Chapter 4 My blue-eyed prince

"It might take you forever, Kana." He drawled.

"It doesn't matter, " she answered.

He raked his fingers on his hair, and looked at her with an impatient glare.

"You're just a kid. Go and find somebody who would be willing to love you back." He said and turned around to leave her.

"I'm not a kid anymore. I'm more than 20." She snapped at him, but he continued to walk away. She followed him.

"Why are you acting so distant, Ken? Don't you want to fall in love, too? Love is a good feeling, you know." She said, trying to catch up to him as he continued to walk.

He did not even glance at her.

"I know...I knew that." He responded, mainly to himself.

"Then, why won't you give yourself a chance?" When he did not reply, she said something that she knew would catch his attention. "Yuki is already taken. Please stop waiting for her."

She was right. Just the mention of her name was enough to catch his attention, to make him look at her with his piercing blue eyes.

"Don't...ever mention her name." He said in a cold voice, laced with bloodlust. "Her name is too pure to be uttered by any of us, do you understand?"

Kana felt that her world has just crumbled.

"Really? Why do you put her in such a high pedestal, Ken? I checked her background, she was..."

Her voice was caught in her throat as she felt his cold fingers on her neck. His face was just an inch away from her, and his expression spelled danger. She swallowed hard.

"What?" The one word he uttered was laden with unspoken threat, urging her to say it in exchange for her dear life.

She felt too frightened to even answer. She just looked at him with terror in her eyes.

"Don't make me repeat myself, Kana." Ken said after a while, removing his fingers from her neck, and her hand went in haste on her neck, suddenly feeling breathless.

"Go and find somebody else, anybody else but me." He said and left her. Her knees finally gave up, and with trembling shoulders, she hugged her knees close to her chest.

She felt like crying, but no tears left her eyes. For she refused to cry. She promised herself that the only time she would shed tears for him, would be on the day that he would be on his knees, asking for her hand in marriage. Only then, will she let go of her emotions. Until then, she will have to be brave, because she has to be brave to be deserving for his love.

----

Kana smiled at him, and jested.

"I couldn't help drooling over you, Ken. For example right now, I can even touch any part of your body and you can't do anything to keep me from doing it." She said playfully, looking at him from head to toe, indicating her intention with a wicked grin on her face.

Ken just looked at her nonchalantly. Then, he looked at her in a challenging manner.

"You can do whatever you want with my body, Kana. But my heart..." he said, his eyes searing through the very core of her being. "will never react to you."

The smile on her face faded, and Ken thought for a moment that he went overboard with his words. But the guilt feeling was instantly overridden with annoyance when she suddenly shoved a peeled apple on his mouth.

She leaned over to him, with a mere inch as the distance between their noses.

"Let's see about that, my blue-eyed prince, " she said provocatively, her lips brushed a little on the tip of his nose.

He didn't even flinch.

He turned his face away from her, and she laughed merrily.

----

He was discharged from the hospital five days later. On the day of his discharge, Kana did not come to see him. He shrugged his shoulders, thinking that she has some errands to do. After all, his bills were settled, and so he hailed a taxi and asked to be taken to his apartment.

He is living alone, in the outskirts of Tokyo. However, it only takes a 20-minute ride by train for him to reach Shibuya, the busiest crossing in the country. He never liked living in Tokyo, but now that their mission has just finished, he decided to go back here.

If it was him more than 2 years ago, he would be somewhere in other more countryside prefecture. He must be doing some menial part time jobs, or could be just relaxing on the tree or on a hot spring.

Actually, even though he would not work for many years, he would survive the high living cost in the city. Their 'salary' for a month's worth of assignment is equal to a one-year salary of a regular-paying job. Since their latest 'job' has taken them 45 days, that means that their individual wages worth a year and a half's pay, plus the medical bills that were incurred 'in relation to the job'.

But, doing nothing is not his cup of tea. He would rather apply as a delivery boy or a cashier in a convenience store so as not to get bored. Besides, jobs like those keep him busy, or more like, keep his mind busy. If he won't do anything, his mind will always wander towards her.

Yuki.

The only woman he has ever loved.

He once read that the moment you find the courage to give your life for someone, that was the time you finally understood love.

And he did.

With Yuki.

He thought that the Shadows will kill him, after that stupid stunt he pulled off, running away with her, when he was supposed to bring her to their client and if she died on the process, he wouldn't have to do anything about it. She would have been what they would call in their job as the collateral damage.

But his heart intervened with his head. He fell in love with her, so deep that his 10 years of training as an assassin failed to make him follow his order. He expected that death would be his punishment.

Yet, his life was spared. His punishment came on a different manner.

That he would never approach her anymore.

If he did, she would die.

No. 1 has installed another shadow very close to her, to make sure that if Ken tried to make contact with her deliberately, that shadow would end Yuki's life.

So, for more than 2 years since his heart beat for a woman, he kept his heart caged. He was broken hearted, and kept alive to mend his own broken pieces. He was, however, found solace on knowing that somewhere, she is still alive.

Happily living with her husband and children.

The reason why he chose to rent an apartment in Tokyo is because of her. When he couldn't bear it anymore, he would go somewhere, on that tall and old building, where he can watch her as she tends to her garden. Where he can see her play with her two children, and where he can see her laugh, see her live her life.

Free from his memory, free from his shadow.

Although he would have wanted to even hear her voice, but his order was explicit. At least 500m away from her, and if he becomes nearer, she will be in jeopardy.

Therefore, just watching her from afar has been enough for him to continue on living.

Ken laid on his bed.

Tomorrow, I will look for a job, he thought and fell asleep.