Chapter 4 DEAR ELENA 4

May 18,1990

Dear Elena,

I have so many stories to tell you;I'm so excited! So, here we go. Yesterday we went to the beach to celebrate Amy's birthday. It was fun. For the first time I was able to forget the situation of our family, same as Kuya Lenard; he enjoyed the whole day. I'm so happy for Elena . He deserves to rest and enjoy the moment of peacefulness. Do you know why I said Peacefulness? Because for the first time in 2 months my parents didn't argue. It was such a peaceful day. I feel like we go back to the time when we didn't have any problems. I miss those days Elena. I can't contain my happiness because it was super enjoyable. Amy was laughing all day. The same goes for our parents. Did you know that for the first time I wore a one piece suit not a Shirt and shorts but ONE PIECE! I feel like I'm a real woman now. I remember at first Dad protested about it but he didn't have a choice. I only have one swimming attire and that is the bikini. You know what? It's still funny when I remember the face of Dad when he was defeated by me. I know that I study in Catholic School but Eve and Adam have no clothes when they are created. They walk naked in the Garden of Eden right? I just want to do whatever I want with my body piercing and having a tattoo. But I know that it's impossible for now- I'm still a minor. Elena, I have to tell you something. It's about Mom and Dad; didn't sleep in their room that night, instead he slept in the Guestroom. I saw him earlier with his favourite pillow going to the guest room. I think they're fight was really serious this time. I don't understand my parents Elena. Is it because I'm too young to understand the life of an adult? Especially married couples? Sometimes, I'm thinking if I get married in the future will I be like my parents? Or will I be different?

Sincerely yours,

Luna Sandivillan

I close my diary and put it back inside my drawer. I close my eyes and gently massage my eyelid.

"What time is it?" I asked myself before I looked at the wall clock.

"9 pm" I said

I wonder If kuya is already asleep? Because he told me that he will finish the comics that he bought in the comic store way back home yesterday. Should I borrow it? I can't sleep. Maybe he finished the comics or not?

I want to go out but I'm afraid that I might see my Mom or Dad in the corridor. It makes me feel awkward.

Why am I so timid? What's wrong with me? Aish! Being bashful is such a problem for me - especially when I'm talking to Carlo. I look like an idiot who doesn't know how to speak.

"Is it part of puberty?" I suddenly asked

Now I'm curious

Until when puberty stops? When I reach 18? Or when I graduated college and had a job?

How will I know? Maybe I should ask some people about it.

Maybe Kuya?

I shake my head from my thoughts

" No" He's a boy. What does he know about the girl's puberty? except menstruation.

How about Rhea?

" No"She's over confident she doesn't have any physical embarrassment. And she can't relate to my feelings.

Okay! Final, Mom

"Maybe?"She's my mother. After all, maybe she can understand what I've been through right now and she can give me advice from her experience when she was young.

I nodded my head from the idea

"Problem solve" Proudly said to myself

Because of the idea that I thought. I close my eyes and ready myself to sleep. But minutes later. I suddenly woke up and pulled my hair because of irritation.

" Jusko po! I can't sleep!" I complain

I get up on the bed and go out in my room.

"A glass of milk can help me sleep peacefully like a baby in the crib" I said while yawning and walking downstairs. When I'm going to the kitchen. I heard a voice of a man and a woman having an important discussion. I went to the direction where the voice came from and I saw Kuya in the back of our house. Talking to a woman - the same age as him.

"What's going on?" I asked to myself

"When will they know about our situation?" The girl asked

"I don't know Clare. I have a problem also!" He hissed

" I know. I'm not an idiot Lenard. Whole Subdivision know your situation " She frankly said that makes my kuya hand turned in a fist

"Not now Clare. Just leave it's already late. It's bad for you and for me to stay up late." He firmly said and led the girl out.

I immediately ran to my room; I hurriedly locked the door and went to my bed and covered myself in the blanket.

"What have I witnessed? Is that something important?"

It makes my heart beat faster. I feel so nervous from what I saw and heard.

Is she my Kuya Lenard Girlfriend?

It's not impossible after all Kuya is already 20 years old.

"I wonder who that girl is? And what is about her condition that Kuya doesn't let us know?"

It's really suspicious. I hope it's not that serious. I cannot drink milk because of what happened earlier.

I sit in the bed and lift my hand.

"Maybe prayer will help me to sleep," I said and closed my eyes.

I do the sign of the cross before I start to pray

"Dear Lord, How are you? Me? Thank you for asking. Dear Lord, Thank you for all the blessings for this day. I'm happy that no bad things happened in our family. And Sorry for all the bad things that I've done. Lord, Please Guide and protect us; I wish that my kuya will be healed by your grace And Lord please let me sleep. I want to sleep. In Jesus name. Amen!" After the prayer I immediately lie in the bed and close my eyes.

Wow! My eyes are getting heavy right now. I guess prayer is effective.