Chapter 4 It can't be what I'm thinking.

TAMARA

I have been feeling pretty sick since I got back home last month.

At first, I thought it was just my body trying to get used to the air and water of my home country again, but I started feeling nauseous on the fifth week of being back home.

Sometimes when I first woke up, sometimes through out the night, and sometimes just certain smells or foods would turn my stomach.

I just figured that being in another country for a few years had altered my immune system.

"Tammy sweetie, if you aren't feeling any better, maybe you should make a doctor's appointment? You may need antibiotics." My worried mother suggested as she felt my forehead for a nonexistent fever.

"Yeah, mom. I will. Iwill call after breakfast." I promised her and walked to the kitchen.

Just as I reached the threshold of the kitchen, the smell of the eggs my sister was cooking made my stomach churn.

I grimaced and backed away from the kitchen.

There was no way I was going in there until the smell dissipated.

Looks like I was going to make the phone call first, so I walked toward my room to get my phone.

"I thought you were going to eat?" My mom called out as I passed by the living room to get to the stairs.

"Yeah, I was going to but the smell of eggs made me nauseous. I don't really feel like eating now." I answered without a second thought but something I said must have caught my mom's attention, because a second later, she was sprinting up the stairs after me.

She hadn't even put down the book down that she was reading.

"Mom? Everything okay?"

"Yeah." She said, trying to sound nonchalant but she was obviously out of breath.

"I was just thinking, we haven't really talked much about your personal life while you were in new York. It was always just about how school went."

I sat down on the edge of my bed and she sat down beside me.

"Okay, so... What do you want to know? I didn't really have much time for a social life since I was always studying..." I wondered why she was acting so strange.

"Sweetie..." My mother looked like she was choosing her words very carefully.

"I know you are an adult now but I hope you won't mind if I ask if you had any boyfriends?"

I was honestly a little surprised by that question.

My mother and I had never really talked much about boys.

I had my suspicions that she thought I was lesb!an because I never really talked about them either and I only hung out with girls through out high school.

"Uh... Well..." My face turned red.

"About four months in, I started seeing a boy, but it didn't last very long. We were both too busy with our classes and eventually just drifted apart. It wasn't important enough to really mention..."

"What about closer to the time you came home? Or maybe right after you got home?"

My brows furrowed in confusion at her question, but I immediately thought of Royal.

We may have only been together one night, but damn, he knew how to make an impression. Then a thought struck me.

We had been together that night.

Two nights before I came home.

For the first time since we woke up together, I finally questioned if we had even used any kind of protection.

We were drunk and, admittedly, not as smart as our sober selves would have been.

"Tamara? Are you okay? You look pale..." She placed her hand on my knee and I stared at the floor in front of me.

"Mom... There was someone... Two nights before I came home..." Tears sprang to my eyes with the realization there was a possibility I was pregnant.

"Who?" My mother asked and I squeezed my eyes shut, but it didn't stop the tears from running down my face.

I didn't want my mom to think I was just whoring around while I was away from home.

"Someone I met at a bar." I choked out as my mom wiped away my tears.

I turned to look at her.

"But he was the only one I ever did that with. I'm sorry. I never...."

She hushed me and gave a loving smile.

"It's okay, baby. You don't have to explain yourself. I know you are not that type." She said gently, pulling me into a hug.

"We just need to call the doctor to be sure first, okay? No need to get yourself so worked up over a maybe."

I could feel my whole body shaking as she held me and I buried my face in her shoulder.

"And even if you are, we will handle it together. I promise. We can get through anything as long as we do it together." She said, stroking my hair.

I could only nod as the sobs racked my entire body.

She held me until my crying stopped and I pulled back to wipe my face.

"I...Is this why you ran up the stairs after me?" I asked, looking down at the floor again.

In my peripheral, I saw her nod.

"When I was pregnant with both you and your sister, the smell of eggs made me sick to my stomach. That had never bothered you before, so it just struck me as odd." She explained.

I nodded slowly and my mom wrapped both of her hands around one of my trembling hands.

"Call and make a doctor's appointment. I will drive you whenever it is time, okay?" She gave my hand a gentle squeeze.

I nodded again but turned to look at her.

"Please don't tell dad... Or Sonia... Not yet."

I wasn't ready for anyone to know, just in case this turned out to be nothing.

However, the more I thought about it, the less I thought it was just a stomach bug.

"I won't, Tammy. I'll keep it between us." She promised and kissed my forehead.

"I will be downstairs if you need me okay?" I nodded weakly and grabbed my phone to make a call to the doctor's office.

My mother and I walked into the house in total silence.

My mind was still reeling from the test results.

Both the blood test and the urine test confirmed that I was, in fact, carrying the child of a man I barely knew!

Someone I had no idea how to contact.

Wordlessly, I walked up the stairs to go to my room and lay down.

I needed to take some time to process this.

As I walked down the hall, passed my sister's room, I heard a familiar voice in the midst of other voices that I didn't know.

I poked my head into her room and saw she was watching something and laughing at her computer.

Was that Royal's voice?

I couldn't be sure.

I would have to see the face to match the voice.

"Sis? What are you watching?" I asked, knocking on the open door.

She paused it and looked up, still fighting giggles.

She had always loved music ever since she we were in high school.

"You know the group DIAMOND right? I am sure you heard all about them while you were in New York"

The blank expression on my face was all the confirmation that she needed to realize I had no idea what she was talking about.

"Come here. I will show you." She slid her desk chair over and pressed play on her video again.

"This one is Edwin. He's the youngest. That one over there is Grey. This adorable one over here is Tony, but don't let his cuteness fool you. He can go from zero to a hundred" she snapped her fingers.

"like that." Right after her explanation of this "tony" guy, the camera panned to an all too familiar face.

"Royal..." I breathed out quietly, my eyes locked on the screen.

He really hadn't been lying the night that we met.

My eyes followed him as he moved across the screen, goofing off with his bandmates.

"Yeah, most people call him....wait. How did you know that?" My sister questioned, her head snapping to look at me with a surprised and confused expression.

"You wouldn't believe me even if I told you..." I said, shaking my head and crossing my arms over my stomach.

She stared at me for a moment before her jaw dropped.

"Tamara... Did you actually meet him?" She asked, turning her whole body toward me.

I had done way more than that, but I didn't know how to tell her that.

I just nodded and looked back at the now paused screen that showed him smiling brightly.

"But I didn't know he was in diamond or whatever you called it. I just knew his name was Royal and that he is funny and sweet." I said and bit my lip.

"How did you even cross paths with him?" My sister asked me, completely enthralled by the fact I had met an idol she really liked.

I thought for a while before sighing.

She really wasn't going to leave me alone about it until she got some information out of me.

"Okay, but if I tell you, it has to stay between the two of us. If it gets out, I will deny it and you know damn well that he will." I said seriously.

She held up her right hand.

"I swear. No one will know but us." She playfully hit my shoulder.

"Now tell me." She whined.

I took in a deep breath and ran through that night's events in my mind.

"I went to a bar near my apartment to just kind of have some fun for one of my last nights in new York for a while. Hi oreyus on+2348074145091 to be added to Story headquarters room for more stories. I saw a guy at the bar who looked kind of upset and lonely so I approached him just to be friendly." I ran a hand through my hair.

"You always were the kind to find the one person in the crowd who needed a friend." She said, leaning on her desk and looking at me.

"After we started talking and he found out that I didn't know very much about diamond crew, he opened up some more and told me his name. He was so kind, and so funny. God, we just talked until the bar shut down." I smiled fondly as I recalled the memory.

"And then..." I quickly cut myself off as I realized what I was about to say.

my face turning a bright tomato shade of red. That didn't not go unnoticed by my usually very unobservant sister.

"And then? What happened?" She asked, her eyes widening.

If I tried to lie she would have seen right through it and would have gotten the truth out of me any way.

I looked away before continuing, starting to feel anxious and embarrassed.

"We weren't exactly ready for the night to end... So we went back to my apartment..." My voice got quieter with every word.

"Just to talk and drink some more."

When I heard no sound coming from my sister, I looked over at her hesitantly.

"You expect me to believe that you took him back to your apartment just to talk?" She asked, chin resting in her palm.

"I am not that kind of girl ! We really did!" I said defensively, before I blushed again and my face fell.

"At first..."

I felt so embarrassed from admitting this.

I hid my face in my hands and rested my elbows on her desk.

I could practically hear her jaw drop and the screech that erupted from her throat was very reminiscent of the one I had heard over the phone when Royal and I woke up.

"What?!" She pulled my hands from my face and turned me to look at her.

"You, Tamara slept with my Royal, and you didn't even know he was an idol?"

I quickly clamped a hand over her mouth.

"Keep your voice down! Dad doesn't know at all and mom doesn't even know who with yet!" I hissed, trying to keep my voice low.

"But... Yeah, I kind of knew. I didn't know which group and I didn't care. I liked him for him not because he was an idol. If not for some girls talking about his idol group when we got to my apartment, and then him hushing me before I could say his name, I would never have known. When we got into the apartment he tried to explain himself and I told him he didn't have to. He wanted to be Royal for a day, not a star or whatever you all know him for"

"Our Royal" She quickly interjected before cocking her head to the side.

"What do you mean by 'mom doesn't know who with yet'? You told her you slept with someone?" She asked and before I could even answer I could see the gears turning in her head.

"It's been six weeks since you came home... You said you slept with him two nights before coming home, right? You had a doctor's appointment today..." She gasped and it looked like her eyes were ready to bulge right out of her head.

"Holy shit ! Tamara... Are you p..."

"Yes." I quickly cut her off but my voice was soft and even I could hear it break a little.

I held my breath and waited for a response.

"O...Oh..." She stammered, all teasing and joking tones gone from her voice.

"Is... Is it something that you're happy about?"

Was I?

I mean, I had always dreamt of being a mom but I never had imagined that it would happen like this.

"I honestly have no idea..."