Chapter 7 Library of Pain

My dreams have always been about the pain of my years of training. I spent an entire year in the Liddicoat's family house. It is where their family library stands, underneath that big, old house. And there, I scour ancient tomes and scrolls, learning more spells that might come in handy when my quest for revenge starts.

In my dream, my fingers will dance over different parchments, tracing the arcane symbols and incantations of long-lost spells. Caius also provided me with seers, monks and alchemists. And because they are being blackmailed by the vampire prince, they are forced to share their techniques with me - all poultices, elixirs and enchantments.

But handy techniques and skills are not the only things I peruse. I also worked on my skills of using powerful and potent spells, like that powerful sleeping spell.

'Revenge is worth any price,' I will say to motivate myself, when things have become so hard.

And then, my dream will transport to an island, where I spent another year of training - to make my body more durable and more resistant. There, I would summon different elements at the behest of Caius' master, who also became my master.

The old man's name is Vincere, who would always tell me that I should learn to properly control my magic during combat, not just to unleash it on great bursts. He always said that it's not the only way to overwhelm an opponent.

In the first week, I would always tell him that 'Control takes time' and things like 'Time is a luxury I don't have.'

Which the old man will answer with a, 'Rome wasn't built in a day, and neither will your mastery be achieved overnight.'

Or sometimes, it will be a 'You are more than your scars, Serra. You are a force to be reckoned with.'

It all depends on the current situation. Like for example, during my final task, I was surrounded by rogue vampires and almost died, because Vincere never even considered helping me.

Still, on the sideline, he is chanting the words, 'Adapt, survive, conquer, Serra.'

I wonder how Caius had grown into a happy-go-lucky man with Vincere as his master?

********************

My eyes flutter open at the first rays of sunlight that are piercing through the cracks of the window shutters. I groggily sit up, my head throbbing with a dull ache. It's another very long, but familiar dream.

As I stretch, I catch sight of myself in the small but elegant mirror on the wall.

Disfigured. Twisted. Unrecognizable.

As I stare at my face, I see that it's getting worse. I am getting uglier by the second. Why?!

My skin is being further marred by angry scars and puckered burns, and then it starts to crisscross over my face like a grotesquely growing spider web. I raise a trembling hand to touch my cheek and I feel the rough texture beneath my fingertips.

The sight makes my stomach churn, bile rising in my throat. I can't help when a shrill scream escapes my mouth.

And then I wake up - really wake up to my reality. I rise up and stand in front of the mirror. I heave a sigh of relief when I see that my reflection is still well-hidden by glamour.

These dreams, they're not leaving me soon. No. Not until I take my revenge!

There is a knock and then the door opens. Gideon, my fuck-up husband, comes in. He looks worried as his eyes go to my bed. And not finding me on the bed, his eyes scour the room until his gaze settles on me. A sigh of relief escapes his lips at the same time that his shoulders relax.

"There you are..." Gideon whispers. "Are you okay? I heard a scream."

I look at Gideon, his eyes are clouded with worry for me, and I stop myself from snorting.

"Just a nightmare, that's all," I tell him, trying to keep my voice steady. My heart is still racing from the dream, and the grotesque scars are still fresh in my mind.

"I'm okay now," I add, brushing a strand of hair out of my eyes and forcing a smile.

He frowns, not convinced, but nods anyway. Perhaps it's because he doesn't want to push it further, or else he is going to bring up all his wrongs that he won't be able to apologize for in this lifetime.

Instead, Gideon approaches and wraps his arms around me in a comforting embrace. He then places a soft kiss on my forehead - a gesture that feels so misplaced and hollow in everything he has done to me.

"You should go back to bed, Serra," Gideon murmurs into my hair. "It's not yet time for breakfast."

I shake my head, pulling away from him with a small smile that doesn't quite reach my eyes. "I can't sleep anymore."

I walk over to the window and pull open the shutters, allowing the faint morning light to stream in. The sight of the sparkling dew-kissed grass is beautiful, it always is, but it stirs no joy within me... at least, not anymore.

"Serra..." he begins, his voice a low rumble. "About the past. I apologize for all the wrongs I've done to you. Our relationship might not be the same as before, but I promise you that I will treat you better now."

I shift my attention to him again. Of course, our relationship won't be the same as before. I'm not as gullible and stupid as before. This time, I will have the upper hand.

"I..." I start, but paused to pretend that I am hesitating. "Your words are unexpected," I say, being careful with each word.

"I know, but I-"

"It's fine," I say, raising my hand to stop him. "When I planned to return, I... I have already decided to forgive you."

Gideon's eyes lit up. He moves closer to me and takes a hold of my hand.

"Serra," he whispers, his voice filled with gratitude. "As we restart, there might be lingering resentment in your heart... But I will do my best to rebuild the trust between us."

What 'trust' between us? There is nothing like that before, and definitely nothing now. Still, I nod and give him a faint smile.

"To start anew, we need to let go of the past. We both deserve a chance to move forward."

I almost vomit in disgust at the words I uttered. I may be unaware when people are taking advantage of me, but I am not that stupid!

He squeezes my hand gently, his expression softening. "Thank you, Serra. I promise to prove myself worthy of your love."

Then, he pulls me towards the chair and makes me sit. "There's also one other thing," he starts. "I've sent my concubines away - all but the pregnant ones."