Chapter 9 The Past Faded Away

Frank's apartment was as warm and homey as it had always been.

The pictures on the wall showed happier times when the sun always seemed to shine on them.

Their youth had frozen in time. They had been so innocent then.

William always found himself drawn to this wall whenever he was around, reminiscing on their younger years. And on Sansa Liang.

"You really miss my sister, don't you? The first thing you always do here is stare at those photos," Frank said with a wan smile, coming up behind him.

"I can't help it. Memory is a fickle thing." William smiled sadly to himself. He tore his gaze from the wall. He turned to find Frank looking at him with puppy-dog eyes.

"Stay with me for the night?" Frank always wheedled at William like a spoiled child whenever he came by.

William chuckled and mussed Frank's hair affectionately. "I just want to spend some time with your sister now. Next time, I'm all yours. I promise."

Frank pouted but nodded begrudgingly. He stepped aside and motioned for William to enter his sister's room. Five years had passed. William and Frank had had the same exchange every time.

William plopped down on Sansa's bed, closed his eyes, and immediately felt himself relax. He always felt better resting here.

William let his mind wander off to his memories with Sansa, Frank's twin sister.

It was Frank who William became friends with first. They were so close they hid nothing from each other. Their little circle, of course, soon came to include Sansa. As Frank's protective sister, she was never far away, always there to disturb Frank and eventually, William, too.

"William! What are you still doing here? Frank failed the exams! Go cheer him up!" A huffy Sansa stood in front of William, hands planted on her hips.

William continued to lie on the sofa, completely unhurried. He looked up at Sansa and smirked. "No, thanks."

Sansa widened her eyes at him menacingly. "I'm not asking! Get a move on! Or else, I'll make sure you never get up from there again!"

Sansa began swinging a mop threateningly at William. "Whoa, wait! Stop!" William shouted as he jumped up off the sofa and started scrambling away. "I swear I'll hit you back even if you're a girl! Don't make me!"

"Really, now? I'd like to see you try! Come back here!" Sansa began to chase after William with the mop.

Both of them ended up looking pretty roughed up half an hour later.

But Sansa was finally able to drag William to Frank, who had remained morose in his bedroom the whole time. When Sansa and William barged in, Frank did a double-take at their disheveled state.

"What happened to you guys?! Are you okay?"

William wiped the corner of his bleeding mouth and Sansa smoothened her wrinkled clothes, before stubbornly pronouncing "Nothing! I'm fine!" in unison.

William couldn't remember when he began to notice that Frank had feelings for him. But by then, he had also already fallen in love with Sansa. It was a complicated situation.

"I'm in love with you, Sansa. Be with me." An eighteen-year-old William stood in front of Sansa nervously, finally able to confess his long-kept feelings.

Sansa just shook her head. "I don't like you that way, and no, I can't be your girlfriend," she said firmly. "Frank is in love with you."

William threw his hands up exasperatedly. "But I don't feel the same for him. He's like a brother to me." "Besides," he continued, "he's a guy!" William had his pride even at eighteen.

"And so what of it? Give him a chance!" Sansa insisted.

"Why don't you give me a chance, then?" William countered.

"I..." Sansa had no ready response to that. She bit her lips and took a deep breath to steady herself. "Look. Frank and I, we don't have a mom. We have had only each other since childhood. I'm his sister, and I will always, always look after him. I would never do anything to hurt him. That's why I can never like you."

William remained silent as Sansa's words sunk in. After a long pause, he began to speak slowly. "It's okay. It's okay if you don't return my feelings. Just let me stay by your side." William looked pleadingly at Sansa. "We can look after Frank together."

But Sansa shook her head. "It will still hurt him just to see us together."

William shook his head and barked out a bitter laugh. "You only think about his feelings. What about me? I'm also hurting. But I guess you couldn't care less, huh?"

William stormed out of the room and slammed the door after him. Bang!

At the sound, Sansa finally allowed herself to break down crying.

She had no choice. Frank had poured out his heart to her, begging her to help him. She was his sister. She wanted to give him everything his heart wanted. What else could she have done?

As the moon shone a pale light through the windows, William turned over on the bed and remembered the fateful day he lost Sansa for good.

William had been twenty-five at the time. He had loved Sansa for more than ten years. And Frank, too, had continued to love him. The three of them never spoke about it again, but they knew, deep in their hearts. When they got together, they just acted like nothing had ever happened.

It was a hot summer day. William still remembered Sansa wearing a light green dress.

The three of them were on a trip to a small riverside town in the south.

"William! Have you heard? Sansa's engaged!" Frank beamed innocently, but he had said it knowing full well it would pain William. Finally, he could have William all to himself!

William froze. He felt like he had been slapped. "Really?" William struggled to plaster a grin hurriedly on his face even as he felt his heart sink.

"Yes." Sansa turned to him, smiling sheepishly.

"I planned to tell you when we got back, but I guess the cat's out of the bag." William swallowed hard. His smile didn't reach his eyes. "Congratulations."

"Thank you," Sansa said, with a tight smile.

And then, it happened. Sometimes, William still struggled to fill in the details.

He had often wondered after that what such a big truck had even been doing in the riverside town that day.

Frank had wanted ice cream, so William volunteered to buy some across the road.

The big truck turned the corner, but William didn't see it coming at all.

Creak!

It was only at the sound of the screeching tires did he finally look up, startled.

The next thing he remembered was the blinding pain in his arm. Then he realized he was on the ground. Someone was on top of him. He felt himself pale in horror as he recognized Sansa, covered in so much blood her dress was red now instead of green.

He started yelling. "Sansa! Sansa!" The sight of Sansa quickly brought William back to his senses. He scrambled up and held her in his arms as the panic rose in him.

Sansa stared up at him unsteadily. "William..." Sansa struggled to speak, her breath coming in short, raggedy gasps. "...Take care of Frank..." William just nodded, too shell-shocked to register what was happening.

"Shh. Okay. Okay," he sputtered, trying to soothe both Sansa and his own nerves. He wiped the blood from Sansa's face and mouth with trembling hands. "Don't speak now. Save your energy..."

Sansa smiled weakly. "You know...I've loved you, too... All this time..."

William felt himself tearing up. "I know. I know! Sansa, just please..." His tears began to fall on her face. William held her tighter in his arms. Ambulance! They needed an ambulance!

William's head snapped up as he began yelling at the bystanders. "Ambulance! Call for help!" He looked back down at Sansa and started wailing as he realized she had stopped breathing. The world around him began to spin.

"Sansa! Sansa! William!"

The last thing he heard was Frank shouting his name.

When he woke up in the hospital, Sansa was already being buried.

It was drizzling that day. William fought with the doctors, insisting on heading to the cemetery. He wanted to see Sansa for the last time, wanted to at least say goodbye.

It was the least he could do. Sansa had loved him and had died to save him.

William never found it in himself to love any other woman again over the next five years.

But Frank had remained. And he had Sansa's face.

So when Frank finally confessed his love, William embraced it fully. William looked at Frank's happy smile and was convinced this was what Sansa's final wish would have been.

Until now, however, William still couldn't tell whether he had finally learned to love Frank or not.

Frank had said that he wanted to settle down in Norway. William had agreed to move but asked Frank for a year to prepare.

William's last thoughts as he drifted off to sleep were directed to Sansa. 'I'll spend my life protecting your brother now, in your stead.'

The cool breeze that blew in that night found William finally deep in slumber.