Chapter 6 The Painful Discovery

The Painful Discovery

My husband woke up the next day and greeted me happily with a smiling face as though we slept peacefully last night. But I was mad at him, however, I reluctantly answered his greeting, but in a way, he would notice that I wasn't happy with him. He did not even bother himself, but simply said to me, 'You are not looking bright this morning. Maybe you should take a day off and have some rest. You are looking sick, see a doctor. I am going to the bathroom, I want to go and take my bath and head to the office. Maybe I should have my breakfast in the office. You are looking very weak already, I don't want to disturb you further,' he said and left the bedroom for the bathroom. I was very mad at his behavior as though nothing went wrong between us last night. I became very worried and didn't know what to think, do or believe anymore.

The next day, I went to his office, took the memory card off the camera, and replaced it with another one. I came back home and my friends were already at my house waiting for me. I entertained them a lot and we had hours of talk and good times together in my house. They left around evening, and I remembered the memory card I brought home. I quickly got my laptop, slot in the memory card, and fainted over what I saw. When I regain consciousness, I watched the video again in full and I saw what I would never imagine that my husband could do. From the footage, I saw that he does it with the girls when he wants it and how he wants it. I was very angry and highly infuriated. So many thoughts of what to do came to my mind. I thought of poisoning him to death, pouring hot water on him, stabbing him while asleep, going on air to expose and disgrace him and his ministry, or divorcing him. While thinking all these things, I heard a voice that spoke to me and said, "You foolish woman! Did you see how happy and relaxed your husband is in sin? This is how happy and relaxed you should have made him be in holiness and in doing my work which I have called him. What he is looking for aside, which the devil has used to trap and enslave him now, is what he has inside and in you, but you denied him and have given the devil the room to trap him. His soul is lost already, it is now left for you to help restore his soul, or to allow the soul to remain lost till it becomes irredeemable. The choice is yours to make. However, do not forget that the soul of your husband will be required of you as yours would be required of him."

The Tough Decision (Plan B)

I turned off my laptop, sat quietly, and the picture of my husband and his thoughts came into my mind. I reflected on how much I have ignored his plea and complaint. How I have humiliated and insulted him for the sake of sex. I could see all the nights he begged me, and how I turned him down, how I insulted and shouted at him, especially when he is on me, how I refuse to get romantic with him and quickly push him out of my body whenever I decided to let him have sex with me. My anger turned to regret because I have used my stubbornness and the intention to control my husband, to rather destroy him, leading him to do what he would not have done normally. I cried bitterly. I remember a paragraph of one of his writeups that I read, he wrote, 'The worst thing that can happen to your spouse is to make him feel, 'I am married, but I need a sex partner." It became clear to me how lonely my husband must have felt all these years, how he has longed for me, my love, and my romantic relationship even though I was with him in the same house. I quickly arranged the house, cooked his best and favorite meal, and decorated our bedroom with good-smelling roses, and our dining room with wine (nonalcoholic), and romantic colorful lights. I had my bath, put on my best perfume, and nightwear, sat, and waited patiently for him. It wasn't long after I sat down that my husband returned. I met him at the door, embraced him, kissed him, and told him, 'Welcome, sweet.' I took his suit and suitcase to where they were supposed to be. My husband was amazed at my strange behavior, he stood speechless and a-gape looking at me. I returned to him, led him to the bathroom, and told him to have his bath. After he took his bath, I took him to the dining room and we had a nice meal for a very long time. When we were done, I took him to the bedroom and gave him romantic sex. After we were done, he fell deeply asleep and slept for over three hours. When he woke up and saw me looking at him with a smiling face and curdling his head, he broke down in tears. 'I do not deserve this, darling (he said). I have done something extremely wrong against you and God. Of all the times, why now, darling? Why treat me with such undeserved love, sweetness, and kindness when I am not worthy of it, darling, why?' He asked in tears.

'What do you mean, honey? What are you talking about? I asked him. 'I want to tell you something. I do not know how you are going to take it. If you can't forgive me, I will understand. But with this kind of love you showed me today, if I still keep this to myself, I will die of a heart attack. Darling, I have been cheating on you for a couple of months now...' I did not let him finish his stories and I told him, 'I know.'

My husband was shocked to hear that. 'You know? (I nodded my head, looking straight into his eyes with a smiling face as I held his hand gently). 'Since when? And how did you find out?' He asked, looking surprised. 'I just found out today. I watched everything from the camera I hid in your office when I began to suspect you were cheating on me,' I told him. Looking more surprised, he asked me, 'If you just found out today, and you've watched everything, then why the love and kindness you just showed me?' He asked. 'I did that because:

1. I have forgiven you already.

2. Your action was caused by me. I have not been there for you when you needed me. My negligence of my sexual duties to you, my stubbornness, and my disrespectful attitude towards you led you to such immoral, unthinkable and unbelievable action. This is not you, it is not in your character, I pushed you to the wall, and pushed you into it. Therefore, I have forgiven you and I am bringing you out of this wall that I have pushed and pressed you on. You see the love I gave you today is just the beginning, expect much more of it from me?' I assured him. Hearing this, my husband burst into a loud cry with tears rolling down his eyes. He came down from the bed, went on his knees, and put his head on my thighs. I embraced his head very close to my thighs with tears of joy in my eyes and I told him with a honeous (gentle, romantic, or bedroom) voice, 'It is okay, my love, it is okay, I am here now for you.'

'I will confess my sin to the Church, I will tell them what I have done. I am ready to face any consequences,' my husband said to me while still crying. 'No, honey, you would do no such thing. You have sinned against God and me. I have forgiven you, ask God for mercy, and I am sure that He would forgive you too. If God does forgive you as I have, then, that settles it, you are a free man, alright?' I told him. My husband could not believe I was the one. He raised his head, looked directly into my eyes, put his palms on my both cheeks, and said, 'As long as the Lord lives, I will never cheat on you again or look upon any girl or woman with lust. I made this promise to you today with my life,' he said.