Chapter 3 Three

Ashley

I'm torn, sad, and stupid.

I walk down the halls with a bride trailing behind. Today, I'm helping a client shop for her wedding dress. The wedding happens to be in three nights, so we have to get everything in order. I'm using a clipboard with a lot of checks on the list. We have two things left to get: a cake and a dress.

She's on the phone with someone, so I respect her space by working two miles away from her. My mind has been wandering lately, trying to erase that stupid event with Tristen. I'm sure I can't stand it. That arrogant, hot man.

I try not to think of him, channeling my thoughts to what will suit the new bride. She's a little bit on the plus side with a reasonable amount of bust, so her wedding dress wouldn't be excessively revealing.

I am walking while sketching the outcome of her dress, picturing her with bodice or just laces. I am just about to get to the neck region when I bump into someone. All the papers in my hands fly away.

I don't look up immediately; I say a short prayer, wishing Tristen isn't the one. Since the introduction by Trisha, I've avoided Tristen like a plague, so I don't know what to say if he's the one I just hit.

"Can't you watch your way?" His voice is as cold as steel, melting my heart. It is Tristen.

All the courage I've gathered over the years washes away looking up at his hard set jaws. "I... I'm sorry. I didn't see you coming." I mumble. I try to gather all the paper together, and the least Tristen can do is to help, instead, he taunts me.

"I bet you didn't see me." He mocks.

Inside of me burns, but I can't do anything because he's my boss. I stand up with my whole body trembling. He gets closer to me and I can almost feel his cologne, his minted breath. Where did he even come out from?

"Listen, Ashley, whatever happened to us that day was a mistake, and will never happen again, so I don't want you to harbor the thoughts that I'll fall for someone as cheap as you. I can get something better at the thrift store."

My heart crumbles. My knees weaken and I want to fall flat to the floor, but I can't prove to him that I'm a weakling. I don't look at his cold, blue eyes. I just bend my head, waiting for him to leave this place.

He leans to my ears, and even his whispers are like a lion's roar. "Especially my sister. Do not tell her. You certainly don't want to go back to New York."

The word "New York" doubles my heartbeat. I vowed to forget to everything that happened back at home: the abuse, the torture, and the uncomfortable live that I passed through, Trisha was the one that saved me from those torments, giving me this a place to stay and a job. He snaps his finger that brings me back to reality.

A tear streaks down my eye and I rush to wipe it with, not wanting Tristen to know I'm hurt by his words. I've faced tougher times than his blistering words, so I look up at his face with no emotions on. "I'm fine with it." I'm not fine.

He walks out in confident stripes, like he did ten years ago when I watched from my window, blushing my heart away for my brother's best friend. He was strict back then, but it seems like the Navy did him dirty.

Hailey walks up to me after I straighten myself up. "Are you okay?"

I pull up a small smile. "It's really nothing. Just a little misunderstanding."

We get to the bridal shop and I'm stunned by the number of dresses this shop holds. At the front, there's a beautiful bodice wedding dress that cuts at the knee, but I don't think it's an ideal thing for Hailey to wear. Sometimes, I wonder the day I'll be here shopping for my own dress.

Hailey seems to be jumpy about all of this. She tries on a lot of dresses, and hasn't met the ideal one for her yet.

"So, do you have a serious person out there?" This question baffles me, like lemons throwing themselves at life.

I blush and shake my head. "I don't have one."

She smiles. "I really do hope you get to meet someone, you're so sweet. I pray you meet the right person." I smile at her compliment, wishing the same for myself. But somewhere, in the deepest part of my mind, Tristen's face appears, and I realize I haven't gotten over the crush I have for him. Even though he has been nothing but cruel to me. And maybe. Maybe he has someone serious.

I sigh. I brush my fingers through three dresses and drag one out of the dress I envision for Hailey. "Can you try this on?"

She walks up to me in a heavy wedding gown, almost tripping. As she raises the gown to scrutinize it, she pinches her face. "I don't think this is the right dress."

I smile and put it in front of her. "Just try it."

She walks into the dresser and I wait for her, itching to try out a wedding dress, wanting to know how it feels being married. Hailey distracts my thoughts as she bursts through the dressing room with a big smile. "I love it, I love it."

She looks at the mirror, examining her outlines and the beads that are embroidered in the dress. "OMG, Ashley, how do you know this is the outfit for me?"

I smile. "I always know."

After wrapping up the clothes, we move to the cake section to pick the right topper. Planning this whole wedding is a fun roller coaster that I want to do over and over, until I do mine.

Hailey's happiness doesn't muffle until the day of her wedding. Her positive energy she bears as she walks down to the aisle gives me a "well done" flip in my tummy. When she gets to my turn, she tilts her head from her father's arm to give me a wink. The wedding is going well as I had hoped.

As the priest joins them together, I feel the longing to say "I do", but I just watch from the congregation, wishing her the best in her marriage.

"You may kiss the bride," the priest says. The love that shines through her husband's face is unmistakable. I press my hands to my chest, trying to get a whiff of this love.

My eyes water as Hailey throws her flower. I make no attempt to catch it, because I don't think marriage is for a girl who has been fortified with an unstable life. My mom died a day after my birthday and my dad became an alcoholic. With the social service finding out, they took away the custody from my father and sent me to a foster home. From one foster home to the other, I didn't find the love I deserved. I did everything possible to get away from the life I found myself in: heroin, sex, literally everything that could take me away from the loveless world.

On my eighteenth birthday, the best gift my foster parents could provide me with was kicking me out of the house, not wanting to see me ever again.

And that was the beginning of my wasted ten years. Until Trisha decided to pick me up from my dirty, dark life.

I stayed for the reception of Hailey's wedding. Of course, it's not a compulsory thing for wedding planners to be at the reception since the preparations are already done, but I'm doing it because Hailey is a sweet person.

I'm at the end of a table, sipping a big can of diet coke, watching a band we hired perform one of Ed Sheeran's songs. I move with the rhythm of the song, but I look mindlessly at the head of the band. His dark hair dances to his song, his Adam's apple bobs as he sings, his lean muscles bulge out as he strums the guitar, he pauses in between plucking the guitar and rakes his hair backwards, revealing his heart shaped face. I may just drool. I don't know if this is true, but I feel he winks at me. My heart skips.

"There you are." Trisha's voice makes me jerk back to reality that my Diet coke nearly spills on my dress.

"Gosh, you scared me." I try to comport myself, taking a swig from my giant coke.

"Did I?" She takes a seat opposite me. "We haven't had a lot of time to catch up on things." She's not holding any drink, so she just plays with her hair. "Oh, I also want to apologize on behalf of my brother for being a jerk to you."

There's an unsettling pit that rages in my stomach at the thoughts of Tristen. I smile. "It doesn't matter." I look away, so she doesn't see the pain that escapes my face.

"So, we're good now?"

I nod. "We are good."

She looks at the couple dancing. "So, tell me everything. How have you been? Is there someone back home?"

I give a sad smile and shake my head. "There's no one. Life was just hard back there, something I do not want to reminisce about."

"Same as Tristen." Trisha blurts. My eyes widened.

"He isn't?"

"He said commitments are far away from his mind. He doesn't want to get entangled in any sort of relationship." We don't talk again, but we look at the people on the dance floor. "Sometimes, finding the one you love is the sweetest thing on earth. Are you seeing how that guy looks at you? The lead guitarist?"

I try to act like I don't see him. "I don't see anything."

She ignores my comment. "There. He's coming to us. I better go catch something to eat, catch you later."

She disappears and I'm stuck to my chair. I gnash my teeth at her and promise to get her back. The lead guitarist walks up to me. "I just saw the most beautiful girl tonight and decided to walk up to her for a dance."

Seeing him up close. My heart races a million miles, looking at his eyes sparkled. He stretches his hands and I take it, allowing myself to be drained in this unusual feeling of love.

He takes me to the dance floor and holds my waist firmly. Our eyes meet and for a second, I think I'm in heaven. With the rhythm of the song, we dance slowly to it, sharing our words through silence. He's graciously dancing, moving his legs in the right way.

The music changes to a faster one, but we're not done. Under the stars, I am holding a man's hands, someone I do not know. I smile at him, wishing to kiss his lips.

He pulls forward for a kiss, for a minute, our lips almost meet, but we are stopped abruptly.

"Ashley?" Tristen's voice thundered around me. Goosebumps ripples through me as I slowly turn to him.

"You can't be serious. You have a lot to do and you're here kissing?" his words are vile and poisonous, killing away every iota in me that says I can find love.

"Mr. Moore? There's nothing to do. Everyone was having fun, so I decided to..."

I shouldn't have said that, because he reddened in fury. "Fun? Do you have fun while you work? I do not see you having 'fun' when you are working. Got it?" He gives my dance partner a red eye and he backs off. No one dares challenge Tristen.

I nod silently. "Yes, Mr. Moore."

Tristen has warned me vehemently not to address him just by his first name in public. Standing here, ashamed and hurt, the band guy holds my shoulder. "Sorry about that."

I want to hug him for the dance, but Tristen's voice blares. "Ashley!"

I hop away from my dance partner, wishing we had something more than a dance. He looks so lovely and calm. I don't even know if I'll get to see him.

As I rejoin Tristen, he wants me to do nothing except from following him at his back and picking up the trash. I know at this point that Tristen doesn't want the best for me.

He wants me to suffer.