Chapter 5 The first outing

"Avni my dear, get outside now, we need to get going now.

"Coming ma!" I screamed with a hint of annoyance in my voice. For some reason I was busy getting dressed to go with them shopping eventhough I didn't want to.

If I had known that along with dad she was also going to drag me along shopping with her, I would have told Dad that i had some left over briyani in the dinning room that he could eat.

"Avni you better hurry. I don't think you father can take it any longer" she joked.

For the sake of dad, I brought myself downstairs and then headed outside where my parents were waiting beside their car.

"I am here ma" I announced grumpily.

"Great, now everyone in the car" mom ordered, not minding the look on my face. I often wondered how Mom could ignore people's feelings to meet her own demands so easily. It really did suprise me.

I got into the car but promised myself not to get out of the car no matter what. "It's just to get ingredients, no big deal".

Few minutes later, I found out how wrong I was. Mom had actually used the pretext of going to buy ingredients to get dad and I to go shopping for clothes with her. Dad had to get some take outs on the way to the shopping mall.

"Now I know that divya values clothes more than her own husband" Dad said as he munched on his fries.

"Most women do Ramesh so please stop complaining" Mom told him, still excited about going to the mall.

It would had been just fine if she had gone cloth shopping with dad and just left me in the car. That clearly didn't happen and no matter how much I grumbled, mom made sure that she got her way.

I watched as mom kept squealing the moment she sighted a pretty dress. She kept on picking and picking and picking, not like she was the one who was going to pay. Obviously it was my father who would pay for it all. If my dad's credit card was a person, it would me malnutritioned due to mom's excessive buying"

"Avni, shop with me. Get some dresses too" mom urged.

"No thanks ma. I have a lot of new dresses at home" I told her

"Those are Indian dresses, dear. We are now in London. Why not get some things more of London style" she advised

"No ma. I am fine with my Indian attires" I replied.

"Okay then, what of accessories? I heared that teenagers here like to accessories" Mom persisted.

"No ma. I am good with what I have at home" I replied, already feeling frustrated.

Mom's face turned into a frown. She was definitely not happy with me. Even though I didn't show it, my mom's frown scared me.

"I can't believe that you are my daughter. You are so boring"

I simply shrugged my shoulders even though her words actually got me feeling hurt but I knew that she didn't mean it but it still hurt.

I walked along with her through each clothing rack. I was totally uninterested in everything that she was doing. I wondered when mom was going to realize that I was not made to be a princess. Fashion and the rest weren't made for me. Honestly, nothing in this world was made for me.

I took a quick glance around and for the first time since we stepped foot into the store, I realised that people were around, lots of people. I winced at this realisation. It had been a really long time since I was in the mist of so many people.

"Oh no. What if I have an attack here? I thought anxiously.

Different thought began to race through my mind. The more my mind raced, the more I became anxious.

"Calm down avni, just calm down. Everything will be fine" I told myself as I took a deep breaths.

I silently prayed for my mom to be done with her shopping. Luckily, dad had just had enough of her shopping.

"Divya, let's go home now" he told her, annoyance in his voice.

Mom who was busy in the middle of deciding which

of the two dresses she held that she should buy.

"First tell me ramesh, which one I should buy" she said, showing him the dresses.

"Buy the pink one" dad suggested.

Mom looked at the hand that held the pink colored dress.

"But I also like the blue one. It compliments my eyes" mom whined.

"Then get the blue one" dad told her.

"But I don't really have a lot of pink dresses at home and this one is really cute" she explained

"Then just buy both and get me out of here" I yelled impatiently.

My parents looked at me surprised. Even some the shoppers turned to look. I was also surprised myself. I hadn't meant to yell.

"Sorry ma. I didn't mean to yell" I said sheepishly.

"It's alright Avni. It's my fault too. I just get a bit carried away while shopping," she said before flashing me a quick smile.

"Let's go" mom told me.

We went to the check out and of course my dad paid. We got back into the car with the intention of going home. On our way home, mom and dad kept talking about the places they had visited when they were younger while I had something else on my mind

"Why did I yell" I thought.

It wasn't like me to yell. I had a bad feeling about it all. I had so many thoughts and all were terrifying.

"Is my condition getting worse? I thought worriedly." Am I not taking my medicine properly?"

"Is my medicine no longer effective." What is wrong with me?".

I knew something was wrong. It was likely that my condition was getting worse but at this moment I needed to stay positive or else I would start worrying unnecessarily. I took a deep breaths and closed my eyes shut. I opened them and shook my head sadly. I couldn't help it. I couldn't help getting worried. I kept on worrying about why I had lost my cool and have become so impatient nowadays. As if worrying about that wasn't enough, I suddenly realized something.

"I never used to worry this much. Why am I worrying so much now?"

I groaned at the realization that I was worrying about worrying too much. Who does that? I apparently.

"No matter what, I have to get cured. I have to find a solution and fast" I told myself.