Chapter 2 Promises are meant to be Broken

The house is cluttered, and it seems like nobody lives here. I'm always not around, only gone home to sleep, then rise again to leave. Yes, my unit is here in Makati, where I have stayed for almost three years since I graduated in the Business Management course.

We are in the industry of clothing and manufacturing. I desperately wanted to live independently and separate from my parents, so at the age of 20, I worked hard to get away from them. At first, they were against it, but they couldn't control me either.

It's challenging to stay with them, having big expectations from me, especially I'm their only child, wanting me to manage our business, get married in time, and give them grandchildren. Unfortunately, I can't provide it, being a lesbian and still in the closet. When I was young, there was something strange about me. I'm more okay with women than men and even end up in a fight when talking to them.

I disregarded the fact until I met Billy in high school and felt love at first sight. I was blown away by her beauty at the beginning of the class. She was the talk of the campus for being gorgeous. We were seatmates, then sooner became close as I always help her out in some of our academics.

We began to hang out most frequently. Knowing all Billy's non-sense, despite being often scolded and summoned to the principal's office, yet still skips classes to go with her boyfriend. One time I caught them on the act in the old stock room of our school. Billy moaned, grinding on top of her man, fully naked. Since then, I'm struggled, dealing with my first heartache and forced to handle it on my own, trapped in one-sided love. Of all the people, she's the only one who knows me and frees me to move when I'm with her.

I still remember just the two of us in her room after doing our homework as she suddenly kissed me out of nowhere. That was my first then afterward, she became aggressive when my true feelings were being unleashed by uncontrolled lust, flirting, but only for having fun. Billy is ready for everything, experimenting with things, even emotions. I can't count how many times we had sex.

I'm always there to support her. Every time she's resentful, we end up omnipresent, going on road trips, out of town, skipping pressures in studying. That way, she could forget her problems. Billy grew up in the care of her grandfather. They have good business, so their lifestyle is pretty much stable. We are more than friends but not into a relationship, no commitment like other normal couples. My world revolves around her, feeling nothing without her. Billy is idle to do anything she wants without my consent, but whenever things get worse, she'll come here in the condo, get drunk, cry all night, then, as usual, something between us might happen.

According to that kind of setup, despite being hurt perhaps because I love her, even she doesn't love me back the way I used to. We randomly had sex, especially when she recently separated from her boyfriend, hurt, and wasn't okay. Sex became her escape, too, in her struggles that were so amazing on my part because I could be with her sometimes.

[Ally Point of View]

Today is shady, like Dad and I am arguing again. We hadn't gotten along since Mom died, and it got worse when my older brother followed. Not because he's my Dad, he can decide for me and my future. How Am I supposed to marry a person I don't even know. After my brother died, I felt like all the responsibility for the company was on my shoulder.

"That's my final decision, Ally," Dad says without hesitation.

In a rage, I grabbed my bag, car key as I left and went to the bar, hoping to ease the pain. I was wearing my usual outfit fitted shirt and jeans with my sneakers as my hair-free.

[Hannah Point of View]

My condo is not huge but beautiful, and it is nice when cleaned. There is a living room, kitchen, and dining. This spot in the balcony where you can see the alluring view of Makati, I drink alone or with Billy, smoke, and we even got sex on the spot. It serves as her 2nd home. She barely stays in her house and mostly spends time here when being torn apart like shit.

I watched vlogs in my free time, spent my day here in the house, doing stuff like designing a new dress style and cooking some new dishes gathered from the internet rather than roaming around.

I haven't had a boyfriend since birth though many want to court. They were busted right away, and even just planning to court was already rejected. I do find men attractive I am just not attracted to them. I have male friends but only a few and often gay. I'm not ugly nor super pretty either, but I have appeal, am witty, a sense of humor, and not only beauty, being lesbian but wearing skirts, shorts, daring clothes, and I'm still a virgin, take note with men, not on women.

I tried to reach out to Billy, but she's not answering my calls. We have planned today.

"Hannah, love, I'm so sorry, but I can't make it tonight. I promise I will make it up to you next time. An emergency came up all of a sudden.", that's what she sent me.

I knew she wouldn't come. She should have just told the truth that she's somewhere with her boyfriend than making an excuse. That's better than expecting her to show up. It's a good thing I haven't cooked yet, or else it will spoil and be thrown in the garbage as she does to me.

"You should have told me earlier, Billy. How irresponsible you are. You always do this shit whenever you like. You shouldn't promise if you didn't do it either." I throw my phone in the bed as I send it to her. My cheek is reddish as turmoil up.

"Hannah, try to be considerate. I told you something came up," she chatted. I pouted, teary eyes as my planned got ruined, devastated.

"You are always like that. Better not to promise anything," I chat with angry emoji.

"Whatever you say, Hannah, grow up," she chatted with cry emoji.

We promised to celebrate our friendship anniversary, yet this will be the outcome, which always makes me feel bad.

Instead of sulking alone, I'd better go out and have a drink, wearing one of my design t-shirt with crazy in love on it printed paired with a maroon skirt and black doll shoes without socks. I was putting light makeup on my face to hide my upset while my hair tied up looking strong then go, slumped the door as I went out.