Chapter 3 The Best Nostalgia

Chapter 3

Steamed rice, fried milkfish and hotdogs, mushroom soup, chocolate ice cream for dessert, and a half pitcher of iced tea, in my small wooden dining table. I can say that's a real meal, beside the window wide open. I enjoyed my lunch for one hour, getting my head free from work for a while. A burp had confirmed such a wonderful meal. I cleaned the table and did the dishes.

The wind blowing so generously from the window makes my eyes drop, lying a bit relaxed on my bed. 'I cannot exist without you – I am forgetful of everything but seeing you again – My life seems to stop there – I see no further'. Those lines, it's like telling me something. I love what it says and want to give it more thought but...

"Celestine", it's the very first time of hearing my name in a husky tone. My heart skipped a beat, I can't deny. Searching for the voice, I regret I didn't pretend that I didn't hear anything. Walking towards me is Crimson Flores. I hear my heart beating louder. "In Spanish it means heaven or heavenly. Such a beautiful name", he said looking at me intently, maybe looking for some proof of heaven in me, and will surely be disappointed because I don't look angelic.

"It is", I said when I was able to gasp some air. " If not with my last name", I continued

"Really?" he faced me eagerly. I got him wondering

"Falta. It means lacking or missing" I said like blurting out an ugly truth

"Oh, missing heaven. I see. Nevertheless, a beautiful lady" he said, giving me that broad heart-melting smile, left me with the deafening beat of my heart and reddening cheeks.

Usually, it's the typical crying myself to sleep. But that afternoon, I woke up with tears in my eyes. It's something inside that I couldn't always ignore. It hurts so much --- so much that my tears won't stop from falling down my face.

Beautiful dream. That was on the first day of our freshman year, one of the most unforgettable moments in my life I would never write on any slam book 'cause I want to keep it to myself. It's been a decade, and to dream about it so detailed, I cried even more.

"Crimson is a strong, deep red color that means strong, vivid and power. Not very far from the person standing right in front of you. I am Crimson Flores, sixteen years old, graduated from Xavier Academy..."

That was Crimson Flores in front of the class on our first day of school in the never-ending "introduce yourself" portion. I remember him in his white polo, khaki pants and white flat rubber shoes. His dark shiny hair touches his thin curvy eyebrows that reminds me of the young Justin Bieber.

This is bad. I think I really do miss him. Becky's call this morning is starting to sink in. Reunion. It's making me feel nervous. Reunion amidst these. I don't know how to react anymore. The heavens seem like being too hard on me.

April. It's his birth month. Pepper's idea is not a surprise and it doesn't feel good at all. I feel like the heavens worked on something against me while I'm away. I know that I have no right to feel anything against them --- but I feel like I've been cheated. I was Crim's seatmate and tutor. We get along so well and we were more than just that. I felt that I swear. I would never mistake the way he looks at me, the way he calls my name, and Pepper's never there. Now, I'm the one not in there. Something inside really hurts.

***

"And it's hard to let you go,

Though I know that I must try

I feel like I've been cheated

'Cause we never said goodbye"

Headphones on and it's 3:50 in the morning. The lines seem to hit so hard. A name is again echoing inside of a mind at peace. Irresistible. Then as usual, more than ust the name. An image, harboring in such a way.

It's Saturday and someone's trying to get back to sleep 'cause yesterday was like hell, meeting deadlines for next week's most anticipated class reunion. Twenty-ninth of April. The date was set and it's final.

***

"These two are actually daring," Becky said holding a white off-shoulder gown looking at me like a professional fashion designer. "But this looks better for you" she said again holding a hot pink long dress on her right, getting annoyed at me who's having a mouthful of cheeseburger she brought when she arrived early in the morning. I seem to be disinterested to what she's saying and I admit that's true. A black gown too is lying on her lap. She says this and that but they all look daring to me. I'm not that fond of fashion, but I can tell if it looks good on me or not. She gave me that long stare like the way I stare at her clothes.

'Oh no, she's serious', I thought, avoiding her gaze. I want to ask her about the delicious cheeseburger but I held back, thinking it will annoy her even more. I know that Crim will be there since it will be held at their hotel but I don't want him to think that I'm all on the physical.

"You can have more than these cheeseburgers there" said she, looking at me as if I'm a beggar who found a treasure on the garbage can.

"Ouch"

"And you'll gonna thank God, having a friend like me, 'cause you'll not just gonna look like a contractual employee"

"But I am"

"Oh God, give me a break" said she and had a bite of the burger

"Of course, I know what you're saying" I said, this time with a spoonful of macaroni soup. "But you know what, what's on the outside is just easy to hide, but not on the inside", now I'm the one getting annoyed. I know that I don't have to hide from Becky when it comes to me and Crim, she's a friend since college, but there are still times that it annoys me whenever it's being brought to the surface.

"Need to take a bath now, okay?" said she in a normal tone then put her clothes back to her luggage.

"Yeah," I answered softly.