Chapter 4 Tears of Caramel

...Ibironke Adunni Adejare

I attended the University of Ibadan as a student of the department of Linguistics and African Studies, Faculty of Arts. In my third year, Abebi and I had gone to watch a theatre performance at the Wole Soyinka theatre. At the theatre, I met a man named Tade who had come to watch his cousin perform, together with two of his friends. We coincidentally sat side by side and we exchanged opinions on the stage performance at intervals. He was handsome, I gave him that compliment, and eventually we moved

from talking about the play to chatting randomly about ourselves. I found out that Tade had also graduated from our university and he was now a medical doctor who owned his own hospital. It wasn't a period when mobile phones were rampant so I told him the name of my hostel when the show was over and we all had to leave. Tade came looking for me the following day and it was a funny sight, I had come out of my room to buy sardines when I saw him standing awkwardly by his car. One thing led to another and we became close. Tade would come to the hostel on Fridays or Sunday evenings and we would take a walk around the block or talk by his car. He never agreed to eat nor drink in my hostel but he was friendly to all of us at the hostel. Abebi had officially met him a little later and they clicked almost immediately; they had the same principle but extroverted personalities and of course they were both fun-loving, making it easy for them to mingle. His visits became more frequent and eventually, he started to tell me how much he cared for me. Well, I wasn't dumb, I knew he wanted something more than a casual friendship so I attentively journeyed

with him till he made his intentions clearly known.

We started a relationship officially during my Year 4 first semester holidays and it was the best of my relationships. He came to my house to officially meet my mum and she liked him instantly same as his mum when I visited their home, they soon began discussing our marriage. Tade's mum, Mrs. Aofolaju was really fond of me. I spent most of my weekends at her house going shopping whilst she shared some of her marital lessons and secrets with me. I was so happy I was going to be having a mother-inlaw who cared so much about me and was also my friend. Hardly would you have found such a loving mother-in law in those days. Many of my classmates while I was in the university always prayed for their mother-in- law to be dead before they got married but my case was exceptionally different. Tade's mum was a Deaconess in their church and was a beautiful

example of a Proverbs 31 woman.

Tade promised to wait for me till I finished my National Youth Service programme as I was still a virgin, and we did not engage in premarital sex. During my service year, we had a mini-introduction where his family was officially introduced to my family. Maami was happy with the Aofolaju family as she and Tade's mum got along so well. The heavens answered my prayers of many years even as they picked the wedding date at the introduction ceremony. Maami and her older sister immediately began to plan my big day while I continued my service year. Abebi was not left out of the planning as she fully handled everything as regards event planning and even organized ladies for the aso-ebi gang. She was also serving at that time but she redeployed to Lagos to help my mum with the planning. Tade's mum ensured I got the best fabric in town to wear for the engagement while my mum bought me the most expensive wedding dress

at that time. Tade's sister had gotten my shoes, purse and jewelleries on her

way back from Switzerland.

The wedding was fast approaching and I was more than excited to begin my new life with Tade. Abebi and I were getting prepared to go to the tailor and I couldn't help continuously thinking about my dress. Tade's mum had contracted an excellent tailor to sew my traditional Aso-Oke into a nicely cut Iro and Buba. I couldn't wait to see how beautifully the ghost

white colour of the material would blend with my fair skin so perfectly.

‚Ye...! Temi bami, mo je gbese! (I'm doomed!)‛ We heard Maami scream. Abebi and I ran downstairs only to find Maami on the floor, wailing, her skin was fast burning a bright shade of red. Maami cried profusely as the landline slipped from her hands and fell to the ground

loudly.

‚Maami, what happened? Ki lo sele?‛ I asked, getting scared when she struggled to put her words together as she continued to hit her thighs with

her balled fist.

‚Mummy, e ba wa soro (talk to us)‛, Abebi said. My mum looked at me broken-heartedly and choked out the words, ‚No more wedding.‛ I was shocked and confused because the wedding was just a week away and all arrangements had already been made.

‚It is Tade, Ronke, I just got off the phone with Tade's mum.'' Maami began to stammer as she did not know how to break the sad news to me. At the

mention of my fiance's name, panic overtook me.

‚Maami! What happened to Tade, ki lo sele si Tade?‛ I snapped

impatiently when she continued to drag out the news.

‚Tade is dead, Ronke.‛ Maami said as she began to wail once again. I on the other hand could not cry or even speak at all; I could only remember

waking up from a four-day coma. I learnt Tade's mum passed on the

following day as she could not bear the news and just like that, everything crashed. I had almost died, because the shock was unbearable. It's still ever hard to forget but by his stripes we are healed of all pains and sorrows.

I couldn't attend the memorial service made in honour of Tade and his mum because I was in the hospital for sometime due to mental instabilities. Suicidal thoughts overwhelmed my mind and I had even overdosed on anti-depressants at some point, so Maami, her sister and Abebi began to keep a close watch on me. I didn't understand a lot of things and felt I had ill-luck that prevented me from making progress in anything. I would often wonder why I lost precious people every time I began to think my happiness was finally going to be full. My dad also passed away few days to my tenth year birthday. I would have saved some of the tears I shed for Tade and his mum if I had known that I still had

more heartbreak lined up in my future.