Chapter 2 CH 2

''I've marked out these places and they are not offering anymore'' I say frustratingly to my friend Paula. She sat down beside me pulling out another newspaper. My eyes shine out in gratitude as I thanked her with a hug

''What could I have done without you'' I beamed at her taking my phone and dialing tons of numbers yet again

After last morning event, it would be foolish of me to sit down and be waiting for those companies I have applied my credentials to. I knew within my heart that I needed to leave the house often, at this point I am very much desperate for anything

''It would have been fun to see you with a bandage over your head'' she says laughing as she starts speaking to the phone

Paula will always try to make light of every fight I have with my mother, her words are that these fights are so very unpredictable and my mom has to be a normal mother if she is causing fuse about my unemployment 'This thing happens in every single home, yours is worst cause you didn't study what she expected you to' she always tells me and no matter how I think about it, it doesn't make sense in anyway

As a mother, isn't she supposed to be patient with me as I walk my way through the labor market, ahhh there is no petting wherever she is concerned

Another look at Paula and I know ''they are not available too?" she shook her head

''Am afraid so'' she say slowly ''Look we will figure something out okay?"

Till when? I thought, next time I ever think of dishing a meal from this house she will probably toss me into the river

''You are just too worried for your own good, put these things off your mind, it's that easy'' she says in her comforting voice

Paula is someone I have known all my life, probably from the day I was born. We've been there for each other at our worst. She is plumb and maybe in some people's book she is short but has a catchy figure and her smile is to die for

She carries herself like a goddess and at the early stage teenage stage of our life I was very jealous of her. Now she all fazing over me and tell me how spectacular I am but I know she is one of the best things that have happened in my life

''You know what?'' she drops the newspaper standing up ''this is not working, let's forget about this for now trust me the mood is so fucking off''

She is right, with my sulky mood there is no way in heaven this will work plus my bad luck of calling an entire newspaper without having an opening has rubbed off this very one

''You are right, what do you want to do, watch some movie?" I suggested and she laughs

''E be like you no too like yourself, once she hears the sound of your room TV your own don finish''

I laugh as she says this, she is very correct. My mother is probably lurking around with her hand folded on her back as she walks around the house with her head held up high looking for one disturbing I might do which includes eating her meal

''You are right, I can't believe I didn't think of that. Now what?"

''Very easy. Let's go out, take a stroll together and talk. It will help to calm your nerves down'' she suggested

I took her idea, stood up and started dressing. Wore a black huggy leggings and a black tank top that lays low showing my lower abdomen. Quickly I was done as I wore a flip flop

''Always the master at been fast, any company you work with will be so lucky'' she teased and a smile tug to my lips as I accepted her words

If only such time will come as quickly as I wish it to be then I will be very happy right now. She stands and we left the room walking to the living as we made for the exit

Mother is sitting on a chair outside the house, she spotted me immediately and the look she gave me can freeze anybody to death. Having already gotten used to those looks before I looked away concentrating on where I was walking to

''Good evening mom'' Paula greeted her bending low on her knees

She smiled so lovingly with her and utter adoration ''Good evening my daughter how are you''

''I am fine ma'' she responded

''Alright my good child, don't forget to greet your mother for me when you get home and tell her I will see her tomorrow as schedule'' she said to her

''I will'' we started walking away

''That is some responsible child'' my mother said in a high pitched voice ''She has her own business and striving very well, not some useless child of mine who is nothing but a waste of money and space. I blame her father for making me waste my money''

I closed my eyes tightly as more of her insults are been hurled at me. 'Am use to it' I tell myself there is no way those words should still have any effect on me. But am only deceiving myself because they still do

''Do not listen to her, you are the most intelligent person I know, definitely not worthless in any way'' Paula said holding my hand as the words spilling from my own mother become distant

''I would do anything to get myself a good job right now, I am fucking tired of all this'' I say in a bitter tune

''We will figure something out'' she assures me, like she always does when things take an ugly head start

Why can't I just receive a good phone call, a call back from all those companies I've applied to. Am fucking tired and very exhausted but I believe it will get better someday