Chapter 7 No.7

I leaned against the wall in a hallway I knew no one could see me.

"Shit!" I cursed and moaned covering my face with my palm.

Until I sat down ,my back is leaning against the wall.

"He's engaged," I stated like an idiot with myself.

Moments later I heard footsteps approaching so I stood up and rubbed my cheek. When look down I saw a pair familiar shoes. I cried even more. I remained still looking on that pair of shoes.

He heaved a sigh.

"Don't cry." I remained silent. I didn't look at him. My tears just flowed.

My first love is now my first heart break.

"She has a reason.Talk to him. " Damon said to me. Talk to him? He think I could?

"I-I can't."

He grabbed my arm and pulled me even closer to him.

"Why are you crying?" He asked me gently. I can see the softness now in his expression. I don't need his mercy.

"Because you love him," He answered his own question. Fuck. He's right.

He licked his lips.

"Crying can't help Natalia," He parted the strand of my hair and placed it behind my ear. "Sometimes we have to face our fears. So talk with him, face your fears."

He can read my mind? Why is he an expert here? Or maybe he already loves so much that he cares a lot in this situation. Because if I? The only pain I feel right now.

"There's nothing I can do Damon. I can't. It's really like this isn't it?" I said and sobbed again. "It's just a pain cause of love." I was shocked when he pulled me up and hugged me.

"If only I could."

I was even more shocked and moved to tears by the words he left out.

Damon offer to drive me home. I don't want to but in his tone was like I can't refuse. I don't want to do anything. I don't like it, because I can see Sebe's face in the way he looks.

It was embarrassing because he knew I had feelings for Sebe. Is Sebe the same to me? Maybe not. My heart hurts so much that even when I walk, I feel like I'm floating.

I was about to open the door of Damon's car but we were surprised when someone came out of a car right in front of us, Sebe and a very beautiful woman. My heart pounded when I saw the woman. The exactly girl I saw last time came out of her office and called her "babe!".

Damon, held my waist.

"Dont look," he said softly but I couldn't take my eyes off them. "You'll just get hurt," he added.

Sebe looked at us. His jaw tightened as he looked up at Damon's hand that was hugging me. I don't know why I let Damon. I do not know why I am comfortable in his presence.

He didnt even smile on me or whatsoever. He didnt.

"Lets go?" Damon offered. I unconsciously nodded then he drove me home.

So this is what they called love? Love is happiness, love is everything, love makes us smile, love makes the bland became colorful. It makes your dull life shine again. But in my state all that is contrary.

Love is a matter of sacrifices, love can hurt unintentionally, love can destroy and playful.

***

"Loosen up Nat. Have fun even just now," Jen drank her drink. We're now on a club.

Kylie is gone. I do not know why and what she is doing.

It's been a week I'm being so lifeless.

But my performances and grades were fine. I still have my brain. It didn't damaged.

We are in the Moonlight club now.

I took the shot glass and gulped it down, this is my fourth. My body immediately warmed up. People shouting on the dance floor like a crazy dog! They dance like a strip whether female or male.

They looked so enjoy. While me no matter how fierce the music is, I still do not know anything around.

I took the beer to the table and stood up. I adjusted the hem of my black dress.

"Lets dance," I said to Jen. Her eyes widened and I immediately stared. She knew I wasn't really dancing but now, I'll try.

I no longer have the nervousness in my chest. I want to have fun and forget right now.

"Woah, that's something!" she stood up and pulled me. We immediately pushed and danced in the middle. There's a waves of people on the dance floor. They don't seem to have anything to do but just dance to enjoy! I did the same.

I did the weird moves and everything. But it became embarrassing and I was embarrassed to see a group of tables staring at me emphatically. My heart pounded.

The loud music became slow and sweet.

When the music changed ,I saw Damon on front of me! I thought he was leaving but I was mistaken. He came close to me! I looked for Jen but she's nowhere. I think we lost each other.

I didn't make a mistake when Damon approached me.

"Can I have this dance?" Damon held out his hand to me.

Even just now Natalia. Give your heart a break.

I accepted his rough hand and he immediately hugged me.Same as old. I feel comfortable in his arms.He's so tall. He has a manly scent.

He put his lips on my forehead.He sniffed on my hair.

"You drunk?" He suddenly asked. Maybe he smelled the wine I drank earlier.

He groaned."Don't drink again. You're a woman," Damon seemed to threaten me.

I nodded.

"It's just a stress reliever Damon," I chuckled. Damn, I'm a bit tipsy.

He mocked. "You don't have to be like this. I don't like it."

"I didn't know you were here either."

"My friend own this."

I'm still a little ashamed of him because that's when he just confessed to me. He likes me.

We can't force our feelings to change and love for someone.

***

I look up at the sunlight -permeable tree. I look at the leaves falling there. I'm always here in my favorite spot, In front of the soccerfield with benches under the trees.

Nothing. The air here is fresh. It slightly cradles my fallen and lifeless hair. I looked up to breathe fresh air.

I'm wearing eyeglass because I need it when I'm reading. I need a books for some research and to learn more. In short it's my hobby. But anyone called me sometimes a nerd. Ugh!

Why they have to waste their time to someone who dont want an attention?

I dont have to change myself just for them. This is me, I have friends;Jen and Kylie is enough. If they don't like me I don't either. Simple as that. I'm fine with it.

People now adays.

My all thoughts fade when my phone rang .I answered it immediately.

"Mom," I answered. She heaved a sigh.

"Sweety, I have something to tell you when I come back," She said on the other line. I want to get angry and I want to laugh because of frustration.

But I just can't. I'm just her child. I still have a respect. Even though she has not been home for a few months. I know there's something wrong. Something I don't really know but I feel it. She was really the only one I waited for to tell me that.

"I miss you," Even though I'm mad I still love her.

"I miss you too sweety. I hope you don't get mad." I close my eyes emphatically. My chest throbbed with anger and other emotions.

"I'll understand mom.I'll wait," I immediately ended the call.

***

"You're terrible Nat! Your brain is really a monster! You're perfect on our exam! The others here are not our lessons but still...you answered them perfectly! " Jen said in amazement and took my papers one by one.

"Reading books can't kill you Jen. Try it, It's worth it than just fucking around."

"Woah! It hurts you to speak. But I'll try, don't worry," She rolled her eyes at me.

"Where's Kylie?" I asked her. All of a sudden, she left earlier. We said goodbye immediately after the exam.

She's being weird. It's obvious.

Jenn shrugged. "I don't know maybe in comfort room?"

I stood up to look for her.

"I'll just look for her. I'll be going, right?"

She nodded and I left.

I first turned to the locker room to put my thick book there. I took off my eyeglasses and put them there as well because of the hot weather, I first went into the comfort room to wash and comb my long hair.

When I came out I went through the men's locker. I'll look for Kylie, she's the only one I can tell about this kind of thing. I heaved a sigh that would have passed the men's locker door when I heard a familiar voice.

"Why are you like this huh? What have I done? I'm avoiding you right !?" fuck! That's Kylie!

My forehead furrowed. Why is she inside the man's locker? Someone's cursed inside. A man voice!

"Stop bullying her," a deep voice said emphatically. Kylie's scoffed but I know she's crying.

"I'm not bullying her! Okay fine! You like her right? Then be with her !I don't care anymore! Let me go Clinton! "

I bit my lip when I heard Clinton's name. I knew it! That's why Kylie is so weird last time! There was a thud inside so I was scared.

"I hate you! I hate you! I hate- "She screamed inside but suddenly it stopped and I heard her moaned.

Fuck! I was almost stuck in my position right in front of the locker door.

Are they? I do not know what to do. I don't know anything. But that was my friend. I was shocked when someone grabbed my arm and pulled me somewhere.

"Shit! Let me go," I said emphatically once pulling on my arm.

"Why are you listening to other people's conversation?" Sebe said to me. My eyes widened. I thought Damon but it was Sebe.

"She's my friend. I didn't mean that. If I ever heard anything... I don't usually tell to others, we're friends, " I told him, I wasn't looking at him.

"Okay," He looked at me for awhile. Before I left....he left first. I swallowed and the corner of my eye became hot. while looking at his handsome back moving away from me.

It's been a month without him. I'm getting used to it. I bowed at the same time as my tears fell.

Why am I hurting while he is not? Why do I have to suffer this kind of pain? I am hurt by my love for him.