Chapter 2 Den mother Tashia

Behind her, her bedroom door opened softly. She heard it, but didn't turn around, just stood there with her head slightly down and her gaze fixed somewhere on the horizon.

Soft shuffling footsteps approached over the thick carpet, stuck behind her and for moments only the heavy breathing of the den mother could be heard.

"Stella..."

She wiped the hair from her face with her hand.

"Yes, Mother Tashia?" she asked without turning around.

"Alpha Paul from the Moonvalley's Manes called and said he'll be here tonight at nine o'clock to speak to you."

It's like life suddenly comes into Stella. She drew in her breath and turned around rather quickly.

"Alpha Paul? But... but what is he doing here? I didn't know he was in Bacdrane?"

The older woman hesitated for a moment.

"He didn't say anything, but maybe he just wants to come and talk about his horses."

Stella swallowed hard before she managed to whisper: "Then I want to take a bath and change into another dress."

Tashia's cheeks suddenly began to tremble, she sniffed loudly and then stammered: "You must try to be strong, my child. Maybe Alpha Paul can still help you keep some of your father's horses."

"Well, Mother Tashia, I'll never allow it - I'm not going to humiliate myself to take advantage of father's friends. They'd better sell the horses too; I don't want anything to do with it anymore... "

Her father was friends with many Alphas from different packs. He was almost thrown out by the Gray Claws because of this, but because he opened his doors to the rejected pups of all packs, Alpha Duncan let him stay. He believed that some of the pups might be true mates of his pack members and he could grow his pack that way.

"And then what about Irish Wind? You always loved the stallion so much."

Stella bit her bottom lip and looked away. She always dreamed of one day running free with him as a wolf.

"It doesn't matter Mother Tashia; I haven't seen Irish Wind that often lately and it might as well be if I never see him again."

The den mother suddenly started crying and buried her face in her hands.

"It's all terrible!" she sobbed. "I was your father's den mother for more than eighteen years and now I have to find another place to live. I can't just leave you to your own fate!"

Stella walked forward and placed her hand on the older woman's arm.

"Well, Mother Tashia, I know how you must feel, but I've already decided to ask you to move with me to my apartment... I know it won't be the same as here on Bacdrane, but there at least you won't have to work so hard!" She almost manages to sound enthusiastic.

Tashia hastily dried her tears.

"Do you really mean it Stella?" she asked with open surprise.

"Of course, Mother Tashia!"

A little while later, Stella walked down the hall in the direction of the spacious marble-tiled bathroom. She didn't know why, but every time she had to deal with Alpha Paul, she was tense and unsure of herself. Yet he never gave her any reason to feel that way, because in the almost two years she had known him, he had only ever come here to talk about the pups and horses with her father.

He was probably never aware that she secretly loved him, otherwise he might have acted a little differently towards her.

Stella sighed slightly.

Maybe it's good that he never knew that, because after her acquaintance with warrior Ivan, she knew that her feeling for Alpha Paul was nothing but infatuation. He enchanted her with his strong personality, handsome looks, and her unattainable imagination.

When he was here, she enjoyed watching him from a distance and listening to his calm, deep voice. More than once she couldn't help but get the feeling that his mind wasn't on the things he and her father were talking about and then she wondered who that veiled world belonged to - maybe a she-wolf, or even his true mate which no one knows about.

The thought that there could possibly be someone in his life upset her that she couldn't bear to spend too much time in his presence. What chance did she stand anyway, she who doesn't even know what she is.

The last time she had anything to do with Alpha Paul was after Irish Wind won the Autumn Handicap. He was very excited that night and told her father that Irish Wind was only now beginning to show what was really in him. Father also spoiled all the pups with a barbecue that night.

Stella still remembers how her father thought thoughtfully.

"Maybe you're right, Alpha Paul, although I still have my reservations about him as a racehorse. I only bought him for breeding purposes and for the pups to ride. He's so small in stature that it wouldn't surprise me if he didn't make it on the tough grass lanes we've got here. Only time will tell if I may have made a bad investment." He paused for a moment, looked at Stella, then half-laughingly added, "I probably would never have bought Irish Wind if my daughter hadn't been raving about him."

She could see her father winking in Alpha Paul's direction and it made her blush uncomfortably. Finally, she said with a nonchalant shake of her head: "Well, if Irish Wind won the Grand National one day, father is going to retract those words and admit that my judgment is not as poor as father thinks!"

And now... now her father is no longer here, and she will never be able to prove to him that she was right about Irish Wind. Besides, she also has no say over the pups, Alpha Duncan has come to claim them all. Nor will she even be able to prove to Alpha Paul that she was right, because Irish Wind is getting sold on Friday and Stella knows with unwavering certainty that she will never see the horse again.

While filling the bathtub, Stella tries in vain to find an explanation for Alpha Paul's unexpected visit. He was not here for the funeral this afternoon and she wonders if he already knows what the real situation is here.

Time passes slowly and although Stella has resolved not to think about her problems again, she just can't shake the tormenting thoughts. She continues to wander restlessly and tensely around the house without finding anything to occupy her with. Later she goes outside. It is already dark, and a cold wind blows from the south and carries the howls of the wolves guarding the borders.

She put her hands in the pockets of her parka. Her red hair is covered under a cuddly woollen beanie so that only her slender face, slightly tipped nose and long eyelashes are visible.

In the grey darkness, the garden looks solitary and bare, the grass is dead from the frost and the deciduous trees sit black and dark above her.

At the bottom of the vast garden, she stops and looks back at the Moorish house with its high, white walls, curved window frames and open porch under the black tar beams.

Mother Tashia is probably now setting the table and in the living room the charcoal fire is glowing cosy by then. Still, she doesn't want to go there now, because it will just rip open all the memories. Barely a week ago, she and her father sat in front of the hearth, each with a glass of semi-sweet wine in hand, and they talked about Ivan's chances of getting the job as trainer.

She sighed audibly. It's not just her father who is gone, but in a few days, she won't even be staying here anymore. At least she has a small amount of savings in the bank and a few paintings that she bought in recent years and then at least there is also her old car. Furthermore, she only has her clothes and personal belongings that she will be able to take with her. That's all. She must give up the pups, the pack and the beautiful house where she wanted to do her first shift. She shook her head and realized she would have to accept that she might not be a wolf.

The wind blows stronger and somewhere above her the branches crack.

Stella doesn't know if she's looking forward to Alpha Paul's arrival or if she's afraid. He will naturally want to talk to her about the horses and discuss the future. How will she be able to communicate all the time while she is aware of the dark cloud hanging over her head?