Chapter 5 Unfair and Desperate

"Stella! Come down and eat. Breakfast's ready!" My mom's voice called from the dining area.

They must have set the table here rather than at the cafe. I guess whatever they wanted to tell me is important. We usually just fill up our stomachs with whatever is in the cafe.

My body was still trembling badly. This small thing I'm holding in my hand could result in big things.

My mind was not processing properly.

"Yes, coming!" I threw the pregnancy test in my bag and walked slowly down the stairs.

"Mommy! Look, Papay cooked your favorite." Vri stormed towards me and held my hand to usher me down the dining hall.

Mom and Dad have made an extra special meal.

"Wow. What do we have here?" I joked in a very stilted way.

I'm not used to this.

I sank onto a chair and put Vri beside me.

"What do you want, baby?" I asked Vri and put little bits of her chosen food.

"Go on, eat. I'll feed her." Mom offered me.

"No, I'll take care of this. You go ahead and eat, Mom."

After we ate, I finished clearing the table and did the dishes.

I don't know. I just want to do anything to delay whatever they would say. Or maybe I was just so terrified to face them.

Mom and Vri were preparing some deserts, and Dad was having his usual time checking some recipes.

I walked to him and sat beside him.

I badly wanted to hug him. Just a hug from Dad would surely make me feel that everything might be fine.

"Ne, go talk to your Mom. We agreed to let you and Dein get married. Bring him here sometimes. Ok?" He said this shortly before heading to the cafe.

He tapped my shoulder and breathed deeply before walking away.

I feel like I'm breaking. He usually calls me Ne. That's what he called me since I was little. I'm still their little Stella.

I stood up and took a deep breath before walking to the kitchen bar counter.

"Your father must have told you already." My mom began after handing over a cup of ice cream.

I nodded in response.

"I just want to know if you are already sure about that, Dein?" My mom's voice started to break. "Getting married is easy. But being in a marriage is a lot more difficult... Are you sure he's not going to leave you again? I'm just terrified that you might end up heartbroken again, Ne. I cannot bear to witness you breaking again if you ever got pregnant and he decided to leave you again. I don't think I can survive with that. Your dad may die in so much heartache."

My mom broke into tears while she said those words.

I gave in too.

They were late. Far too late.

This is really heartbreaking.

"Mhie. Sorry! I'm sorry! I promised you that you'd never be in pain again because of me, right? So, you can count on that. But thank you, Mhie. Thank you."

We hugged and cried there. We just stopped when Vri started to cry too, with a lot of ice cream mess on her face.

"Don't fight!" she said between her cries, but still she shoved in a spoonful of ice cream.

I spent my whole day tending the clothing line while Dad and Mom were busy at the cafe.

I had to be busy to occupy my mind.

We ate dinner with all the staff at the cafe before we let them go home.

After putting Vri to sleep, I decided to go out.

I needed to breathe and think.

I thought of going to my favorite hangout place and maybe sneaking a date with Kenzo.

With just the thought of him, an incredibly unusual ease crept through me.

I slumped on a vacant table and started typing him a message when someone grabbed the chair in front of me.

"Alone?"

I raised my gaze, and my insides steered like crazy.

"Ahhh..."

"Nevermind. I'm Kenzo's sister!"

The sour thing in my throat started surging again.

This is not just stress anymore. It's me being pregnant and under so much stress.

How could my life be so unlucky?

I suppose she knew already.

"Hi." I said, containing every ounce of tension in my body.

One by one, my other friends came and sat around me.

"Our dear Thiffey! We expect so much from you, but you failed us. And it was so disappointing." Gab, the gay one, said with all the frustration in his voice.

"Look here, Thiff. We know you. And we respected you so much, given the circumstances you've been through. But this time it was really out of line. You are older, and we expected you to think better and choose wiser." Nina said.

Wow. If I could wish to vanish right now, I would.

"Please. I do not work to finance his studies just to end up with someone like you. You already have a kid. Isn't she enough? Or if you are just looking for someone to... you know, after all, we are humans, and we have urges to yearn for something to tend our needs, sexually in particular, then I beg you to find someone else. I have more plans for my brother." Kenzo's sister snapped at me.

Then they left, just like that.

Ouch!

My eyes were blurry with tears. I understand every bit of Kenzo's sister's sentiments, I too would do anything to protect my younger sibling.

I was here hoping to talk to Kenzo and tell him that he could be the father of the baby in her belly.

But how am I supposed to do that now?

I feel my body getting numb.

I knew all that. I knew from the very beginning that most people would dislike my decision to be in a relationship with a kid seven years younger than me.

I f-cking knew all that.

But he was the one who approached me first. He was the one who kissed me first. He was the one who kept insisting on things. And he was the one who made me feel that I was wanted regardless of my flaws. He made me feel that those mistakes were not me; they were just a part of me. Who would not take a risk when it's worth the risk?

And I'm looking for someone to be with for the rest of my life. Is that too much?

So, I get drunk tonight!

This is too much pain.

It was almost midnight when I finally thought I had enough drinks.

The night was chilly. The air was blowing gently. It would be nice to have someone to cuddle with at night.

But I got none. Am I even allowed to have one?

Have I owed the world that much after I had Vri? That I cannot be happy?

AaaaaHHHH! This is f-cking unfair!

Haha!

I wept like a child, unable to hold in the emotions anymore. I really am pregnant.

Others might find me too emotional when I do have enough money, but in this world, it's not the money that would complete someone's existence as a human. There is so much more. Like love.

Aaaah!

"I'm sorry, baby! I'm sorry!" I dropped down onto the cold pavement on the way back to our house.

I felt like I lost so much in one night.

"Oh Miss... need some help?" A young lady came to me and offered her hand.

I peered up and saw how young-looking she is.

"Get away! Do I look that old? I looked prettier than you when I was your age. How old are you?"

"What?" She looked shocked and frightened, taking some steps back away from me.

"HOW OLD ARE YOU? I AM ASKING YOU!"

"20?"

"RUN!"

She screamed and started running.

So what if I had Vri? Does that make me less of a human?

GOSH!!!!

I looked around with my blurry sight and smiled bitterly at how the lights played beautifully in the night while someone like me sprawled somewhere cold and in pain.

But I couldn't just give up!

I snatched my phone from my pocket and dialed a number.

"Dein, pick me up. I need to talk to you. I'll send you my location."

I looked up and prayed desperately that the heavens could take away the pain.

But before I could gaze down, an ample amount of chilly water was splashed on me by a passing car.

Great!

For a moment, a thought just hit me.

If they had known that I am more than financially stable, would they have treated me better?