Chapter 5 How it began

How could I ever forget the day that it all began?

Closing my eyes, I thought about how I had reached this particular turning point in my life.

April... That was the name my mother had given me, for reasons best known to her for I was born in June.

I barely remembered the woman who had given birth to me.

Since my mother had disappeared with her current boyfriend fifteen years ago, two years after I was born, I had been taken in reluctantly, by her sister, Aunt Sharon. I was never made to forget that I was living off the charity of my relatives. Harassed Aunt already had four of her own kids and the fifth was on its way when I was unceremoniously dumped at her house. I grew up feeling guilty for being another mouth at Aunt's ever-growing table of children.

Perhaps it was because I was brought up by my aunt Sharon and Uncle Bob, I assumed that I was ugly and my rather wide hips and full breasts were something to hide. Uncle Bob was a pastor and he would look at me disapprovingly if he felt my clothes or 'my demeanour 'were 'inappropriate" His words. The mirror revealed that I was a little on the larger side, especially my chest with the D cups. It made me feel so embarrassed, particularly as my cousin sisters were tall, slim and flat-chested.

But the loneliness of my life sometimes hit me hard. I had no boyfriends in this fast-paced city and I was generally shy and awkward around boys.

Jake McGill had been the only one who had meant something to me, back in Pavewell. A senior in school, he had been as much a misfit as I with his dysfunctional family, father and brothers in and out of jail and an alcoholic mother But Jake had a dream. He wanted to make something of his life.

He was also my first lover.

Even today, I smiled as I remembered our first kiss, the awkward groping, my first time with a boy... unfortunately for me, Jake had moved away when his mother died in an accident. At first, we had managed to meet, make plans for the future.

Gradually, we had lost touch. I was devastated when Jake had said ruefully, his voice apologetic and even more distant over the phone than just the physical difference as he hummed and hawed and finally said,

'Look April, I don't think this will work...long distance and all that...'

Reading between the lines, I realised that he had found someone else. But I stayed single, throwing my heart and soul into my studies.

Now my entire focus was on just one goal:

I HAD to get out of Pavewell and its claustrophobic atmosphere...

When I received a scholarship and was accepted into a university at Hallowford, I seized the chance. It wasn't the greatest university in the district but I was desperate to run away. This was my last chance. Away from the smell of soiled diapers and wet laundry, the endless screaming and whining of the small children you tripped over in Aunt's house. The chores that had me dropping into bed at night, too tired to change...

Uncle had not been pleased; after all, he was about to lose the unpaid help/ babysitter/ cook and everything else that I was in their household. He had made strong noises of disapproval on the lines of Christian values, gratitude and so on.

But Aunt had smiled wearily and later when we were alone, she had furtively pressed a small purse of cash into my fist whispering,

'Don't let Bob know about this, luv.'

Eyes welling up with emotion, I had hugged her tightly.

But the very next week, I was on a Greyhound, heading for Hallowford and an unknown future, leaving behind a part of my life, memories of Jake... Strangely, it only made me exhilarated.

Finding roommates to share a flat with turned out to be easier than I had imagined.

Two of the seniors at university had put up an ad asking for a roommate. I had applied, for a lark since I was desperate and staying in a large Youth Hostel dorm wasn't really working out. And that's how I met Beth and MJ.

It had been a stroke of luck for me to move in with them: their third flatmate had left to live with her boyfriend and when I saw the ad, I had applied without thinking of the consequences. Magnanimously, they agreed to let me pay a fraction of the rent, provided I helped with the cooking since they had no idea how to go about the basics even something as simple as how to boil an egg. As I was an excellent cook- all that training at Aunt's house in the cluttered little kitchen in Pavewell had helped me-our arrangement kept everyone happy. I was able to pay my way through using the pittance Aunt had provided me with and the loan I had taken out as a student.

My roommates, Beth and MJ, were a universe away from my sheltered, rigid, church-going life in the small town of Pavewell where I had grown up. They attended parties and their boyfriends came over to stay the night very often. The enthusiastic sounds of their groaning and moaning made me toss and turn in my room as I tried not to wonder what they must be up to...

I was still trying to adjust to it when Brad Winston entered the scene.