Chapter 5 5

Third day working on the same thing with Benton. Every day that passes, the fact of having to get married and work at the same time becomes more unbearable. We haven't had family dinners anymore, nor have we done anything beyond small interactions. My day is terrible when I see Alana; after our little moment of weakness, she went back to being the bitch she always was. I mean, she warned me, but I didn't expect it to be worse than before.

The few times we've seen each other, she speaks to me indifferently, and if I breathe the same air as her, it seems to bother her. I feel like saying hurtful things to her about how her ex-boyfriend was, but I'm not that much of an asshole, or maybe I just want to respect our deal. My friends haven't met Alana; I think she assumed that Benton is the only person I can call a friend, and it's not true, I'm twenty years old, and I'm still young. Just because my life is more settled than others doesn't mean I don't like to go out and meet people.

On the other hand, my father has been telling me that I can't date girls until my arrangement with Alana is official. I told him that Benton could bring them to my house and pretend that she's one of his girls in public. However, he didn't like the idea because in his words, "It's too dangerous, and we can't risk it." I need some social life; I don't give a damn about Alana.

"Well, that's the last thing we had to do."

"I swear I need to go drink, a club, a bar, whatever."

Benton looks at me amused and shakes his head. None of this affects him, at least not directly. The fact that I'm going to get married is still taboo for me because we all know that Jack Lather hates commitments, and even more so commitments that involve years. I've been looking for something that tells me that life is worth living, or at least that living with Alana will be worth it, but I can't find anything that assures me of that, and it stresses me out, makes me feel helpless, angry, disappointed, and unable to do something on my own. I decide that going out is something I want to do, to free myself, and going to drink with my friends is undoubtedly what I need.

Or maybe it's not, but it seems like a better idea than sitting still like an idiot waiting for something. If Alana can be a bitch, I can be twice as bad as her.

"We can go to Cesar's bar."

"Is it open today?"

"It's always open."

"Then, what are we doing here?" I say frustrated. "Come on, let's go."

I've been thinking about how to continue my life after the last business deal I made. And I've only been thinking and believing that I want to go further. Beyond what anyone else has done. Being independent at an early age teaches you things like living can become boring, having too many responsibilities is not good, being healthy and alive is the best thing that can happen to you in life, and of course, having money solves half of your entire life.

I stop thinking about trivialities and focus all my attention on Benton's new hairstyle. I don't say anything, but he looks good with long hair in a book shape. My emotions have been derailing lately; anything drives me crazy, and I feel like punching the wall when I carry too much stress. As a public figure, I must maintain a certain margin when engaging in conversations with people who are not from my same social circle. I've spent most of my life giving fake smiles to people I don't like.

Benton rolls his eyes, and we head to Cesar's bar. I usually don't come to this bar; I prefer to avoid going to places where people want to be like me, and Cesar is undoubtedly one of those people. When I met him, he told me he had been following my trajectory and liked my personality. I avoided laughing in his face because he had only seen my good and kind side, the only one I can show. As the days went by, he taught me things that he had noted I used to do frequently, which seemed strange, but I let it go. Benton and he have known each other since high school; they were good friends, but different paths separated them. I got used to the idea that Cesar would also have to be part of my life if he was part of Benton's life. And so, I started going to his bar more often, and spending days with him, and as we got to know each other, he adopted my gestures and ways of speaking. Fortunately, he dresses to his liking because if he didn't, I would be even more scared.

"Sofia," she replied.

"I'm going to talk to Cesar and distract him. If you're going to fuck her, make sure it's at least in the damn bathroom."

It had been two hours since Benton went to talk to Cesar. Sofia's way of dressing made me think she was an easy girl, especially the way she approached the counter when she was going to serve a guy. After talking with her for a while, I realized she was anything but easy. She adopted a more serene posture when she was alone, checked her phone, and furrowed her brow repeatedly. I tried to start a conversation with her and appear as a guy who didn't want to sleep with her, and that worked pretty well. Now we were near the bathroom, waiting for a girl to come out so she could go in. She asked me to watch the door, and I agreed. Who knows what might happen after she enters or after we both enter?

"My best friend always talks a lot about you, sometimes it's stressful on that topic. I think you should come around more often so he can find some peace for a moment."

"I don't like Cesar," I confess, knowing that she is very close to him. I hope she yells at me or tells me to leave, even hoping for a commotion over the confession I just made. I never know what to expect from women, especially those who don't know much beyond the basics. My father always says it's better to stay quiet when a woman argues with you, and I've learned that he's right. That's why I say nothing until she nods, crossing her arms.

"It must be strange to see someone who wants to be like you."

"It is," I smile. "I know the influences I have as a businessman, and I know that people even see me as if I were a model or something like that, but I'm not. I've just worked harder than the average person."

"Wait, you're a businessman?" Sofia releases that comment confused and somewhat stunned by it. I thought she already knew. I could have sworn that when she saw me, she knew who I was immediately. But it wasn't like that; she didn't know me, didn't know exactly what I did for a living.

"I thought you already knew. Cesar should have mentioned it to you. Why do you think he wants to be like me?"

"Because you're handsome."

I grimace and shake my head. "Why were you looking at me when I arrived? I thought you already knew who I was because of that."

"You seemed attractive to me, and I thought you would come up with an excuse like this to sleep with me."

"Excuse? I haven't made any excuses."

"Jack, you've been pretending all night that you don't want to fuck me when that's exactly what you want."

I remain silent, thinking about everything that has happened in just a few minutes. Sofia is the most beautiful, intelligent, and intuitive woman I know. I like her for who she is, how she talks, and how she carries herself. I laugh in response and tilt my head from side to side. It seems unreal, so much so that it arouses me a bit. The bathroom door opens, and a crying girl comes out. I don't pay much attention to her; my eyes are focused on Sofia's. But from the corner of my eye, I see a familiar reddish hair. I turn around, worried, and curse under my breath.

"You're right about everything you said. I want to fuck you, but I think you're much better than that. And I have to go now; I know the girl who came out crying from the bathroom."

"You can leave her; she probably came with someone."

"She's my fiancée."

Reality hits both her and me; she opens her mouth and closes it again, dismayed by what I just said. But it's not a lie, and truths are better than spending a lifetime lying around.

"This is great," she whispers back and forth. "I was about to sleep with a man who's getting married. That's why I hate men for commitments. They're good for nothing! I don't know why you're still here with me. You should have been running after her by now."