Chapter 9 Make Up

It wasn't the first time I was in Jeremy's room, but this was the first time it felt strange being there. His large room suddenly felt small and suffocating. The soft blue rugs that covered the floor surface suddenly felt like eggshells. Like, if I exacted my weight too much, it would crack. So I stood afloat.

We stood at an awkward distance and stared at each other for a long moment. I couldn't read his expression, I wasn't sure he could read mine. I broke the eye contact and turned my gaze to the rug space around my feet. Out of the corner of my eyes, I saw him seat on the bed. I knew I had to say something, but I just didn't know how to start. I had no idea what reaction I would get out of him and that scared me even more. I didn't know if he was still mad at more, or if he still felt hurt? I had no idea. What if I tendered my apology and he just told me to 'get out!'? That would hurt.

Did he still like me? I wasn't sure.

Could I tell him that I liked him too? No!

"Did......" I heard Jeremy begin, but then he broke off and cleared his throat. He wasn't looking at me when I looked at him, he was staring into the space in front of him. He looked as if he was seriously considering whether to keep talking or not. It took him a moment but then he spoke again.

"Did she cause you any trouble?" He asked and looked up at me. His gaze caught me off guard and it took me a moment to realize that he had asked me a question.

"Uhm, sorry?" I blinked.

"I said, did she cause you any trouble?" He repeated.

"She? Who?" I asked.

"My mum. I mean my mum. Hope she did not bother you?" He asked again.

"Oh! Your mum? No! No way! She was nice! I can't believe it took me so long to meet her." I laughed nervously. "She's very nice. It's a shame, I avoided her for nothing. Not that I put in too much work into that, she was always unavailable. I don't think I can count how many times we ever met on one hand, I wouldn't exhaust all the fingers on that hand. But she's actually really warm. Very nice." I knew I was talking too much, I was blabbing but I just couldn't stop. I feared the awkward stretch of silence that might follow should I go quiet. Plus, Jeremy didn't look away. His eyes remained on me and that played on my nerves.

He did a small laugh and looked at the floor, and for a moment, I was sure I would run out of the room if he had any bitter words to say. My legs were literally turning towards the door!

But his eyes returned to mine and they were warm, fond and embracing. Like the usual gaze I knew everyday only a few days ago.

"She was always available." He laughed again. "She was always ready to steal you away, but I kept the both of you apart."

I was confused.

"How?" I asked.

He stayed quiet for a moment, grinning from ear to ear. It was reliving to see his smile again. I felt warm inside. I didn't even know I had missed him that much. His voice, his smile, our cheap banters! I had missed all of it!

"She wanted to meet you, but I know what she's like. She would torture you with an interrogation into the deepest depths of your past, present and future. Then, she'll traumatize you with her entire life story! Seasoned with a spice of all my darkest secretes. She'll go as far as telling you the last time I wet my bed, I tell you!"

He complained fondly.

"Oh, she's already done that." I said.

"What?!" Jeremy screamed in indignation, his face pale.

"Oh, no! Not the last time you wet your bed, I promise. Just the life stories. Her life story, my life story." I clarified. Jeremy laughed.

"Oh mum! She's so predictable." He laughed again. "Did she tell you her love story?" He asked.

"How she met your dad?" I giggled.

"She'll never miss that! Never!" He said and we both laughed.

"She does that with every girl I've ever liked! She's no good with secretes. One time, she told this girl I liked her before I even had the time to decide if I really liked her. I did have a crush on her, and I made the mistake of telling my mum. Left the two of them for a moment and the next moment, my crush tells me she likes me too. Said my mum already told her how I felt! I was appalled! I had to date her under duress!" He laughed. I laughed uneasily.

"Two weeks we were done! Turns out I didn't like her that much. Mum was too hasty. I learnt my lesson to never let her alone in the same space as anyone I like." He noticed my uneasiness, he tilted his head questioningly.

"Uhm...." I shrugged. "Uhm, how old were you?" I asked

"I was 10. Why?" He asked.

"Uhm. And she let you like someone?" I said.

His eyes widened for a moment, then he threw his head back in laughter.

"She didn't let or not let me do anything. I liked the girl first, or at least I thought I did. I just told her how I felt." He said laughing so hard his eyes began to tear up.

"And she let you continue liking the girl?" I insisted.

"You know you can't control people's feelings right?" He paused and made an attempt at a serious face, but he failed and just went on laughing.

"I'm not saying...." I started, but he interrupted.

"Wait, are you judging me right now?" This time, his attempt at a serious face pulled through.

"No! I'm not judging you!" I cried.

"Is this why you have been avoiding me? Because you think I'm too young to 'like' someone?" His seriousness was beginning to go deadly and his brows were furrowed, in disappointment. I was scared I was hurting him again.

"No! I avoided you because I like you too!" I spoke before I could think.

Jeremy froze.