rice. Her eyes were focused on the screen of her cell phone in a foreign language.

"Grandiose drama!"

"Sirik!"

Gema had just discovered Alara's rude and sarcastic nature and attitude. But somehow Gema liked it. Alara was blunt and no-nonsense. Alara was as she was and didn't care about her surroundings. Indifferent to every gossip that greeted her ears and pretended if 'this is her life. Hers and hers to enjoy'.

That was the kind of way Gema had been looking for. In the past-if Gema was allowed to compare-his ex-wife was too fond of listening to people's opinions. So what Gema said became meaningless. It was also what lit the fuse for the divorce to happen because Gema was not respected for his position as a husband.

Gema had heard that no matter how well educated a wife was and how much her position exceeded her husband's, she still had to obey her husband's orders.

And now, Gema found that in Alara Senja. She was completely herself despite all her confidence being eroded.

"It's not good to eat while playing with your cellphone."

"Chatty!"

Gema's outstretched hand rubbed Alara's head which made the beautiful woman stiffen in place. And squealed afterward.

"Is the fried rice good?"

"Crazy! It hurts." Alara complained. She tried to retaliate but was outpaced by Gema's movements.

That man was really something. Making Alara dugun-dugun in an instant and the next second annoyed to the max. Indeed, he had no morals so his damages were not canned.

"Your mouth is originally good for kissing. The more you swear, the more you want to be kissed."

What a horror this echo was. Alara's face turned hot in seconds. Guaranteed, the boiled crab on her cheek was already red beyond measure.

"What the hell!" Her jerk released Gema's hand.

Her hands stirred the remaining fried rice on her plate. With her brain traveling everywhere. Wow, how many times have they kissed? Once? Twice? Ah, I don't know. Alara was embarrassed by the aesthetics.

"Let's practice right away. When you think about it, your face makes me want to squeeze it." This is called rushing right in. "Anyways Ra..." Gema swallowed her rice whole. "I see a lot of people have crushes on you. Why didn't you accept? What makes me wonder is why you chose me-no, I'm so ge-er it sounds-"

"Good-looking!" Alara joked in response as she pointed her thumb at Gema's face.

"Did you ask my brother to live together like husband and wife? Do you have any problems with your family or other issues outside of college and work?"

Die! Alara wanted to faint that very second. Her eyes blinked in disbelief at the question Bahtiar Gema asked.

"How, yes, bang." Silence is not a solution. Alara had better answer as best she could. "I like widowers."