Chapter 3 THREE-JADEN

(WARNING !!!TRIGGER WARNING!!!This chapter contains words and scenes that could make you cringe. Note: I am strongly against rape or molestation but someone's gotta write the reality of the life we live in.)

"I'm sorry Mia"

Mia's cries skyrocket. I lay on top of her supporting my weight with my hands , afraid I would crush her little frame.

The attention of the whole room was drawn to me now. The other rituals were paused and I was the center of attraction . My father was already seated , his walking Cane in his hand and a cigar between his lips. With a leg on top of the other, it looked like he was about to see his favorite aeries of TV.

Mia's cries was the only sound in the room as well as my silent whispers of apologies. "I'm sorry Mia, I'm sorry Mia, I'm sorry mia"I repeated. The 7th rule of the Mafia rules states "A real man doesn't apologize. Whatever you do is for your own good. Never apologize" . But I couldn't help it . My heart ached knowing this would leave a scar in her life and break her forever. What hurt the most is the fact that she is yet to accept my feelings. Despite being close, she saw me as her master. The day I kissed her, she ran off scared and terrified for her life. Why wouldn't she be? The life I was in isn't for a fragile heart like hers and now I drew her into it. She would never forgive me .

"We're waiting Jaden" my father called with an inpatient voice. There is no going back now.

"I'm sorry Mia" I say one last time as I unbuckled my pants. She shook her head and struggled with me . Trying to kick me off her. I tried to calm her and do the best I can to make this less hurtful for but the poor girl but she wouldn't have it as she struggled aggressively.

" He can't even control a woman! Someone hold that bitch!"

My father's orders. I didn't want it to come to this but I had no choice. The two men from earlier came around the huge bed and grabbed her hands keeping her from struggling with nothing but her legs that I held captive and her upper body.

I tore what's left of her clothes off her leaving her naked to the eyes of everyone present in the room.

And then slowly but painfully, I pushed into her.

She screamed. Nothing prepared her for this kind of pain. We are to take pleasure and not give. They were never aroused before we took all they had to offer and more. Her cry of pain made me stop short. The pain was written in big visible lines all over her face and my own heart clenched. I wanted to cry. Fuck the rules! I wanted to share the pain with Mia.

"I'm sorry" that was all I could say.

"Jaden" my father warned because of my abrupt stop.

I continued. Going slowly. Trying to make this less painful for her--for me who sees how much pain she is in. I've never imagined how my first sex would go. Every boy my age in the Mafia knew there was nothing to imagine or look forward to. It wasn't as described in books for us. The Sparks ,the love ,the feeling of acceptance, ecstacy and all of that shit .

To us It was torture and a means to survive our world.

Each time I pull out and go back in ,her cries increase.

" Harder Jaden, i didn't train you to be a wimp. Harder. Your mother's fate is in your hands as of now"

And so I went harder. And then she cried harder. The bed shook with our weight and my incessant thrust into her her. She was so tight that it was hard to pull out from her each time and the pain must be so excruciating for her.

"Harder Jaden. Till she milks you dry. Harder. Take it. Everything. Take it"

The more my father spoke, the harder I went on her and the harder she cried. I felt pleasure. As much as I hated myself for it,I felt it . As I took her ,my body felt the Sensation of being buried deep inside of a woman. It felt good.

I pounded into her like a crazy man feeling something build inside of me. It was hot. The pleasure surge through my veins like an electric charge. It felt like something was coming.

"Ahhhh!!"

It was my own cry this time. The feeling was too much to hold back.

"That's it! That's it! Harder Jaden. You're almost there! Take it all. Take it ! Everything"

And I did. I took everything from the girl I liked against her wish. I pounded so hard I knew she would feel the pain for days. The men grabbing her hands had to let go of it . She had nowhere to run to anyway and the will to struggle already left her tired sore body. Her fingernails scratched my back and I knew it would bleed but as ashamed as it made me feel , it only added to my pleasure.

I thrust into her so hard my joints hurt. And when the feeling that was starting to build in me felt like it was about to topple over and and push me over the cliff,I drew more hard strokes from her till I couldn't take anymore. I couldn't help my loud cry as I spurt loads and loads of me into her until she was dripping to the bed.

I rolled off of her. Sweaty and totally used up. I have never felt something like that before and it excited me. But the excitement didn't last long when my eyes fell on Mia's broken frame. And just like that,the Waves of guilt crashed on me. What have I done? I was so blinded by the pleasure that felt out of this world to see how monstrous I must have seemed to her. I try to hold her. She flinched from my touch.

"Mia" it was so painful to call her name. She pushed herself sway from me and painfully wincing, Mia got off the bed and almost fell as she did. She staggered out of the room.

" Someone get the bitch. Throw her out the walls,her work here is done"

I was still seated on the bed. My thoughts all over the place. Disoriented and jumbled. My father walked towards me . A proud and satisfied look on his face.

" You did Good. You're a man now. Soon , you'll be ready to take over this Empire I have built"

The words don't register. I was too disoriented and ashamed of myself to let the words sink in.

"Carry on with the rituals. I've had my fill". He said and left the room. My head cleared slightly and I jump of the bed in pursuit of my father. I couldn't let her go just like that as ashamed I was to face her.

Before I could do anything, I saw the men my father gave orders to, pushing Mia out the big gate and shutting it. I took a step forward but his deep baritone voice stop me on my tracks

" She'll die." He said

"One more step and I'll have her killed. You should be thankful I let her go and it's because you did good. I hope you've learned your lesson Jaden. Go get your mother"

And with that he left.

I fall to my knees and cry hard not caring that someone would hear me. I couldn't do anything for Mia. Even in the last moment,I couldn't save her from being thrown out of the big gates in such a situation. I will never forgive myself for doing that to her.

I will never forgive myself...

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A YEAR LATER

" Four men down!! Fuck! Six"

Cries of pain filled the whole mansion that morning.

My father's men were ambushed by a rival mafia while transporting a truckload of guns that were meant to be sold. 20 of the men were shot and right before my eyes , Six died. Anger surged through me ,not because of the wounded men but because of the loss we would suffer.

Fucking bastards didn't do their job well!

I was 19 now. Second in command to my father . In the year that has passed,I have learnt that the only way to survive is to live like them. And just like that, I have become a power holding force in my father's mafia that I would soon take over. Feared and respected.

"Get the doctor you fools"

I growled angrily at them . Their cry of pain was irritating and unbearable.

This is the life I live now. One I don't think I'll ever be able to stop living. Come what may.