Chapter 5 5.

The bell rings.

Emma tells her it must be her nephew and goes right to answer. I go back to my corner of solitude and am again ignored by Stan.

Emma arrives with her nephew and...

Wow! He's a cute boy.

He is very handsome. He has straight black hair, blue eyes, and a mouth that oh my God...

Emma introduces him to everyone in a bit of a hurry because her target is me. She must have noticed my exchanging glances with Stan when I asked for water minutes ago.

''Jaden, this is Samantha. ''

He comes over to me. He greets me and kisses me on the cheek and...

Wow!

He's not only cute, but he's also smelly. I like that. Let's sit in the living room at his request.

I didn't look right at Stan, but I'm pretty sure he followed us with his eyes. Jaden tells me about school and that he is also a senior. He is funny and has a slightly husky voice which I find extremely sexy.

And I can't stop staring at his mouth. I think I'm a mouth junkie. He, on the other hand, seems more interested in my cleavage. I guess I don't care after all who I wore this dress for; it seems not to have been interesting.

After a while, they call us back so that we can join them for dinner. I sit next to my mother, facing Jenna and Jaden because Stan is on my left and Emma is on his left.

Stan seems to be annoyed with me because he talks to everyone else, but when he looks at me, he has his face tied up. I do the same and talk even more with Jaden while they talk about something else, but everyone doesn't seem to notice our glaring exchanges with each other.

Just then, Stan gets up to bring a dish that is still missing from the table. Then he arrives with a lasagna.

My heart freezes.

He glances at me and I realize he has prepared this for me. I feel even less funny now. He sits down and says one more thing that breaks me up:

''Emma doesn't like lasagna.''

I end up laughing, but in a disguised way. He then says that he is going to serve something else for her there, and I don't even care. But he made this lasagna for me, that's what interests me, and I serve myself and try to get him to look at me to thank me somehow, but he's still ignoring me.

Emma is losing. I can see out of the corner of my eye that she eats that whatever, but I'm sure lasagna is much better. I laugh disguisedly again.

I look around the table, everyone, as well as Stan and I, is enjoying the lasagna, which is wonderful. I have to show my gratitude for what he has done.

Then I take my left hand down from the table and place it on my lap.

I continue to eat normally with my right hand and look at everyone who is in an animated conversation about some party that took place at I don't know who's house last summer.

My mother is on the lookout for what her upcoming parties will be like from now on, and from her expectant smile, she seems to love it.

Jaden still looks at my cleavage from time to time. I also see Stan looking at him disapprovingly and Jaden disguises it. I build up courage seeing that no one will notice and put my hand on Stan's leg.

I swear he's holding his breath now. He stops eating for a moment, but he disguises it by pretending not to be affected. But I know he is. He tries again to take part in the conversation, and I drift my hand up.

And Wow! He is totally hard.

I can feel it right over your jeans. I love the feeling it gives me. And I slide my hand all over the edge because I want to feel him like this, I do not know how many times I've wished I could hold his cock like this in my hands, how many times I've fantasized about it, but now the feeling is even better than imagining, that I even feel a growing warmth in certain parts of my body, that makes me clench my legs.

I see he closes his eyes for a second. After all, it is not only me who is enjoying this. And I continue. But he puts his hand over mine and stops my hand there. He doesn't look at me, he just says:

''The dessert.''

Only then do I realize he will have to get up and it will be obvious to everyone what state he is in because it will be impossible not to notice. I know, I felt it.

I end up laughing again and disguise it. He slowly takes my hand away and is about to get up, but he looks in my direction. I give him an "I'm sorry" look, but Jenna says:

''No, let me get it.''

He breathes a relieved breath as he smiles at Jenna. I feel relieved too. I loved that adrenaline rush. He goes back to talking to the others, but I know his thoughts are completely on me.

...

We finish dessert. I dare not put my hand there anymore, although I wanted to do it again.

...

We finish dinner and they go by the pool to drink wine while Jaden and I sit by the pool and talk some more. He tells me about parties and places I should go, already leaving an invitation. I pick up his cell phone and write my number. He isn't that interested in my cleavage anymore. I don't know if it's because he knows me better now or because of the looks Stan gave him during dinner.

I see Stan looks in our direction several times. Remembering our little closeness at the dinner table is not letting me concentrate on the things cute Jaden tells me.

I excuse him and tell him I'll be right back. He picks up his cell phone and I think he'll be fine without me for a while. I tell my mother that my head is not right, and she wants to leave, but Stan says that there is a painkiller in the bathroom after I go upstairs.

I like to have that excuse to take another look around his house. I go up the stairs. His house doesn't say much about him, a few paintings, modern furniture, and light tones on the walls.

I get to the bathroom, which is near a door that I assume is his room. I am curious, but not to the point of breaking into his room, no matter how much I want to. I enter the bathroom; I see the painkillers, but my head isn't hurting. It was just an excuse to get away from him for a while and breathe peacefully again. I look in the mirror and take a deep breath. I think I'm feeling better already. The door is open.

''Stan?''

He is there, and it looks like he was just waiting for me to come out. There goes my heart racing again.

''What are you doing here? I mean, why...''

He interrupts me:

''I said I was going to get a coat. I don't know. I said something.''

He looks anxious, like me. He comes close. Goodbye firmness of the legs. He moves closer to my face, looks at my cleavage, then back to my face, and says:

''Do you want to kill me?''

I don't answer and he continues:

''I ask you not to wear those pajamas to your house so I can't even imagine you like that, and you come to my house dressed like that?''

He has a smile, but I can't decipher it, because it's a kind of insane smile. I dare say:

''Yeah, but I guess you don't mind, I had to show you.''

Stan pulls away a little. I regret what I said. He bites his lips and closes his eyes for a while, then laughs, breaking up with me again. He moves a little closer again:

''I noticed exactly the time you took off that coat and I swear I wanted to... ''

I come closer, getting very close to his body:

''How badly did you want what?''

He has a regret on his face again and I hate it when he gets like that because we go back to reality where he thinks he can't want me. He says:

''Do you have any idea what you did to me at that hour at the dinner table?''

Just remembering it makes me that way again, so I just listen to him continue:

''I wanted to throw you on that table right there and do it.''

I want him to continue, but he doesn't speak. It's as if it makes him lose control. I want him to lose control, but even I know that now is not the right time. Now how to explain this to the part of my body that is throbbing.

''We agreed that... ''

I interrupt him now:

''No, I never wanted that.''

''So that's why you want to make me crazy with jealousy of that boy?''

I'm surprised that he took that on. And I like to hear that.

''Maybe.''

He stares at me. I continue:

''And you know very well that I know she is Emma, and you know I don't like her. You are teasing me in the same way.''

''I didn't bring her here to provoke you, I only invited her because she practically made me... Look, that's beside the point.''

''It comes to the point and since you want me and Jaden to be alone and talk so much and that would be great for you so my mom doesn't notice your crush on me, then I'm going to go over there now and kiss that hot mouth a lot.''

He is surprised. It worked.

I turn around and he holds my arm, making me look at him again. He just says:

''Please don't do that.''

He has a sad look on his face. I will not fall for that. If he can do what he wants with his aunt, then I can do what I want with my nephew. I challenge:

''Give me a good reason.''

He closes his eyes for a second, then opens them, holds my waist, and the next thing I know, he is kissing me.

And again it is slow, smooth, and warm.

And just knowing that mouth is on mine, my heart speeds up even more and I want more...

But he turns away and heads toward the stairs to go back down. This man is still going to kill me with frustration.

Now I know why he kissed me like that. I haven't seen him for two days. I covertly interrogate my mother at lunch, because I am becoming an expert at this:

''Mom, where's Stan?''

She looks at me. I feel like it has caught me. But she just says something that I had an idea about, but that I didn't want to hear:

''He went on a trip.''

I say nothing because it makes me sad. She continues:

''He went to Toronto.''

''Really?''

She just states:

''Yeah. He'll be there for a couple of weeks.''

I hate to hear that, but I have to pretend I don't care, which is even worse. I go back to eating. My mother now questions:

''Why?''

I feign the slightest interest and I hate lying to her like this, but I have to:

''I don't know, I got used to his presence.''

She just smiles.

...

It's Friday night. My mom is going out with a guy that she says Stan introduced her to, some friend of his from work.

''Promise you'll be okay, honey?''

''I'm talking to Haylie here on Skype, and Jill is supposed to come over in a little while so we can watch some series, I don't know, talk.''

My mother says hello to Haylie, who greets her back. My mom smiles. After she realized that I have been keeping in touch with Jaden, Jill, she feels better, for her, I am no longer alone and maybe in her thoughts, Jaden will be the guy who will make me not feel alone and who will be my great passion.

Little does she know that it already filled this position and the more I miss Stan, the more I realize how much I am enjoying him.

My mom goes out with this guy. She says his name is. Ed, she seems happy and if she's okay, that's fine with me. Jill arrives and I call her to my side so she can meet Haylie. I go to get a soda and snacks so we can watch the series and by the time I get back Jill and Haylie seem like old acquaintances and I love it. I just don't love the fact that the conversation that brought them together is about me and Stan.

I hear Jill say as soon as I reach the room:

''Yeah, she's a bore now that he's not here anymore.''

They laugh and I frown at them both, but I end up laughing. We say goodbye to Haylie and start the series.

The Vampire Diaries is not a good choice for anyone who is feeling like I am. So many romances, so many cats, so many kisses, so many footprints, and I...

Well, I keep watching, because I can't do anything about it. My cell phone rings. Jill looks at me curiously.

''Hello, Samantha?''

She rolls her eyes but then looks forward. Jill is kind of crazy.

''Hi Jaden, how are you?''

''I was here and well...''

Jill tells me softly:

''What does he want?''

I reply:

''I don't know.''

She signals for me to continue talking. I continue:

''Yes.''

''I was wondering if you didn't want to... well, go out with me tomorrow?''

I say softly back to Jill: ''He wants to go out with me!''

She vibrates. I laugh. She says:

''Say yes!''

I end up laughing and he questions:

''And then?'' I decide to come back to the conversation:

''Sure, we will.''

He seems happy on the other side.

...

We are going to a place he talked about a lot the night we had dinner at his house.

I shake my head to forget about him. Today I want to concentrate on this moment.

Jaden looks so cute and sexy in that white shirt, and I like that I'm drawn to the sound of his laughter today and also the way he runs his tongue over his lips after he's gone for a while without speaking.

Okay, maybe I should do it the way Stan agreed with me (I can't believe I'm thinking about him again) and wait. The bad thing is that he doesn't want me to be distracted along the way. Yeah, there are only four months left now, and...

Damn, I'm thinking about him again. Let's get back to reality then.

''Do you want something to drink?''

''Huh? Oh, I do. But no alcohol, please.'' Jaden asks:

''Really?''

''Yeah.''

I say laughing and complete:

''I don't like it.'' He still smiles, as if he doesn't understand. We get our drinks and sit down near the counter. The bartender seems interested in Jaden.

Awesome, I think ironically.

He notices I am not finding this at all interesting and invites me to go near the dance floor. We meet some of his colleagues and chat a bit. There is a nice girl among them, Courtney, who soon makes me feel a little more at ease and tells me about Jaden's popularity among girls. I don't know if this is a warning or if she is congratulating me.

Jaden says he's going to get another drink. He takes a moment, then comes back and suggests that we dance. I feel a little dizzy on the dance floor and say:

''I think I'd better sit down, things are spinning.''

He laughs and says:

''It must be because of the drinking.''

I look at him and say:

''But there is no alcohol in my drink.''

He still smiles. I just say:

''I can't believe you did that, you idiot!''

''Hey, take it easy!''

''Fuck you Jaden!''

''Are you furious about this?''

''What do you think?''

I get out of there. I am outside with a cell phone in hand and Jaden arrives.

''What are you doing?''

''Calling a cab.''

''No, if you want to leave, I'll take you.''

''I just want at the moment to stay away from you.''

He looks frustrated now.

''But why did you get so angry?''

''Are you thinking that I am one of those girls that you fill with drinks and then do with them whatever you want?''

He seems surprised to hear this but doesn't answer back. I continue:

''I thought you were a nice guy, that you were my friend.''

He interrupts me:

''I don't want to be your friend.'' I come a little closer and say:

''All the more reason for me to stay away from you. ''

And I look back to where I imagine the cab will come. He approaches and says:

'' I don't want to be your friend because I like you. ''

He looks a little embarrassed. I don't understand and I think he realizes this because he continues:

''I drank alcohol and put alcohol in your drink just so I could have the courage to tell you I can't get you out of my head.''

Huh?

Why don't the men I know who are supposedly "in my head" just come right out and say it to my face? Why do you have to have all this drama first?

What the hell!

I say nothing. He still looks at me blankly and then asks:

''And then? Can I take you home now?''

...

We arrive in front of my house. It is still early, about ten o'clock at night. I go to unbuckle myself from the belt, but Jaden holds my hand and says:

''Please don't get a poor impression of me.''

I take a deep breath.

''I can try.''

I get out of the car and so does he. I walk in silence to the door. He looks sad. I then stop and turn to him and say:

''Okay, forget about it, okay. Just promise that...''

But I don't finish the sentence because he is kissing me and I am so needy that the warmth of his body and the way he is kissing me with such need makes me allow the kiss.

...

I finish brushing my teeth to go to sleep after having devoured some ice cream, thinking about the way Jaden kissed me by surprise.

My mother loved to see my face when I arrived. I think I stamped it my surprise even after I entered.

I prepare to put the blanket over my body when I feel my cell phone vibrate under my pillow.

A new message.

"I miss you so much."

It is not from a number that I have saved on my phone, but from the profile icon picture, I can see that it is Stan.