Chapter 2 The Forbidden Fruit

" I am not your bloody slave who will look after the baby while you return to work. Myra, I have a life and a career. Staying with you and this baby, I don't believe, will help me achieve my goals. My personal life and job are more important to me than you and this child."

When your dreams disintegrate, even the drop of a pin causes you to shiver from your heels to your head. I was solely responsible for the upkeep of my home, as well as my own and my child's costs. My husband's only work comprised either blaming me for how pathetic I appeared or accusing me of attempting to ruin his profession and life.

Our sex life was smoldering. He was never fond of touching me. My body ached for a man's touch, but his constant body shaming was the worst smack in the face I'd ever had. He used to make fun of me for having a cracked tummy and sagging breasts. He even stopped caressing me after a year. If I tried to touch him, he would invariably flinch and remark that he wasn't in the mood.

With each passing day, I lost confidence in myself as a woman. The need to be desirable and wanted having vanished, leaving just a terrible ache in my stomach. When I called Ray, he said he was busy and wouldn't pick up the phone.

It was getting increasingly difficult for me to return to work while keeping my Lil baby away. Earning money was also vital because I didn't have anyone to help me with my costs and my children. I had to make the worst decision of my life...to leave him with my mother and continue forward in my career...with a heavy heart. It was the hardest decision I'd ever made, but I didn't have a choice.

Ray refused to stay with me, claiming that he was ambitious and that I was the largest stumbling block in his career. I was head over heels in love with Ray and will go to any length to keep us happy and close. For him, though, I was nothing more than a money vending machine who was supposed to earn and labor for the family.

The excruciating agony of life without my husband was killing me at all hours of the day and night. And with his constant nasty remarks, I believed that I had lost all of my feminine allure. I stopped looking in the mirror because I was embarrassed by my weight. Sleepless nights and loneliness were the only things left in my existence.

Living alone was the greatest fear I'd ever had, and I was nearly living it. I was out of my league in looking attractive or appealing. I had accepted the truth that love was no longer in my life and that there was only one thing left to notice...my repressed sexual cravings buried deep within my soul.

I never tried to seduce Ray because I was already in love with someone else when he entered my life, but the decision I made in life was not supposed to be mine. With my romantic relationships, I was unlucky. I believed that a married relationship would provide me with the peace of mind to live with someone for the rest of my life. Someone who I can fully claim as mine. I wanted to give Ray the happiness of the world, but he didn't want it. He had other plans, so he gradually abandoned me one day...without warning, and I was left to fight my own battles in life.