Chapter 9 Logan

Fuck! She's gone?! I run to the edge.... I shouldn't have left her alone!!

I look down over the edge, I can't see any trace of her, I mind link my Dad:

'Dad I'm worried for Lilah, she was at the waterfall edge when I was on my run, I think she was going to jump, I went to get pants to change and now she's gone.... I don't know if she jumped....' I blurted through our mind link.

A mind link is a connection between packs a bit like an inner walkie talkie if you like that you can communicate through when needed without having to speak out loud. It sure comes in handy for moments like this when I didn't have my mobile on me!

I was so scared right now, my Lilah could have thrown herself into the lake because the fucking Moon Goddess gave me someone I didn't want for a mate! Or I did want her as a mate.... Oh I don't fucking know!

'Son what do you mean? Go and check the lake, I'll send some patrol wolves there now to help. I'll call Beta Trent and Sadie to see if they know where Lilah is, maybe Indie too.' My dad mind linked me back.

Of course he was right, the lake!

I ran down the slope towards the lake edge, trying to see the area where the waterfall descends into, I couldn't see any evidence of Lilah there or on the rocks nearby.

I didn't care how cold the lake would be at this time of the year I dived in, without a second thought, I needed to see if she was there, I needed to help her, if she had jumped perhaps there was still a chance I could save my girl.

I couldn't let her die because of me. I swam toward the area near the waterfall , diving under the water, which was murky with it being disturbed by the water crashing in off the never ending flow from the waterfall. But it was still clear enough to be able to see a little, and I couldn't see Lilah, so down I went again, and again, until my chest was burning.

I had to find her..... I couldn't let her die! Not for me!

I could feel my dad trying to contact me through the mind link but I blocked him out needing to focus my efforts on finding Lilah, she needed me right now.

I'd failed her this morning. Letting her find out in the worst way possible that I had a different mate than we expected, letting her walk in to find Ani on my knee was like torture it truly was. I hated myself, the burning in my chest wasn't nearly enough pain for the pain I had caused Lilah, she deserved so much more than me. I need to find her, I pushed harder as I went down again under the water as there was still no sign of her, dread filling my chest, could she have drowned and be on the bottom of the lake already?

Surely not that quickly?! I needed to keep looking, I owed her that. I dived down again. My chest burning so bad, my heart pounding and I was struggling to breath. My eyes were stinging under the water as they tried to adjust, again I couldn't see her.

Where was she?! Had she drowned? Had my beautiful Lilah drowned?

No! That can't be! I rose back to the surface.

"Logan!" I heard a voice shouting from the banks.

Maybe these were the patrol guys my dad said he'd send to help, I needed them to help me look for her.

I begin to swim toward the source of the voice, my eyes adjusting to afternoon sunshine. I could see it was Xavier one of our warriors and patrol men but also my friend.

"Dude. Answer your mind link would ya?! Del is ok, she is home now"

What?! Oh thank fuck! She listened to me that is something. But part of me was disappointed we didn't get to have our talk.

"Seriously Xav? She's ok? " I yelled as I edged closer to the shore.

"Yeah as ok as she can be I guess" he said passing me his hand to pull be out of the water " but she's home , not in the lake that's the main thing right?" he said with a small smile, telling me he knew the situation I'd found myself in.

A situation I really didn't want to face up to..... a situation that I wasn't sure I knew how to deal with.........

How was this situation going to get any better?? She was hurting I knew that, but I was too, I had wanted her to be my mate, I truly thought she would be........... but instead fate threw us a curveball and now I'm drawn to Ani too.

My Dad expects me to just end things with Lilah now but I still love her and want her, I can't imagine not being with her........ this whole situation doesn't make sense to me........... my pack will all know about Anya by now, they're going to expect things of me, I'm going to be the Alpha one day..... why can't things be more simple?!

If I was a basic pack member I may have got away with rejecting Anya and taking Lilah as a chosen mate but as an Alpha I doubted that would be accepted by the pack, especially not my Dad and right now I had to follow what he expected of me for him to hand the pack down to me...... though I kinda want Ani too, the mate bond is making me drawn to her...... this whole thing is messed up!!

There was already an awkwardness between Lilah and me, though that could have been the fact I was naked......... that would kinda make sense......but with me having a new mate and the expectations on us as mates and as the new Luna and Alpha it would become more and more awkward between Lilah and I, I could sense it.........

'Son, Lilah is home and safe. Why were you with her?! I told you to stay away and focus on things with Anya now she is your mate and will be the packs new Luna one day that needs to be your focus' my dad linked me.

I swear this fucker was going out of his way to aggravate me today, did he have no compassion at all? He knew how close Lilah and I were yet here he was expecting us to cut off all ties immediately and act like it meant nothing?!

'I wasn't with her, I was on a run and saw her looking like she was going to jump from the waterfall Dad, then I couldn't see her and I thought she had ended up in the lake...' I tried to explain, knowing no matter the explanation it wouldn't be good enough for him.

'Well get home son, party to sort and we want to speak to you and Anya, start making plans.. ' he cut the link abruptly.

Jeez not wasting time are we?

I knew I had no choice but to head for home or else my dad would be out looking for me and literally drag me kicking and screaming back, plus despite all the shit that had already gone down today I had to admit I was looking forward to my birthday party. My Mum always made sure I had an amazing birthday party, one that the whole pack joined in with, out on the large playing field usually, with a bonfire going, BBQs, decorations, it was always a big event with me being the next Alpha so I knew it would be something to look forward to, probably even more special with it being my birthday of the day I shifted.

Just need to get through talking to my Dad first.........