Chapter 2 Past Life 2

Going back home that day was heavier than ever and even more darker, i ran away from her that day and it was the last time I saw her.

I heard about how happy she was and that now i have a brother and sister, i heard she could move on just fine and i thought i would never see her again but after 10 years she came to see me, she was older, she had some wrinkles, some of her hair was white and her hands looked older and weaker than ever, like those hands could never hurt anyone, little did they know, it was the very same hands that hit me in the past.

"I miss you" was what she said "sorry I can't say the same" i replied back

"I'm sorry, I know you're angry but let me ex...." I cut her words saying "I'm not angry anymore mother so it's okay to just let everything go" "I would actually like it if you did". I turned back attempting to leave but she held my hand, I could hear her sobs, i didn't dare to turn back and face her, i was afraid it would weaken my resolute heart but i also couldn't leave and after some minutes she started to calm down and what I heard then was so shocking that i thought i might have heard wrong, "I'm dying" "I was diagnosed with blood cancer, it's a late stage" "when I heard the news the first thing that came to my mind was your picture, it was funny because i thought that i hated you, but at that exact moment i found out that i never did, the doctor said i had 6 months left" "that was then, now i only have two months, in the last four months, i have been thinking, what does she look like, how is her life going, is she married and if she is, Is he treating her right, does she have any children." "You look older than i remember, it's 32 now right? Can you please look at me, i really want to see your face" " please!" "I'm sorry, I'm really really sorry, I'm sorry I failed you and hurt you, I'm sorry I destroyed your brilliant future, I'm sorry i left after all that and I never forgot you, I couldn't to the point I tried to find you in the people I look at." "I'm sorry.....and I love you, and if possible, can we be together this two months? Just you and me".

"No!" I replied without looking back, "how, how could you be this cruel?" She said.

"Are you seriously asking this question right now, it took you only one person to abandon you to do what you did to me, I was abandoned by two" I shook her hands off and left with heavy steps, never once did I look back.

I thought I was already past the pain, I thought i wouldn't feel anything but I guess I was wrong.

After that day I thought I would never see her again but she came to visit regularly at the cafe I was working at, even when I ignored her she still came to visit then one day when I was working, she collapsed so I took her to the hospital and spent the night there with her, I woke up in the next morning because I could feel a hand on my hair, I got up and found her smiling at me,

"I couldn't call any of your family members so I had to stay the night, can you tell any of their numbers" I said while stretching my back .

"Umm, I don't memorize their numbers and I forgot to take my phone with me today" she said with an apologetic look "I'm sorry, it seems I will trouble you again" she said with a smile.

At first I was uncertain if I should stay or not but she was gonna leave the hospital tomorrow so I thought it would be okay, "fine then I will stay tonight" when I finished saying that I looked at her to be met with the most genuine smile that she ever gave me in my life and it was quite the unforgettable one, that night she didn't sleep till dawn, she kept talking about everything, her childhood, first love, college and how she met father, about me when I was just born and she didn't know how to take proper care of me then and even about my grandparents, I found myself smiling along with the conversation and sometimes laughing untill it became dawn and I decided to tuck her in because she wouldn't sleep and she agreed to sleep only if I was beside her but that night was a sleepless night, the time I spent with her got me thinking if I really hated my mother and If I really can't forgive her and by the time the morning came I had a headache.

I went outside to get something to eat but the line on the food court was long so I had to wait for a very long time and by the time I got food for both me and mother an hour have already passed, I headed back to her room and when I entered I heard sobs , loud ones, I thought something happened to her or maybe her condition worsened so I put the plates on the table beside the door hastily not noticing the spelt water and dropped food and ran to her, I found her hugging her legs, putting her hands to her ears and her eyes were open wide and staring at nothing, she was crying, that expression of hers, I have only seen it when father left us, when I called her she didn't hear me, I went closer to her and put my hands on her shoulders while calling her once more and that's when she noticed my presence, she looked at me and it felt like life returned to her eyes, she hugged me and said "where have you been" "when I woke up and didn't find you I thought you left me too" she said with a trembling voice "I thought you got tired of me, I'm sorry, please don't leave me".

By the time she finished talking I was left speechless, I didn't know what to say so instead I just wrapped my hands around her and kept soothing her "I just went to bring us breakfast, I brought you your favorite strawberry juice" I said while patting her back and eventually she started to calm down but the atmosphere then became very awkward and we both stayed silent.

Around dusk I got a phone call from the landlord telling me that the apartment above mine was flooded with water and that the roof of my apartment strated to leak so I had to leave the hospital so I told mother that I will come back to get her out of the hospital in 2 hours time.

I left the hospital and headed to my house which wasn't that far away, thankfully the situation wasn't that bad and my neighbor was the one who will have to pay for the damages, I looked at the hour and found that it's already 11:35 pm, and I should have taken mother out of the hospital at 10:00 pm.

I decided to head for the hospital for now and come back later for the apartment.

I arrived at the hospital at 12 am but there was still a road I had to cross, I waited for the traffic light to turn red, once it turned red I ran across the road not noticing the car that didn't stop even with the traffic lights turned red.

It was cold, I felt numb and I didn't feel pain, my last moments of life were very calm and with my last breath I vowed, that if there is a second chance, I will be selfish, I will be powerful and successful, but most of all, I will be happy and with that vow, my eyes closed and all that was left was darkness.

End of chapter 2